There's something that is quite evident between Chileans who live outside of Chile, something that I too used to share with enthusiastic vigor. There is a tendency to idealize this country and recall with a deep sense of nostalgia all the memories ever created during the time spent in this narrow land. It wouldn't be fair to begin this blog immediately removing myself from this since in reality I spent the majority of my life in the exact same state of mind as those I now observe as quite nostalgic.

Growing up as "foreigners" wasn't an easy feat in the San Francisco Bay Area, especially during the early 80s when being Latin wasn't necessarily celebrated. Sure, it could have been worse (we could have been living in the middle of Kansas or Minnesota) but it took a bit before being Latin was actually celebrated. Even as I recall high school and certain "movements" by the Latino groups, this was mainly centered around Mexican-Americans, who, let's face it, far outnumbered the Chileans. As such was the case, the small close-knit group of Chileans who lived in the Bay Area had a reduced network of neighbors and peers who "got" what it meant to be Chilean and who understood firsthand all the idiosyncrasies involved with being Chilean. My thought is that the likelihood of building and sustaining nostalgia bubbles involving all things Chilean was much, much greater because the real thing was much, much farther (it's not like we could walk down the street and hit up a Chilean restaurant just like that.) Everyone who surrounded you felt the same distance, the same void, the same yearning to be closer, the same awe, the same patriotism and much, much more. The result was always the same when groups of Chileans got together: it was as if celebrating the 18th of September each and every time. Cuecas (Chile's national dance), wine, "ensalada a la chilena," a good asado produced our own little Chile no matter the occasion. - birthdays, anniversaries, marriages and even 4th of July resulted in the creation of a little Chile.

The fact that we were greatly outnumbered by Mexicans and Central Americans only perpetuated the nostalgia bubble. It was as if being the cheese that stands alone meant that it was our duty, our calling, our right, to show the world "We're Chilean, dammit! Not Mexican! We don't eat burritos!" (Actually, neither do Mexicans.) And in feeling this national pride, we tended to migrate towards others who shared like sentiments and who would join us in talking about how great Chile was or who would take the time to comment with us on the breathtaking, majestic beauty of the Andes Mountains. If we came across Chilean tourists it was if we'd been reunited with a long-lost sibling and we bombarded them with questions about "la patria" - now I realize that in acting this way, I'm sure that the visiting Chileans pretty much surrendered to the fact that Chileans who lived abroad were weirdos. We stopped at nothing, even inviting them to our homes for an "asado" because LORD KNOWS they must miss it, right? I mean, we did!

The distance between San Francisco and Santiago meant that when you took time off to vacation in Chile, you went for at least two weeks. Some people, like my mom, rarely went for less than one month. ONE MONTH of vacation, can you imagine? But people did this and no one thought anything of it. During that time, you jam packed your days traveling from north to south, to the coast and back again and made sure to visit each and every family member and friend who ever meant anything to you, even if that meant having back-to-back asados. It was great to visit, especially during summer in Chile, because the family would usually try to coordinate their vacations with yours. You can imagine the nonstop fun that resulted with a handful of people on vacation, ready to let loose, go to the beach and have themselves a whole heap of fun. You'd spend Christmas and New Year surrounded by family, enjoying the hot weather, eating, drinking, dancing and being merry. All of this was quickly compared to the cold, gray, desolate life you returned to when you went back home to the San Francisco Bay Area and of course, you quickly saw Chile as the only place in the world where you could possibly be happy.

Immediately returning from sunny, warm, family-oriented vacations, it was easy to recall the memories of a short time ago, when you were setting the table for "once" (tea time), going to the grocery store to pick out the meat for the asado in the evening, opening a bottle of red wine so that it could breathe or sitting down with a "pucho" (slang term for cigarette and no, I don't smoke) ready to discuss the latest happenings with friends or friends of friends.

I was part of all this, an active part of all this. Nothing was better than Chile. Chilean wine was better, Chilean seafood was better, the Chilean way of life, the fact that people knew how to balance work and life, the proximity you had to others, the way people knew their neighbors ... I would be in awe just standing in line at the supermarket, listening to the Chilean accents all around me. Each and every single vacation abroad was to Chile and when I returned, I'd immediately calculate when I could return again. Back home, I had an entire wall in my apartment dedicated to Chilean artisan crafts. I had a sticker on the back window of my Jetta with the Chilean flag on it. I had a notebook that I carried with me to all meetings, in SF or elsewhere, with a panoramic view of Santiago. In short, I was obsessed with my "patria" and made sure to say it loud, say it proud, every chance I had - "I'm Chilean!!!!!"

Then, I moved to Chile and began building my life here.

There are so many great things about this country, it would be unfair to say that I was completely wrong to idealize it when I lived back home. But it would also be unfair to not acknowledge that living here is considerably different than visiting. One of the first things I realized is that there really isn't a work/life balance. People work a lot and they work constantly. Vacations are usually reserved for 1-2 weeks in February and a week in August - that's it. It just so happened that when I would visit in December/January, family members would coordinate their vacations with mine. The food is good, but honestly, there is much more variety and richer tastes elsewhere - notably for me, in the U.S. Wine is amazing but then again, I miss not having the option of a California wine, New Zealand wine or Australian wine. It's just Chilean, all.the.time. Also summer here is suffocatingly hot and most of the time, you have to endure it in Santiago because an escape to the beach is 1) expensive and 2) requires reservations far in advance during the peak summer months. Also, I don't really see any difference in the way people live their lives here in that, most of the time, people go on their merry way, following the routine of their lives and rarely weaving in and out of other people's lives. In short, it's not all that neighborly as I once thought it to be. One more thing: we don't do "once." In fact, I don't even LIKE "once." There was once a time when I truly longed for it. Now I just find it utterly mundane to repeat breakfast a second time around. Finally, unfortunately enough, I take for granted the fact that my entire family is here and that, as such, I could pretty much see them more often than I ever could. If not more often, at least, much more easily than before. I'm as much of an "ingrata" (ungrateful or, in this case, absent) as everyone else in my family and because of this, we never see each other! And it's a damn shame.

When it comes to Chile and the nostalgia it promotes in Chileans who live abroad, I'm on the other side of the looking glass now. I see them and I hear them talk about Chile with a sense of longing and a sense of pride that I no longer share. I see their pictures of the September 18th celebrations that were held back home, and they enjoy it with 100% more patriotism and passion than I've seen in the two dieciochos I've spent living here. Their Chi-chi-chi, le-le-le's are louder and more heartfelt, especially compared to mine, which haven't been uttered in well over a year. When I see these people on Facebook or in person, hear them over the line or in front of me, I no longer recognize those sentiments - ones that used to define me as a person! It's like I'm looking at a picture of a great-great-great grandmother and trying desperately to find a nose-hair of resemblance.

I don't recognize myself in them, or in their sentiments anymore, and I can no longer relate.

Labels: friends, history, memory lane, move

I'm intrigued by kids, especially those with imagination and drive. This is because on the other hand, I've seen my fair share of the typical kid and his/her antics. I know it's not their fault these kids have nothing new to offer; it's mainly their parents fault and in light of that, I think the majority of parents today are really proactive about how their kids develop and how they are stimulated. It's a sign of the times, I believe.

Which is why it's no surprise that some very close family friends back home have accomplished something that I too hope to accomplish when I have children: they're raising women leaders who wish to make this world a better place.

I reject the idea that if one is a girl, that girl needs pink and needs dolls and needs cutesy this or that. Girls aren't bubbles, fragile and likely to burst if poked. Further, girls, just like boys can very well be encouraged to run, explore, climb, question, think, laugh, build, rearrange and a series of other active verbs that right now escape me but that are traditionally seen as boy behavior.

Our family friends have three girls: Kylie (11), Devon (10) and Piper (8) and these three girls think big. They started a club called Earth Savers Club for Kids about two years ago, initially with the belief "think globally, act locally," with the purpose of picking up trash around their neighborhood in Northern California. But big thinkers and doers don't just settle on the first idea that comes to mind, no matter how old or young they may be. No, they decided that to go BIG would mean reaching kids in other parts of the State, country and world and encouraging kids to pledge their commitment - however they can - to saving the Earth. Some kids pledge (via the website) to eat as much organic food as possible, others pledge to pick up garbage and recycle more, while others pledge to save the Earth by simply walking more. Um, did I mention these are KIDS making said pledges?? Rock star kids, all of them.

A local newspaper called "The Almanac" did a short report on these three girls and their hope for the future. But the real gem that lets one truly appreciate where these girls hope to go and what they hope to accomplish is the actual Earth Savers Club for Kids, a colorful, interactive website that invites kids from all over the world to join the global effort to save the Earth's natural resources. As 10-year old Devon reminds us in the article she wrote for an e-magazine, "the Earth can't be saved without kids." Call me crazy, but if I were a parent, I'd definitely use this site to encourage my kids to participate in their own way.

An epilogue to ponder ....
On a personal note, I've known these girls since they were babies. In fact, I've known Kylie since she was 4 months old and I "met" Devon and Piper days after they were each born. My mother used to be their nanny when we lived in California and we were as much a part of eachother's lives as any blood-related relatives. We've had the opportunity (and honor) to watch these girls grow up, celebrating with them, vacationing with them, sharing with them and to watch them individually become exactly who they chose to be ... They are the reason I reject the notion that girls - and women - aren't capable of excelling beyond our everyday imagination (and expectation). I've seen it first hand numerous times and in the simplest of forms, such as conversations with them or everyday play with them. In any case, I'm proud of them and of the girls they have become ... I look forward to marveling at the women they will be and I hope that one day, if I have a girl, I too can accomplish the feat of encouraging her to look around and consider how she can help make things better.

Labels: California, friends, how it should be, memory lane

Last night I had a few ladies over for happy hour and I have to admit, I got really excited about showing people my wedding stuff...to the point that Gonzalo kind of freaked out on me, asking me in an exaggerated tone if I was going to show/talk about all the details to such an extent that nothing would remain a surprise at the actual wedding.

SO SUE ME!!

Who else am I supposed to show the actual dress to? The shoes? The table descriptions? The wedding band? My friends aren't here!!! They won't be here! Isn't it part of the excitement - and RIGHT - for a bride to show all the new jewelry she bought to girlfriends who can ooooh and ahhhh over it??

The thing is, I didn't realize how much I wanted to share all this stuff until last night. Actually, I realized it yesterday afternoon. I was on a conference call with work and my mother answered the door. It was Fed Ex delivering my shoes and jewelry for the wedding. It was at that point, when I saw the items I had picked on my own, that I wanted to share with everyone and tell them "Look! Look! This is what I'm going to wear when I get married!" And that's exactly what I did last night with the friends I had over. I may have gone a tad bit too far when I whipped out the wedding band but then again, it was a mere 8-9 women who saw it and of those, 3 are invited to the wedding ... they make up a small fraction of the people we know and a small fraction of those attending ... so I can't stress about having bombarded them with wedding stuff. I just hope they didn't mind! Ack!

The fact is, I've spent the majority of the wedding planning under wraps. Mum's been the word! Gonzalo and I have picked things out together, decided on items, highlights, events, moments and everything under the sun - just him and I. I've chosen to not share many details about the wedding until only recently. It wasn't until my final dress fitting that I even sent pictures to ALL my friends back home and it wasn't until last night that more than two people saw my band, my shoes or jewelry. I can safely say as well that my hair accessories and how I'll wear my hair has been kept mum ... in fact, SO MUCH has been on the DL, now that I think about it. Some things, like my shoes for example, have made cameos on Facebook (as of today) and that's ok with me. Why NOT share it? Again I ask, who else am I supposed to share all this with? And is it wrong to want to share?

Discuss amongst yourselves. Meanwhile, I'm going back to my secret life of a bride-to-be. :o)

Labels: friends, wedding

Can I rave a bit?

After writing an entry about how no one from the States was going to be traveling to Chile for my wedding and how upset I was about that, last night, three of them got together to throw me a bride's dinner ... just to remind me that though none of my friends could be with me during this time before (and during) my wedding, they were there with me and they are happy to celebrate with me.

And though I've said it before, I'll say it again - I'll look around on April 17th and be SO VERY happy to see the friends I've made here in Chile there with me when I get MARRIED! Married!!! There was a time when I first arrived when I thought I'd never even make friends with anyone, let alone have people care enough to show me that I'm not alone. But this year has proven just the opposite of what I thought when I first arrived. Between having them come out for my surprise birthday happy hour, sharing a joint bachelorette party with two fellow brides, attending their weddings and so many other little things in between, 2010 may be a year with below-par customer service in EVERY WAY, but the friendship category in 2010 is proving to be humbling.

Lovely ladies indeed ... as my life forms in Chile next to the one I love, having a solid set of good girlfriends leaves me asking for nothing more. Mad props to them! Thanks for the pastel de choclo, algae flowers and ice cream!

Labels: 2010, birthday, friends, wedding

When I lived in the U.S. and used to wonder when and if I'd get married, I worried that the majority of my family wouldn't be able to make it to the iconic event (iconic in my life, that is.) After all, I'm by NO MEANS from a wealthy family and most of my relatives are lower-middle class who can thankfully afford to live their everyday lives but who unfortunately can't afford to live beyond that. Meaning, had I lived in the States, they most likely would not have been able to attend my wedding there.

Now that I'm in Chile, I'm seeing another side of this coin materialize. I'm going to get married without ANY of my good friends present. I'm serious. Zero. I'm talking college friends, post-college friends, best friend, family friends who are like blood relatives and those who have known me (and vice) versa since I arrived in the U.S. back in 1980 when I was 3 years old. Not one of them will be present on April 17th when I finally get married to the awesome guy I get to love forever more.

In short, I'm sad.

I'm not saying this in a "woe-is-me" fashion but in a very matter-of-fact kind of way. It saddens me that my closest friends won't be here and that I can't share this wonderful day with them. And while I'm not the first bride who isn't going to have everyone she cares about present (hello - I've had to miss many weddings of people I consider myself very close to), I do think (perhaps incorrectly) that most brides have at least SOME of their friends present, if they can't have them all. In my case, NONE of my U.S. friends will be there. So I'm here writing about it, as I drink a glass of vino, and in about five more minutes, I'll move on from this sad realization and carry on with all that's good about my wedding and life. That's all I'm giving myself, people. This blog entry and five more minutes to feel sad about it.

The fact of the matter is that none of my friends are purposely NOT attending my wedding. There is so much that comes into play when a friend chooses to get married outside city limits. First, it's time. Their time is as valuable as mine and of course coming to Chile automatically means at least 4-5 days of their time that they have to peace out from their lives. They might have a whole lot going on that just doesn't allow for that kind of check out from their every day. I completely get that. Then there's the earthquake. If there was anyone who was remotely considering coming down, the earthquake and all they hear about it on tv surely deterred them from acting on travel down to Chile. Finally, the all-encompassing issue about money. We all get that. I get that completely! One of my close family friends got married in Scotland and I wanted to cry when I couldn't attend!! Why? Money of course! A ticket to Scotland, hotel in Scotland, food and other miscellaneous outings would have put my cost for that wedding upwards of US$2,000. At that point in my life, I just couldn't do it even though there was nothing I wanted more than to see this person get married.

Cognitively I completely understand all of the above. Further, I've been on that end before and have lamented not being able to attend a couple of very important weddings. Logistically I TOTALLY get the reasons why travel to Chile is short of impossible at this point in time. In fact, it used to be that I was going to get married over Thanksgiving holiday this year. Then G and I decided "Why wait?" I know for sure that the change from November to April threw a good handful of people off. People who might have otherwise attended.

But I'm still sad (for the remainder of this blog entry plus five more minutes.)

For a second I even thought about doing a type of "reception" or "party" in the States in June when I'll be there for work. But then I thought "Why?" My wedding is in April and that's when I'm going to celebrate it. Yes, I'm sad that people who are very important to me can't attend, but that's just how the cookie crumbles. I'm not going to do one thing after another just because they can't come down here. My wedding is April 17th 2010 - that's how it will stay.

Alas - life goes on. And my life, in light of recent events here in Chile, gives me little reason to complain. I'm fortunate through and through. I've met great people here and I'm happy to know they will be there when I get married. After all, my life is here now and they get to embark on that new part of my life WITH me. I'll be happy to look around and see their faces - I really, really will be. And my family will be there, not all of them, but the ones who matter most to me, will absolutely be there. How awesome is that?? Two of the three family members I have who still live in the U.S. will be traveling down to be with me - how can I complain?

It's all good in the hood. I'm just a wee bit sad to think of my special friends who won't be here ... but starting now, that sadness is fleeting ... five more minutes and it's gone.

Labels: 2010, friends, wedding

The 3rd anniversary of my 30th birthday was the best birthday celebration I can remember having since back in the day when my mom used to rent out the second floor of the local Round Table Pizza where I'd have endless options of pizza slices to choose from and I could run around playing video games with family friends (those were the days!) I remember I'd sport a foofy dress, socks with ruffles and white patent leather shoes. (Actually I think I may still have that outfit!)

Yesterday was my birthday: the first one I spent here living in Chile AND the first one I celebrated with Gonzalo (last year at this time we lived apart.) And if there's ever any doubt as to why I would pick up my life in San Francisco and move to South America for the love of my life, let me tell you, yesterday - from beginning to end - reminded me [and anyone else who questions it] why.


The minute the clock read 12:00 midnight on January 5th, G jumped up to hug me and wish me the best birthday ever, to tell me how happy he was that we could be together and to tell me how much he loved me. Then he ran away ... outside and down to his car to get me my presents. Awwww ... and when I saw him coming I was most stoked about a card I saw in his hand, mainly because in Chile, cards are not the norm. Random, I know, but as G's company is the official importer of Hallmark products into Chile, he told me of some crazy statistic that indicates that Americans buy about 8 cards a year (pp), the British buy about 15 cards a year (pp) and Chileans average about 1.5 cards a year per person! I expect no less from him though since 1) he imports Hallmark product into Chile and 2) he's detail-oriented like that and he'd never show up sans card.

In the first gift were the cutest beach towels I've ever rec'd. Two of them and they're mine - all mine!! Pink and purple and girly and fabulous!! Just like me (minus the pink and purple). For a split second I was confused as to why he'd chosen beach towels but then I remembered that we go to Pil's apartment to use her pool in this ridiculously hot summer and I'm always complaining about not having large towels. Obviously then I was even more stoked! (It's the little things that do it for me.)

Then I proceeded to open the second gift in front of me, and I'm not gonna lie... it truly made me wonder if he knew me AT ALL. For a second I imagined he thought we was about to marry Florence Henderson. I didn't proceed to pull out necessarily the ugliest purse known to man, per se, but I will say that it's got to be the blandest purse to grace the Earth. Poor muffin ... I thought to myself "Oh well, he tried" ... but then he told me that while he was purchasing it, he was telling the sales lady that I'd return it anyway. She apparently insisted that no, this purse was just "great" and that I was "sure to love it." And he just smiled and shook his head and said "No la conoce." (You don't know her.) Yes, I too wonder why in the heck he'd buy it in the first place, but I think it's because he wants me to have a new purse, so with this one, I can go back and get the one I like. A+ for effort, my sweet little muffin pants! BRAV-O!

Then I reached for the card ... and aside from OF COURSE being the best birthday card a woman could ever receive (in the same manner that most moms think their kid is the most genius of all genius little kids out there) inside was a print-out of an apartment he rented on the beach ... a five day getaway to one of the best beach areas in Chile. Knowing how much I love the ocean (even though I lived near one for almost my entire life, I took that for granted, I now realize) and how much I love seafood and all things related to the sea ... by far, the best gift ever, from the best person ever.

Later, after we woke up, and he made me breakfast before he left for work... after I rec'd a call from the front desk of our apartment building alerting me to the delivery of a dozen roses ... after eating half the chocolates in the box I rec'd while he was at the office (moo!)... after all that, it was time for my "romantic birthday dinner" - or so I thought.

Let me just preface this little paragraph by stating that G could never - NEVER - work as a double agent. I was on to him as early as Sunday - two whole days before my birthday. I knew something was up. Mainly it was because almost everyone I know here in Chile, except for about 3 people, wished me a very 'by the way' type of 'happy birthday.' Those who usually called me insistently on my bdays in years past, called all of once...and there were still others who called yesterday who previously had NEVER called before (would send happy bday emails instead.) And when I asked G what the name of the restaurant was called so that I could Google it, I found that there were various sites stating that the restaurant was closed (something he brushed off as pure fabrication when I pointed this out to him.)

Oh I knew something was up ... but I was surprised - and nervous! - to see that he had pulled together as many people as he could from my new Chilean life to celebrate my 3 to the 3 over drinks and apps (and a waffle dessert...) Nervous because I tend to feel that way with groups of people who are together to celebrate me. Mainly this happens because I freak out over not being able to talk to them all as much as I'd like! And I was surprised because it was the first time I truly realized that I really did have a life here in Chile. I really do know people - great people - and they all wanted to come out and celebrate my birthday with me. My Chilean friends, my gringa friends, my family, alongside my fiancee - all of them were there to wish me a very happy birthday. :o) My friend who had just arrived from a very long trip just the day before, my friend who helped G plan a good chunk of it, to my friends who are preggers and can't even drink cocktails, to my favorite cousins who trekked to a part of the city they never hang out in, and to the friend who lives at the other end of Santiago - all were there! And I was grateful for all of it.

Cut to me five months ago and I never thought I'd see the Chilean day when I would walk into a bar in Santiago and find a table full of people waiting to celebrate me! In the end, I know it was the sweetest thing G could have ever done for me to celebrate my bday because I know he did it to show me that I was ok here and that I really did have a life (outside of him) here. And that gift, my fellow bloggers and blog readers, is worth its weight in gold.

My "Gringuita" Friends (adore them!)



Including G's partner-in-crime



My cousins (who traveled from afar!) and their boyfriends



...and a group shot following the waffle incident

Labels: birthday, friends, G

There are five major tasks I have present in my mind for 2010 and I hope to embark, enjoy and excel at all five of them. (No pressure.) I'm not going to call them resolutions because I feel that I'll just be setting myself up for failure (and nothing depresses me more than failure) but I'd like to consider them as chapters of 2010. What I write in each chapter will literally be relayed in my blog but will also write a chapter in my life that I hope I can call "satisfactory" in 12 more months. Mentioning it in my blog now will only help me in determining how I approached and conquered each area.

1) Wedding and marriage.
For the love of all that's sacred and holy, I just hope I have time to enjoy and appreciate all the planning and all the money Gonzalo and I are currently putting into our wedding day. Sometimes I don't fully get the scope of the fact that I'm planning all this for me - for us. In fact, I see that I still handle it in the most corporate of ways, as if planning something for a boss. Case in point, I capture all images/ideas/suggestions in power point presentations and review them with G slide by slide. Discuss. Or don't since it's kind of pathetic/weird but whatever, it's efficient. I can't imagine what it will look like or how I'll feel that very day but I do hope that I have time to sit back, if even for a mere minute, and take it all in.
Wedding day aside, I do hope I'm good at the marriage part. I'm dabbling in it right now (some would call it living in sin, muahahaha) and here's what I've noticed about my part in married life: 1) I like to cook 2) I really do run the house 3) I need to work on my listening skills 4) I need to let others form - and express - their opinions before I go blabbing mine about 5) More hugs needed! Warm fuzzies if you will. They just make all things better. 6) Need to make sure that we keep up the spontaneous date nights/days. So far, so good with that just need to make sure it keeps up.

2) Friendships
"Some of you I know; some of you I'm meeting for the first time." (movie line, guess the movie and character). With that, I want to keep cementing the friendships that are forming now with people I've met in Chile BUT I'd also like to branch out and meet new people. Namely, I'd like to see about clicking with some Chileans. Weird concept, I know, given that it hasn't been easy thus far. I blame my lack of outside activity (I work from home) but I'll get to new opportunities for that in a bit. Or...wait. At least I'd like to blame my lack of outside activity and NOT think that I'm not clicking with Chileans because it's me, not them.
With that, I can't forget my peeps back home. Before I left CA I had an idea of who I would remain good friends with always ... but those things change and some people are really "out of sight, out of mind." That's their M.O. and God love them for it. There are others who remain the same people and the same kind of friend as before. And there are yet others who charge ahead in the friendship arena and come out shining as a friend you never thought you'd have. I'll reserve public op/eds on the three types of friends that evolve when one moves to another country but I will say that no matter what, I hope to be a good and present friend to all my peeps back home.

3) Back to School
I submitted my application to return to school for a Masters in Marketing. If all goes according to plan, I should be starting classes in April of next year (yeah, as in the same month I get married.) By then, it will have been a full ten years since I graduated undergrad and that's pushing it since I truly believe I checked out in 1999 and sort of skimmed through my last two quarters of college (a teacher once wrote "Senoritis?? Too bad" on a term paper that year. That's how awesome I was!) My point here is that I hope I don't freak out, I hope I learn to navigate the system well...and I hope the Spanish part of the studying doesn't throw me off. I would like to avoid any kind of indication of "Senioritis" from a professor during my Masters study, if at all possible.
Who am I kidding? This is going to be one intimidating mess for me but I hope I persevere and come out with a good education. AND, it would be quite nice to come out with at least one, if not two, friends. I'll be OUT THERE, in the Chilean system, learning from them about their ways (in marketing). Kind of "when in Rome" ... so my hope is to grab on to some would-be friends in that process. Now that I think about it, I should be hoping I have something interesting to contribute in the study groups I'll be in. No one wants to be the dumb one in study group.

4) Writing
A few days ago I was a lady who lunched (with some other fellow gringas) and one of them asked me what I had gone to undergrad for, meaning what did I study. I realized that back in the day all I wanted to be was a journalist. I even wrote for my high school newspaper and was editor of the "social" section. I went to Davis for a degree in Communications with the purpose of pursuing this journalistic goal ... that of course didn't pan out bc I took a different route during the dot com bubble. That office job led to another office job and before I knew it, journalism fizzled. Perhaps I would have been a kick ass journalist. Perhaps it's my parallel life a la the indie movie Sliding Doors. Maybe I'd be living in New York, working as an international correspondent for CNN. Oh my...me likey that...Ok snap back to reality and obviously that's not the route I took BUT what has stayed with me nonstop is the thing that motivated me from day one - writing. Skits for school, short stories, poems, diaries and now a blog - I simply can't live my life without some part of it dedicated to writing. I do hope that in 2010 this writing becomes more focused. I have always dreamed of writing a story somewhat based on my family story, a mind-boggling one that is made for Lifetime television for women. When I read Isabel Allende's "The House of the Spirits" I thought to myself "I know this family. Oh wait! This is like MY family and their story." Except mine is less whimsical and more dramatic. Trust me it would make for some great poolside reading. Will I ever get to it? I don't know. But I hope to always be on the writing path that may allow me to stumble upon this story that's just waiting to be told.

5) Co-Baller
I actually coined this term the other day while I was lunching (the same lunch referenced above. Don't think I spend my days lunching like a proper Southern woman. I don't, though of course I wish I did!) The point I was making was that I too wanted to be a baller... meaning I hope to be very successful in my career so as to afford comforts that I didn't have the majority of my life. I have dreams I'd like to see become reality and goals I'd like to achieve. Perhaps some of these dreams and goals would seem superficial and materialistic to some while to others, they will seem like basic goals anyone should be striving towards. When I was in the U.S. I felt like I was on a path to making that happen. I went to school, got good grades, went to college, did the internships, extra-curricular activities, got a job, focused, got promoted, focused more, got promoted again, etc. A masters degree was in the back of my mind but since I was already a director at my company, it wasn't pressing. I knew the path, I knew the in's and out's of working in the U.S. and knew basically what I had to do in order to get ahead in the corporate world. Now I'm in a completely different country and though the basic how-to's are probably the same, I'm in a completely different playing field, with completely different players. I see it as starting all over again (though perhaps not from the VERY bottom as I was back in the day, straight out of college). And so, in 2010, I hope to regain my footing on my way to being a co-baller (by "co" I mean alongside G because to me, he's already a baller.) I hope I begin to understand what's needed to get there in Chile and that I learn what it even LOOKS like in Chile. That way I can put my eye on the prize and just work towards it. I feel confident that I'll achieve this, as I think going back to further my education will help immensely. Nothing like preparing yourself for battle, so to speak, on the same turf where one will be battling. I should come out much more aware and I hope to focus on that in 2010.

My focus list can't be too long though or I might just call it a day and not get anything done. I'll for sure dabble in trying to be healthy and being in prime physical condition but I won't kid myself into thinking I'll become one of those crazy, workout obsessed brides-to-be. That just ain't me, baby. So let's just say I have 5.5 things to focus on in 2010 and I'll be back in about 364 days to review this post and see how far I've come. I'll trust that I'll have conquered the world by then as my plans for world domination are coming along nicely.

Labels: 2010, friends, resolutions, wedding, world domination

All right folks - the hoopla of Christmas is now safely behind us and thankfully we can now lend our attention to more important matters at hand: the upcoming close of yet another year.

You know, I remember when I was a kid and August rolled around... the thought of Christmas and the first time I'd get REAL time off from school, seemed SO - FAR - AWAY. Now that I'm older it seems that I blink and all of a sudden it's fall (well, spring here now) and then hello, it's Thanksgiving. And from there, it's a sleigh ride into Navidad and all its commercial glory. After New Year's it's Valentine's before you even have a chance to double check your resolution list and well, from there it's just a matter of seconds before you're planning your Memorial Day bbq's. I mean, the space time continuum has significantly shifted to high gear since I was a kid. I don't know. Maybe the 80s were just a slower decade... perhaps each decade before that was even slower! For all we know, maybe the 1930's took an entire 20 years to complete! I'm just sayin...

For this reason related to the speeding up of time, I'm especially glad that prior to my adventures in blogging, I kept a diary, a detailed account of my days really, ever since I was 7 years old. Just as I started to slack off on my diary entries, I started to blog. Somehow, somewhere, there is a full account of my life, should the case be that I ever become famous and a highly controversial public figure (as this will prove to be QUITE the arsenal in my life - either for or against me.)

In short, I can sum up this year of my life, from Jan 1, 2009 to these last few days remaining in December 2009, as having been full of love, growth ... and technology.

Leaving aside the egocentricity of my blog, right now I'd like to remember (as well as capture in writing) the love that bloomed for my dearest friends this year. Beginning with Amanda and Adam, who were married at the New York Botanical Garden on May 24th, 2009.



Followed by the marriage of my friends Corey and Chris on August 8, 2009...Happy, happy, happy couple!



And on December 25th (or 24th, not sure since I don't have the full scoop yet) my dear friend Lauren received the much anticipated proposal from her boyfriend (now fiancee), Mark. To say that I'm beyond thrilled is a fierce understatement and I won't even THINK such an inappropriate sentiment... I'm over the moon happy for them both and no words available to me in either Spanish or English can adequately sum up how happy I am for them.



Somewhere in between all the love my friends were getting (and giving) I myself got the proposal I thought I'd never, ever receive. I swear, there were times in my past life when I'd sit in my room, hearing story after story of college classmates who were dropping like flies into the realms of marriage. WHAT ABOUT ME??!!!, I used to think. What was wrong with me? Was I not lovable? Was I forever destined to be with men who didn't appreciate me, respect me or regard me? Or was I forever meant to be with boys who were about a mile short of becoming men? For the above-mentioned two type of guys were the only ones I seemed to land! So I spent time and again feeling sorry for myself regarding men and wondered if I'd ever have a husband and a family of my own ... until finally I came to terms with being alone and I was actually relishing the new found contentment about being single when LO AND BEHOLD, when I least expected it (as cliche as that sounds) in walks destiny.

June 7, 2009 - the day I wondered about for about two decades, the day I feared would NEVER, EVER come... finally came... :o)


Note that the first thing I said to my mom when we called her (about 15 minutes after this picture was taken) was "OMG mom someone wants to MARRY ME!!! Can you believe it?" That caused a good chuckle from her and him alike, but trust me, there was a part of me that was kind of in awe with this concept. Grateful, but in awe nonetheless.

But none of this love shmlove stuff could have POSSIBLY happened without the other two things that are prominent about my 2009: technology and the move.

Technology could only take Gonzalo and me so far. While he lived in Santiago, Chile and I lived near San Francisco, CA I'm not sure how long our relationship would have ultimately lasted with such a distance. However I do know that it lasted as long as it did despite being apart thanks to mobile communication devices (i.e. cell phones), Skype, email, Facebook and the Internet in general. I can't imagine it now, but my life pretty much evolved around my Skype time with him ... did I make plans after work with girlfriends? Yes I did. But trust me, they were far fewer than my life prior to Skype time. And well - what woman doesn't appreciate lugging herself up the steps to her apartment after work only to find a box from 1-800-Flowers containing tulips, or roses, or what have you, sent from her boyfriend living thousands of miles away?

Ultimately though, the only way our relationship would survive was for one of us to transplant themselves to where the other one was ... that person ended up being me since 1) I don't have kids and he does and 2) I speak both languages fluently, thus the likelihood of my adjustment being faster was greater. That move was well documented as it gave rise to this blog ... for more details on that part of my life, check back to past entries. Notably, those from July. Hence, one of the major marks of my 2009 was the move from the U.S. to Chile to be with my one and only. Obviously something so maje rightfully takes center stage this year.

The final element of 2009 that I mark with great significance is that of my job/career. I sadly watched as many of my coworkers were laid off earlier this year due to the flailing economy and our company's reaction to such a decline was that of self-preservation. This makes sense and when my coworkers left, I was (thankfully) left to step into roles that were left empty ... and these roles helped me learn a great deal about 1) being thankful to have a job, 2) adjusting to (corporate) emergency situations 3) appreciating that one's company has such confidence in the abilities of the (remaining) employees and 4)turning on auto-pilot and just getting things DONE. When I realized that it was time for me to leave California and move to Chile, once again my job showed me that life could go on with them in tow too, as they allowed me to keep my job even after I moved. Maybe it was because they need me as much as I need them but either way, it was a great moment in 2009 when I realized that my company really did like me. I like them too. Oh, I have my grrr moments (and definitely had them earlier this year after all the lay offs) but in general, it's been a good 2009 job-wise and I'll be forever thankful that I was one of the people that could say that about 2009. I realize that many people can't.

So now that the Christmas bit is over and I'm about three days away from welcoming 2010, I'm sad to see a pretty good year come to an end. Each year on December 31st, I'm anxious about the upcoming new year especially since past years haven't been as great as this one has. I hope 2010 is even better (hi, the year I'm getting married and the year I start my Masters program!) but even if it's just as good as this one, I'll be more than happy and equally as grateful.

So until 2010, fellow bloggers and blog readers, I'll leave you with all my best wishes for a happy, healthy and successful 2010, in all ways! And don't drink and drive. :o)

Labels: 2009, friends, move

me: I really like that term, I hear you barking

Labels: Amanda, friends