We decided to go to Jumbo (one of the major grocery store chains in Chile) today and it was a madhouse ... literally the lines extended farther than I had EVER seen them... note below:



In his usual strategic/baller manner, G had the great idea to wait in the "15 items or less" line while I weaved around each aisle gathering items we might need for the next few days. We gathered 30 items and each paid separately. We beat the system! Boo-yah!!
But seriously, the grocery store was a NIGHTMARE mess. I think it's insane that we're all over-reacting (and I include myself... why else did I head to Jumbo today along with five billion other peeps?) The fact of the matter is that at least here in Santiago, where damage was minimal, life will most likely be 'back to normal' by Wednesday, if not sooner. Yet there we were, with half of Santiago, buying groceries as if the world was about to end. If that were the case (and we realize it's not, thank God) then I shouldn't be buying ice cream ... considering I only had a 30 item quota, you can see my priorities ... enough said.

The biggest issue we have right now is G's kids. They are in the "campo" which is basically a rural area, type of farm-ish zone, where his ex wife's family has a house there. Normally this is a great place for his kids to spend their weekends, as this place has animals, a pool, nature, fields to run wild, etc. AKA a kid's dream.
But after yesterday morning's events, the fact that they are in the middle of nowhere means that cell phone reception and electricity are likely to come back in full effect daaaaaaaaaays from now. As a parent, this is stressing G out like NO OTHER. And I don't blame him. He spoke with his kids this morning and learned that they had slept int the car with their mom because the family home was unstable (at least one wall had come down in the mostly adobe built house.) Now he can't get through to them at all. Since there's no power there, the most likely scenario is that his ex's cell phone died ... and even though he knows they are safe after the EQ and that their mom and family members are with them, that doesn't mean it allows G to worry less about them. Let's think about this: his kids have no running water, no electricity, no way to get out of where they are due to road closures ... and they're sleeping in a car. He's sure that food isn't an issue since they're basically on a working farm, but as a parent, after a major natural disaster, he's not going to rest until he literally SEES that his kids are ok. If he hasn't heard from or about them by tomorrow evening, most likely he'll grab his car and try to reach them once again. (Note my previous post to learn about his first attempt to reach them).

G has been watching the news NON-STOP since the EQ. Literally nonstop. At first it really, really annoyed me. After all, we were SO FORTUNATE to not have any major catastrophe happen here in Santiago where we live - why on Earth was he listening to one major catastrophe after another on tv (all near the epicenter zone)? Then he set me straight: he's the equivalent of a VP here and many, many people throughout Chile report to him...yet there are handful of people - of those, some who live right where the epicenter occurred - which he hasn't heard from yet. Are they ok? Do they have homes? Are their loved ones accounted for? He watches the news to see what's the latest in each region of Chile. Further, he watches for the simple fact that he hopes to hear that the roads are clear ... that way he can either reach his children or their mother can decide to drive back to Santiago. Needless to say, I am now keeping my mouth shut about the 24-hour news reports in the house...

Finally, my thoughts post-traumatic earthquake are these:

1) I f-ing hate the aftershocks. 11 floors up and believe me they feel like new earthquakes ALL OVER again. Not fun.

2) The emergency response in Chile is inspiring... though I'm concerned that not once did I hear about a tsunami warning for the Juan Fernandez Islands here in Chile ...yet they were devastated by a tsunami and about 20 people are missing.

3) Looting and delinquency is prevalent in the southern regions (7th and 8th) because these poor people have no food, no water, no electricity and thus far, no help has arrived. A curfew is in effect from 9 pm to 6 am in the city of Concepcion in order to halt the said looting and vandalism. In Santiago - at least in the comuna of Providencia where we live - things are very quiet and very "normal." Our visit to the grocery store was chaotic in terms of masses, but surprisingly orderly.

4) I'm tired and have lost all sense of normalcy. Until G's kids are back in Santiago and he's secure in their well-being; until we see advanced efforts in restoring basic infrastructure and necessities to the 7th and 8th regions of Chile; until the aftershocks cease and we all remember what it's like to just live in peace at home --> I'm not going to rest well.

In Santiago - in Providencia specifically (as that's all I can speak to since this is where we live) - we are SO FORTUNATE. I see no major structural damages when I walk outside and I see no one in a panic about missing family members or missing necessities. Yeah the grocery store was a mess, but it was an ORDERLY mess, if that makes sense. Everything we needed was THERE and there was no panic about that.

I wish this same tranquility to everyone who has been displaced and has felt immense misfortune and tragedy by yesterday's early morning events. After such an event, nothing calms the nerves more than NORMALCY. I wish I could say to all of them "come to my home, I'll take care of you" but of course that's not possible. So in place of that, I just hope that G's kids make it back to Santiago safely and that we can once again welcome them into our home this coming weekend ...

Labels: aftermath, earthquake

Sweet BeJeezus, that was scary!!

I'm not talking the "normal" kind of earthquake scary either ... the kind I knew before today. After living in the SF Bay Area for over 29 years, I thought I was pretty accustomed to feeling the ground move every so often.

But no matter how accustomed you think you are ... nothing prepares you for 2+ minutes of NON-STOP 8.8 ground movement and subsequent shaking, thundering, crashing and breaking that occurs with it.

Obviously we were in bed, G and I... and actually I had just gotten into bed after a bathroom break (TMI). I was commending myself and my dog for breaking the 3am barrier - i.e. the dog has stopped waking us up in the mornings whining from boredom. It was 3:15 am, baby was tired and we had a full day of wedding planning ahead of us...I closed my eyes, ready to enter my sweet lull.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand cue in the earth rolling ... like riding a wave, I imagine. Except being from an earthquake zone (SF Bay Area) one always first determines if the quake is going to stay put or suddenly get all agro on you.
In the most abrasive of manners I jolt G up with "It's an earthquake." He sits up with me to proceed with the analysis: is this going to roll along like this or is this going get ugly?

OH. And then it truly got UUUUUUUUUUUUGLY. Now, mind you, at this point we've been rolling along with the wave for a good 30 seconds and as each 15-second interval ticked by, the once-rolling motion proceeded to turn into sharp movements, jolting us back and forth. We live on the 11th floor, the topmost floor of our building, and since buildings in Chile are "earthquake ready," on the top floor you tend to feel each and every roll and jab TIMES TWENTY. And the thing is, the quake didn't stop... it didn't ease up or roll into a slow sweep... it not only kept going but it kept getting STRONGER AND STRONGER as each second, then MINUTE, ticked by. One by one I could hear things from other rooms crash to the floor; glass breaking, water splashing; thud, thud, crash, thud, shatter...and alongside those noises you hear the immense, RAW POWER of this monstrous earthquake that's taking you on this SOOOOOO-unsolicited ride.

I was at the door frame, holding on until my fingers hurt ... G was across from me in the bedroom holding our TV in place so that it wouldn't fall on our puppy below (who by they way, was FREAKING OUT.) I remember thinking "it's going to stop... it's going to stop, it HAS TO STOP, it's been so long" and realizing that the quake just kept going and going and getting stronger and stronger. At which point I seriously, cross-my-heart-stick-a-needle-in-my-eye thought to myself "Oh my God, I'm going to die in this earthquake. This building is going to fall and we're going to die." And NEVER, EVER have I had a thought like that, where for a second it was this peaceful-type realization that "this is it."

And then, of course, thank God, it did stop. And that's when the panic set in.

Our mom's live in the next "comuna" over, each in her own apartment but in the same building. Once I realized we were ok, all I could think about was my mom and her insane fear of earthquakes ... and the fact that she was alone. Quickly, G and I got dressed, grabbed the dog, ran down eleven flights of stairs IN THE DARK, dove into the car and raced through disabled stop lights to get to our moms' homes. Our moms where upset, of course, but once we got there and everyone was gathered outside, there was a sense of security. Unfortunately that security didn't lend itself to the other issue at hand: mobile phone connections and land lines were collapsed and G's kids were outside Santiago with their mom. For more than two hours G tried to get through just to make sure his kids were ok--> and NOTHING. No calls were getting through. He finally decided to drive the hour and a half drive to where they were - not that he had clear directions on how to get there (he was working off memory). 40 minutes later he calls me to tell me that he can't get through... the roads were closed due to collapsed overpass pedestrian walkways and crumbled pavement that ran for stretches at a time. I can't imagine the torture he was going through not knowing if his kids were ok ...and it was torture for me to know there was nothing I could do to help... [Update: his kids ARE ok and yes, he was able to talk to them. They're shaken and freaked out, but ok.] In the end he came back to my mom's apartment ... by then, none of us had eaten for over 12 hours and we certainly hadn't slept. But the sun was up. It was morning. Electricity was back at my mom's house. Those three things combined brought some feeling of security back. So we packed up our dog, his things, my mom (who came over to help clean up) and we headed back home, ready to face the mess that we briefly saw on our way out at 4 am.

Considering how fierce the earthquake was and how intense it felt, I'm surprised we didn't have more damage. At most we lost some cool picture frames. At best we have a crack going down the wall of our apartment's foyer to forever remind us of this atrocious event. We have friends here in Chile who live waaaaaaaaaay higher up than we do and the damage to their apartments was far worse ... not so much in terms of structure (like I said, Chilean buildings are "earthquake ready" thank God) but in terms of stuff thrown everywhere! We were spared, I think. In more ways than one.

The table in the front foyer, as you walk into the apartment. Plant and picture frames on the ground; area rug soaked. The crashing of this vase to the floor was not a welcome sound during the 'rolling-with-the-homies' episode.



The scene as we walked in to the dining room/living room area. Picture frames, meet the floor. Charmed, I'm sure.



This was a fun sight ... our yet-to-be-thoroughly-paid tv toppled over. That's the center table leaning in to kiss it hello. [Btw, we now know the tv is fine. And she's ok!]



And my office... which actually, now that I think about it, kind of always looks like this. Maybe slightly less messy.



In the end, my review for "Earthquake Chile 2010" is a big, fat, thumbs down. Please don't ever let me/us have to go through another 2.5 minute event that has us literally holding on for dear life. I'd like to take a "pass" on the aftershocks that continue to shake the city (and the country for that matter), most of which feel as if they're 5-6 points, given how high up we are. But on the other hand, I was amazed at how the Chilean people came to one another's aid in this crisis - even if it's to merely ask "hey, how are you?" (Which, by the way, is precisely what our neighbors did after the shaking stopped.) There's security in talking about what you went through and a feeling of safety in knowing that others went through the same thing. And I do have to say that the outpouring of concern and well wishers on my Facebook page was humbling. While I would rather never again have to go through what we went through at approximately 3:30 am Chilean time today, it serves to remind me how forever grateful I am... and in this case, I'm grateful that we survived.

Labels: 2010, apartment, earthquake, G, Obi wan Kenobi

I've never looked or felt frumpier. You know those new moms that you see walking down the street and you think to yourself "Geez sister, pull yourself together. A little eye make up would work wonders on you right about now. And while you're at it, pull that scrunchie out of your hair." I'm on the receiving end of that. For the first time in my entire adult life, the roots of my hair are over two inches out. In fact, my hair is about two months overdue for even a haircut! ... ask any of my close friends if that's normal for me and they would assure you that you're talking about someone else. I was formally known as the persnickety old aunt-type who liked to point out when someone needed to hit the hair salon STAT. I felt like I was offering a public service, really. Well the irony is that now, I'm that person I used to call out. Oh life, how you mock me! (and while we're on the topic, hi uni-brow!)
And don't get me started on my nails, both hands and toes...or the fact that I haven't dressed up and worn any type of heels in daaaaaaaaaaays (to be read, "months").

In a way, I am a new mom with the arrival of Obi-wan Kenobi on the 12th of this month. And I'm not sure having a puppy is all it's cracked up to be. First of all, he surely hates me. I'm not sure why he doesn't like me but he's taking to growling at me (the mean kind, not the playful kind I keep reading about) and, of course, he's taking to biting me. Let's add that to the fact that I spend about 8 hours a day cleaning his waste so that he's not running around in filth, making sure he has clean water, trying to remember to feed him every six hours, attempting to keep him clean, trying to train him to be a proper dog in a few months AND all the while waking up at 3 am EVERY morning because of his cries/whines. Of course I get myself out of bed and play with him and cuddle him as much as I can so that he feels secure and loved...And the thanks I get for all that? Bites and growls. Forgive me if for the time being I'm not quite understanding the whole "man's/woman's best friend" bit. I'm not saying that getting him was a mistake because I do have faith that things will get better. When he's a little older and outgrows this stage he's in, coupled with being able to take him outside so he can run free and mingle with other dogs (he doesn't have all his shots as of yet) I really do believe that life will be pleasant. That's part of what motivates me to keep training him, to keep teaching him right from wrong, to keep trying to make him a happy, well adjusted dog. But right now it's no picnic. In fact, it's downright dreadful.

I'm allergic to him, did I mention that? Yeah, I break out into hives whenever I hold him. I was having breathing issues too for a bit but then started taking Allegra AND we bought an air purifier with HEPA filter so things on the respiratory end are much more pleasant. For the hives I'm using a cortisone cream but unfortunately I can only apply it for a week ... that means until today since a week ago I went to the doctor for said prescriptions that enable me to be near our puppy. Here's a pic I took yesterday ... this is WITH the cortisone cream. Though in its defense, I did initially fail to apply it to this region ...



In case you haven't noticed the tone of this post, I'm feeling slightly depressed and glum. This is why I closed comments on this particular entry. There's no need to tell me that you relate to me, that you understand or that you're sorry. Also there's no need to tell me I need to snap out of it and stop feeling sorry for myself. I know all of the above and really, do appreciate any sentiment or time taken to express that sentiment. I'm really writing this because I simply just.felt.like.writing. After all, it's one of my 2010 proposals/resolutions so I thought it to be quite appropriate.

My wedding is in less than two months and I feel like things are wrapping up nicely. Summer is coming to an official end here in Chile so I hope that means that vendors are finally going to be responsive and available. Though here's a typical story... in November G and I went to the place where we want to get our cake and they told us that we were seriously too early to begin planning for the cake and that we should come back in February or March. All righty. So I called yesterday to ask about going in for the tasting and after answering the "when is your wedding" question, I'm met with:
"Oh honey, you should have come in a while ago! We're taking orders already for next year! What are you waiting for?"

FML and F-them.

Needless to say we're going this weekend.

But I have to say, despite all the planning and all the hoopla surrounding me in regards to weddings (two friends here are getting married in a couple of weeks, within a week of one another), I continue to feel like my own personal wedding is this event I'm planning in general and that I'm just attending as a guest. Like my own party I guess, but nothing major. In part I'm thankful for this feeling because it means I'm not stressing over details. Another part of me feels as if I'm cheating myself though! For myself personally, I pretty much have nothing. I don't have a bouquet, I don't have shoes, I don't have "something blue" and I don't have accessories. Yeah I have a dress and yeah, I like that dress, but it's certainly not the over-the-moon sentiment I thought I'd have about my dress. It's nice, I like it, I guess I look ok in it and that's about it. Something tells me that's NOT NORMAL!!!

The only constant is G and how much I love him and how much I love our life together. There's no one in this world I'd rather be with and no one who could make this depressive, blue state I'm in even remotely worth treading through. But all that other blue stuff makes me kind of numb... similar to the affect my skin has with the cortisone cream.

In general, sometimes my life in Chile feels like it's smothered in cortisone cream. I walk around not really being a part of this society and culture. I guess that sounds weird to those who don't know how the stuff works. It's more of a personal observation, I guess. I have a lot of them because when you don't really integrate well in a society, you mostly live in your head... which later results in diarrhea of the fingers on a keyboard within a blog entry.

Labels: 2010, depressed, dogs, G, Obi wan Kenobi, resolutions, wedding

My country tis of thee... Good LORD did I have a patriotic week last week!!

As some of you may already know, I became a U.S. Citizen last Thursday, after many, many months of waiting and weaving through bureaucratic mazes, it finally happened!
In the simplest of forms, here's what's involved:

1) somehow you become a Temporary Resident of the US and you get a nifty card that says so. (I was young so not sure how it officially happens)

2) After a year (I think) you get your permanent residency and you get another nifty card to replace your old one. (Incidentally, this is how I lived for years - Permanent residency and living life, paying taxes, going to school, working etc, etc. The only thing I couldn't do was vote.)

3) Apply to become a citizen after 5 years living as a permanent resident. Send a check for about $800 million dollars. Just kidding, it's close to $700 - and then you wait.

4) A letter arrives asking for your finger prints. The FBI wants to see what's up.

5) Another month passes and a letter arrives telling you they want to test you on American history and civics and "interview" you. Of the 1 million questions I studied, they asked me 6. Yes, just 6. Supposedly it's 10 but if you get 6 right in a row, they stop "due to time constraints."

6) Another month passes and you get a letter with your appointment date and information on where to take your Oath as US Citizen. Yay!!

Obviously there are people who wait months and months, if not years, to get from #3 to #6, but I gather that since I lived in the U.S. for so long and am, of course, and upstanding citizen, my wait proved to be shorter. And I thank you, U.S. Government!

The ceremony was held at the Masonic Temple in San Francisco (which kind of makes you wonder if all that jazz in "National Treasure" holds true) and there were 1,275 people from 109 countries there to take their oaths as U.S. citizens. It bothers me to say that many of these people could barely speak English ... this really bothered me though it's a topic best left to another post by another blogger all together. I'll just leave it at that.

We were seated in an auditorium facing a stage. Like this:



And there were many of us in the crowd:



And we listened to all kinds of people talk about what it means to become a citizen, social responsiblity, government regulations, etc. This was done by an officer and colleagues of the local USCIS office in San Francisco.

We watched videos about Ellis Island, which talked about how the U.S. was founded on, created by and run by immigrants:



Then we took our Oath as U.S. citizens... one by one, each country represented was called out. I stood up proudly when Chile was called and waited as countries ranging from Afghanistan to Uzbekistan were called and their soon-to-be former citizens stood up. Once everyone was standing, we were asked to raise our right hand and say the oath which automatically made us U.S. Citizens.

Once we entered the auditorium, we were given U.S. flags which we all waved once the Oath was read:



We then sang the National Anthem (which I never sang so proudly before) and recited the pledge of allegiance. I'm sad to say that many, many people around me didn't know the words to either ... but I'm not the one who calls the shots on who gets to become a citizen and who doesn't. All I can say is that I know the words to both and recited them loudly and proudly! Following this, we saw a video of President Obama welcoming us as Citizens of the U.S.



After all that, our official certificates proclaiming that we were U.S. Citizens where handed to us:



My story to get here is something out of a movie - a type of Sundance-nominated indie film. Not many people know it but suffice to say that this moment captured in the last picture above is a culmination of years and generations of sacrifice. And I'm happy to say that I'm one of the few people in my family who can claim to have the prestigious title of U.S. Citizen (out of over 60 family members, five of us are citizens of the United States). And I don't feel that I'm cheating my country (the U.S.) by becoming a citizen later in life, because I know that I'm a model citizen, with hopes and dreams, and one who works honestly and who works hard. I know my country's history, its language, symbols and customs more than I know that of Chile's, the country of my birth.

I've never been so proud to be an American and I've never been more accepting of leaving my Chilean citizenship behind. For years, I completely associated myself with being Chilean, even when I had been a permanent resident of the U.S. for years and years. Now I know that any success I find here in Chile will be directly attributed to the successes I had in the U.S. I got into one of the best business schools in Chile - why? I'm willing to bet it has to do with my U.S based work experience and education. After all, that's what sets me apart here in Chile... so nothing short of a FAT thank you is appropriate for the U.S.

And as much as it means the world to me to be a citizen of the United States, it means more to me that my children will, by default, also be U.S. Citizens. The opportunities I can extend to them because of all this are priceless. No matter where we live, I will teach them to be proud of their heritage, both Chilean and American. I will teach them to strive for that American Dream, just as I was taught to do many years ago... the same striving that has brought me much happiness and success today.

Labels: 2010, Citizenship, resolutions