Hey, did you guys know that for the next ten days it's USA week at your local Jumbo? I, for one, did not get the memo from the U.S. Embassy here in Santiago and it's a good thing that we subscribe to "El Mercurio" (Chile's leading newspaper) on the weekends, otherwise, how would I have known?? Thankfully, upon opening today's paper, the following circular slipped out, alerting me to the fact that between July 8 - 18, it's USA Week at Jumbo.



Obviously my curiosity was piqued and so I took a gander.

Now, maybe I'm alone when I say this, but I'm always happy when I go to my local Jumbo and see products I recognize from back home. Simple things like Snickers bars or Top Ramen soup make me really happy. It's nice to see brands and logos I know and love in a sea of those that I can't tell you much about. I know that Campbell's is "Mmmm, mmm, good" but not sure what Maggi soups are ... as a result, I don't get the same cozy, warm fuzzy feeling about Maggi as I do about Campbell's soups. This goes for all brands in Chile - since I didn't grow up here, they mean nothing to me on a personal level. Therefore I'm a marketers nightmare -OR- I'm a consumer a marketer disregards completely because I'm a lost cause. How can a consumer associate feelings with particular brands if they did not grow up seeing these brands and the publicity around them?

Which is why, from a marketing point of view, I have to commend Jumbo for reaching out to the American population that is constantly expanding here in Santiago. Even the cover of this circular speaks to us because an African American woman (or perhaps AA decent) is depicted on the cover - something we Americans completely regard as natural even though the majority of the people who live in the U.S. are not of African American decent. In all areas of marketing in the U.S. it's important for companies and brands to make sure to be "equal opportunity" and to do the best they can to depict the melting pot that is the population at large in the 50 States. [Of course one can argue that if a company or brand fails to do this in their promotions, they can be targeted as "racist" and well, that would be a PR nightmare for any business.] In general, Chilean advertising never depicts people of darker color. First because Chileans don't associate with that and further, don't aspire to that (perhaps the main reason why most models in advertisements are blonde) and second, Chileans are pretty homogeneous in their looks and simply put, there aren't many dark skinned people walking around the country. Therefore, I'm concluding that this woman was used on the cover to specifically speak to Americans in Santiago.

On a similar note, perhaps it's that Jumbo is advertising to those who aspire to all things American. After all, this country definitely looks north for trends and success stories, so why not harness that attention and promote food from the U.S.? Whatever the motivation for this focus on our food, the bottom line is that somehow, with someone, this promotion must mean mad money to Jumbo.

So what's being advertised in the circular?

"Productos Exclusivos" (exclusive products) for the most part and many of them brands I don't even recognize! I realized that perhaps the reason for this is because Jumbo (or Cencosud, owners of the Jumbo supermarket chains) have an exclusive agreement with Food Export Association of the Midwest USA, a non-profit organization that promotes the export of food and agricultural products from the midwestern region of the United States. That probably explains why the peanut butter being advertised is "Algood" and the maple syrup is "Shur Fine." I'm from California, so my main thought is "where's the Jiffy and the Aunt Jemima?" I've never been to the Midwest so can't attest anything about these brands, but one thing's for sure: beggars can't be choosers and I'd much rather have the choice between chunky and creamy peanut butter versus no peanut butter at all. Even if that means consuming Kmart's Blue Light Special private label or whatever unknown brands are being imported. Call me crazy.

But that's the key thing to keep in mind, right? Beggars (as in me) can't be choosers. I'm in a strange land with strange food and labels (most yummy though, I will admit) and if I can find pancake mix, cranberry juice (trust me, it's no picnic trying to find cranberry anything here) or root beer, I'll disregard the relatively unknown label in lieu of having a small slice of home in my Chilean refrigerator.

In any case, hats off to Jumbo for embracing their American population and those who favor all things American. Yeah USA Week is a little late since 4th of July was LAST weekend but hey, I'll take it. Plus it helps promote the food that's manufactured and grown there. That's a nice thought considering how much food we import ourselves from Chile and Mexico. So, thank you Jumbo. I may not be changing my shopping habits all that much, but I'm happy to see some peanut butter and Ocean's Spray cranberry juice all up in here:



Some good ol' American style stuffing:



But find it really, really funny that on the page advertising American sodas, A&W Root Beer (#4) is promoted as "Cerveza sin alcohol Root Beer." Or non-alcoholic beer Root Beer.


I guess it's better to be safe than sorry. We wouldn't want people purchasing the root beer and thinking they can get a buzz off drinking several cans of it. That would be false advertising for those who don't get that the "beer" doesn't really mean beer. Oh Chile... don't ever be so funny and fabulous in your advertising!

Labels: Everyday life, expats, Jumbo

I'm more analytical than I give myself credit for and in the recent weeks I've been analyzing my current state of affairs as my one-year anniversary of arriving in Chile is quickly approaching.

I think my feelings on the matter can best be described by the original trailer to the movie "Lost In Translation." I'll give you a minute or so to check it out below.



Incidentally, I've been to Tokyo and aside from being FABULOUS it really IS how it's depicted in the movie. The thing being that the movie is focused on two different (or similar) reactions to that environment.

Anyway, the case in point isn't about Tokyo but about my identity crisis in this new chapter of my life. For as long as I can remember, this was the trailer to me:

"Andrea who is originally from Chile, works in anime and is on a mission from God to find THE ONE. Andrea fills her time and space with reading historical fiction and US Weeklys, hanging out with friends, traveling for work and engaging in spontaneous bouts of physical activity otherwise known as cardio excercise. She likes to dabble in drinking wine and playing computer games and is a big fan of greek yogurt. She owns more jeans than she has time to wear and looks forward to baseball season so she can watch games in the sun with her friends (using the term 'watch' loosely). She routinely hosts movie nights and girls' night at her cute, albeit small, apartment. Her cooking skills cover a variety of salads, mostly consisting of lettuce and avocado, with a generous gob of minced Dungeness crab. Andrea has questionable opinions towards all things Mormon and all things ordinary."

This little paragraph pretty much summed up who I was for a big part of my life and in comparison, my life now looks NOTHING like said points mentioned above.

The trailer for "Lost in Translation" stated in the beginning "Bob is lost." In this case:
"Andrea is lost as she begins to come to terms with what it means to live her life in another country. Andrea is new to being a wife and suddenly finds herself in charge of a home where two, sometimes four people dwell. She owns a dog who recently chewed up one of her two pairs of high heeled black boots - she is the master disciplinarian. She's also balancing her career working remotely for a company based abroad, all the while managing her humbling grades in Graduate School. All this grouped with trying to cement bonds and friendships with other women living the Expat life as well. Andrea spends the majority of her days completely alone, reaching out to the world via social online mediums, something she never did before back home. Old Andrea - meet new Andrea."

I'm learning about being a wife, a "dueña de casa" (verbatim, "owner of a home" which has more do with running and creating a home vs fiscally owning a home), being a pet owner, doing my job well but knowing that eventually I'll need to have a secure job locally if I'm ever going to establish my career whole-heartedly here, branching out, learning how to maneuver myself in this city, so on and so on. All of this is grossly misaligned with what I knew of me before so to me, it's no wonder that I'm in this perpetual state of crisis with regards to my identity.

In "Lost in Translation," the character Bob (Bill Murray) asks the character Charlotte (Scarlett Johansson) "What do you do?" to which she replies "I'm not sure yet actually" and later, in a different scene, she tells Bob "I just don't know what I'm supposed to be."

Chile is full of nuances, bureaucracy, crime, traditions and social norms - things that can make anyone's head spin even before they have to come to terms with all of a sudden being a wife and "mom" to a six month old dog in a foreign country where no one seems to understand where you're coming from. As such, it's pretty hard to determine what one is "supposed to be" at any given point. Shying away from the ordinary and in a land where a) being different isn't rewarded and b) being different isn't something easily accessible, you find yourself wondering where your path is and how you walk down it at your own rhythm once you've determined said path.

But "the good news is, the whiskey works" to quote the trailer/movie again. And in my case here and now, the whiskey is all things that make being here better than being there... the whiskey is all that stuff that nudges me and says "Hellooooo, remember this?" After all, as much as I loved my single life and LOVED my old apartment, the fact of the matter was that it was lonely on many occasions and even then I had days when I'd be home alone and talked to no one ... the bad news being that I didn't have the reality of G walking in through the door and sharing the evening with me. And if there's ever one common denominator in the field where all that's good belongs, it's G.

In summary, am I having an identity crisis? Yeah, I think I am. I'm in this strange land with its strange customs, where I don't know tit from tat and on top of that I'm all of a sudden a "housewife" in more ways than I care to recognize. Simply put, the housewife bit is not the gig I was thinking I'd have this time in life and I'm fighting it with blood, sweat and tears. The wife part I like - something one can definitely get used to, but this is also a learning curve. I'm attempting to introduce old Andrea to new Andrea ...one's lost and one's found. Both are versions of me that I know and love, though the former one is that which I've known for a lifetime minus the last year.

In the end it's the environment, where I am, what I do and who I surround myself with that's changed. I don't recognize the usual suspects because the usual suspects are played by completely different people now. It's on me to get with it and adapt already. I have yet to learn to identify with my new roles in my new world. This is the main reason for said identity crisis I'm proclaiming. In the end, I imagine it happens to others who find themselves in warp speed towards another chapter in life ... or is that just the new Andrea wishful thinking?

I have faith in the final thought in the "Lost in Translation" trailer above ... "Sometimes you have to go halfway around the world, to come full circle."

Labels: Everyday life, expats, world domination

Back in February, my friend Kyle posted the most offensive blog I've read thus far this year! Actually, as you'll see, it wasn't really HER sentiments that offended but rather, the sentiments of random weirdos who contact her via her blog (unfortunately one of the pitfalls of blogging is that you're "out there" in the cyber world and anyone, anywhere can contact you to say pretty much anything). In short, her blog post contains clips of emails she received from certain people stating how the only reason any Chilean man would consider dating an American girl would be for "purely sexual reasons." And that mostly, Chileans want to "try Gringas" in the same way, he states, that one would want to test drive a new model car. Then there's the mention that only women who have zero luck in the States run off to South America to try their hand at love, but that too will backfire since men here treat women pretty much the same way they did in the 1800s. Pretty much at ANY moment the "true colors" of Chilean men will come out and WHAM, SLAP, BAM! Abusive husbands!

Don't believe me? Click on the link and read her blog for yourself then get back to me (or her) about how appalled you are. (If you aren't appalled, step away from the computer and away from my blog.)

In 8 days I'm going to be married and as I'm writing my vows (or attempting to do so because I'm failing miserably) every so often I've remembered this particular blog entry and now I'm seriously thinking of each and every Chilean man I've met who has married a non-Chilean woman - my own Chilean man as well - and what motivates them to marry us or have a serious relationship with us. And as far as I can tell, neither the man nor the woman in each scenario is anything less than awesome in their own right.

I'll speak of the women first since as a woman, I've got more material. To begin with, I don't know a single non-Chilean woman who lives here that has come "running" from her home country in order to desperately find love here in Chile. Having made the move from the US to Chile less than a year ago, I can attest that there is no such thing as merely "running to" Chile. It's not easy for us here, even if we have found love! Some American women I've met don't even speak Spanish fluently yet they still manage to make their lives as best they can here. These type of women, in general, are not those who run away from something but in my opinion, run towards something!

In my own experience I believe that the women I've met here, myself included, are courageous women who have their head on straight and who know what they want and who go after it. We're not the kind of women who sit around and cry "woe is me" about having a long distance love, but who pick up and go to see where destiny and fate take us. Further, many of these women initially came to Chile on study abroad programs when they were very, very young - even before love was ever an option in Chile! They left their comfy college surroundings, the light fare of everyday (or every other day) partying to trek to this land at the end of the world and to live with a random Chilean family (random at the time, mind you.) Hello - guts!!! Excuse me, but I know very few Chilean women - or women in general - who have done something like that.

In addition, these women all have jobs here and many are on the road to long-term careers. They've made friends, maneuvered their way through bureaucracy (and trust me, Chile has lots) and on top of that, we constantly prove ourselves to the fellow Chileans to counter any pre-conceived notion they may have about Gringas. Whatever that may be, we have to constantly fight to have them remove those stigmas from their minds and to look at US as individuals, not as part of a whole.

In short, the non-Chilean woman who finds herself in this narrow country next to a Chilean man is NOT weak-willed or running away or insecure or shy. We're not full of issues that can "explain" why we're here in the first place and we're not the kind of women who will conform to what any society or culture says of us and how things "should" be. At least, this is my view of the women - myself included - I see. I see go-getters; I see strong-willed; I see adapting; I see adventurous; I see respectful; I see women who literally go to the ends of the Earth for love... And I'm sorry, but Chilean women do NOT hold the official, exclusive license on these attributes (don't mind me and my unabashed use of work-speak!)

So then I ask you (particularly those dumb asses who posted on Kyle's blog), what kind of Chilean man marries such a woman?

A ROCK STAR Chilean man, that's who.

The man who prefers a strong, unique, adventurous, determined, committed and hard-working woman is not the kind of man who would even be interested in dominating such a woman! The man next to us is just as strong, just as determined and takes pride in having a partner he can be on par with.

What if I were so bold, so controversial so as to say that the man who chooses to be with a Gringa isn't interested in Chilean women in the first place? I say this because I take G as an example who was once married to the quintessential Chilean woman back when he himself was SO NOT who he is today. And today, as a bad ass in his career, a guy who has his act together, confident and engaging he tells me that in general (GENERAL, people) Chilean women as partners bore him. Hello!!! BORE HIM. Then again, my Chilean guy is SO NOT typical, it only makes sense that he and I are together. In fact, we're so made for each other, we first determine what is standard or "envasado" and we request the exact opposite - almost always.

In the end, there are all kinds of women out there, Chilean and not, as is the case with men.

But being 8 days away from getting married, I'm happy to conclude that the kind of man who marries this Gringa is - simply put - amazing. What makes him unique is that he loves me for the bizarre mix of customs I myself am. Being "American" but with "Chilean" ancestry and family, I'm a smorgasbord of characteristics and ideologies (some good, some annoying) and regardless of being Gringa or Chilean or what have you, he makes me always want to be a better version of me.

Here's hoping I do the same for him!

Labels: appalled, expats, G

The other day I went with a friend to meet a girl who will be moving to Chile later in the year. This girl is currently finishing her studies and is visiting her fiancee in Chile at the moment on a trip that is just about to end. She had been invited to my Chilean bday celebration on Tuesday but given that it's her last week here, she politely declined. The next day when I touched base with her about meeting up for coffee before she left Chile, she apologized for not being able to go, stating that since it was her last week here, she wanted to fully enjoy her time with her fiancee.

All I could think was: "Sister, you're preaching to the choir."

Since that exchange, I've been thinking about what gringas with Chilean significant others have in common. Sure, we have many, many ties that bind given our similar life situations (in most cases) but what really hits home with me is the passionate, all-consuming, one extreme-to-the-next kind of relationship that exists between a gringa and her Chilean sig other during the time we live apart. It's a far less extreme version of what I merely imagine military wives go through. Of course our version is comparable to a walk in a rose garden considering military wives say goodbye for months on end and live IN FEAR that their husbands/boyfriends won't return! ... yes of course, our version of long-distance-relationships is much rosier.

However while we're living it, it truly feels like nothing in the world is more painful, more unfair or more never-ending than the constant goodbye's we have to endure. You basically live your life not from day-to-day but rather, from one visit to the next. It's like deciding to sleep through two, three, four months between and you finally wake up for about a week's worth of time, just to go back to your zombie like state following the torturous, heart-wrenching goodbye (done at the airport).

Oh, the goodbye at the airport. If I EVER have to go through one of those again, shoot me first. I can't tell you how many times the crew at SFO and SCL saw me bawling, waiting until the very last second to cross immigration (in Santiago) or leave through the sliding glass doors (in San Francisco). Memories of sitting on the plane, crying and crying and crying and just thinking "Get up, get up right now and screw it all, just go be with him."

The sad reality of life apart was this: I'd get back home after having been in Chile (or was left alone after he'd come to San Francisco), a happy, busy and idealistic time with G, quickly followed by about three days of depression. Crawling into bed, either eating too much or eating too little, watching sad movies worthy of wrist-slitting (think P.S. I Love You.) We'd talk constantly, excessively, as if I couldn't get from one minute to the next without having him on the line. Yes, from here it sounds a little Lifetime movie dramatic but it was just like that. Empty, painful and all consuming. Then, as if in auto mode, I would just ... deal. I would wake up, get ready for work, commute, work, eat, happy hour, go home, sleep, repeat (happy hour was replaced by gym or going straight home on other nights. Of course a session of Skype with G was a must, no matter what I did after work.) We just learned to deal with the emptiness, the missing and longing, the loneliness and the monotony of living your life as if single. And that's one of the worst parts too. You have this person who is THE person, THE love of your life, THE ONE ... and yet, you're apart. So you go everywhere alone and worse, people just keep seeing you as you, alone.

And then... the day you've been waiting for FOR MONTHS ON END, finally arrives and you are once again reunited ... but then ... it's weird. It's almost like you need a day or two to readjust to having this person LIVE, right there next to you. I remember being so shy and nervous when I was finally with G again and would jokingly say "Um I need you behind a screen so I can be myself." Well, it was half jokingly really, which now that I think of it, is so sad! But it makes sense since we spent more time apart than we did together and though this made it so easy to really get to know each other, it made for actual together time awkward in the beginning!

Well, we know how my personal story with G ends in the anecdote unfolded above (happily), but the point is that in discussing our gringa stories with one another we all have the following common denominators:

- having our hearts ripped out (at the airport) when one trip came to an end
- moving along our daily life (apart) in auto mode
- relying on all forms of technology to keep our relationships alive
- having the in-between dates from one trip to another go by in a blur and only focusing on the next time we'd be together
- living momentary awkwardness when we were finally reunited
- having the most amazing time of our lives with the person we love fit into just a mere few days (or if we were lucky, a few weeks!)

Repeat.

And I'd like to take this opportunity to say: when the time comes to end that sad cycle of living apart and coming together, it takes one bold and bad-ass gringa to pick up and move to another country in search of life, laughs and adventure next to the man she loves.

But that, folks, is a story for another time.

Labels: expats, LDRs

I literally just spent about an hour freaking out on skype with Gonzalo about not being able to find "American" friends in Chile...what if I NEVER find someone who GETS "I totally paused" or "I can't believe this, they f*^king forgot my birthday?" Call me crazy, but this kind of understanding among my social networks is CRUCIAL to me.

Labels: apartment, expats, move