Notes from Underneath

I love you

2010-11-20T19:16:00.002-03:00

Hi.

I love you and the fact that you read me.

But I'm done here and want to invite you here.

It's not about being an expat but it's about being me (either a bitchy version of me or a lame version of me.) If you come on over, thanks!

If not, then might I suggest you do what I do. Once I finish a book and/or movie, I go back to the beginning and start again. It's nothing short of genius and I highly recommend it.

Bye.

The end of another "era"

2010-11-15T09:16:00.003-03:00

On Friday, I posted the following on my Twitter account: "Auto reply stating I no longer work 'there' is set and in full effect. Pretty much an era (career-wise) is over. Crazy."

An end of an era for sure. I spent almost seven years working for a Japanese- American company and selling the rights to our library of Japanese animation to various partners around the world. It was a good time and I learned quite a lot about brand management and life cycle, negotiations, selling, customer relationships and planning ahead. But as I mentioned before, there were lots of reasons why I decided to make the move to find a job here in Chile and though I'm starting to get really nervous about my first day at a new job, I still feel it was the best decision I could have made.

Then I started thinking about another said "era" that's come to an end and that's the written story about the California bred girl who moved to Chile to marry the love of her life.

In other words, this blog.

I'm not sure I have any more to say about my transition to Chile, my adaptation and my journey navigating this wicked system. I realize that anything else I have to say about life here has already been said - and quite well - in so many other blogs by expats who live here as well. These men and women continue to do an exceedingly amazing job about describing the life, culture and everyday of living here. (One has even written a book for the Kindle!) So much so, that I turn to their blogs for information and perspectives from a fellow gringos. Sure, my perspective might differ and sure, there are probably people out there who want to read about that (I think), but I feel that I wrote about all I wanted to write about with regards to my move and my life here in the first 18 months.

In making this decision, I looked back and thought about everything I wrote in the past and I think I did a pretty decent job of chronicling what it's like to move from the U.S. to Chile and organizing the pieces of your life here and there. I covered:

- how I met my husband (why on Earth I moved here in the first place)

- leaving California

- opening a bank account

- making new friends

- missing old friends

- planning a wedding

- becoming a U.S. citizen

- getting a dog

- getting married

- Chilean nuances and idiosyncrasies, such as staring and opinions on responsible pet ownership (to name a few)

- dealing with my husband's wicked ex

- starting a post graduate program at a Chilean university

- the process of finding a job

- everyday things such are supermarkets Jumbo and Lider

And of course, many many other things.

The whole purpose of this blog was to write about my new life here and now that I look back I feel content that I've done just that. Anything else after this post isn't really about an expat living in Chile. Maybe to an extent it might be, but it wouldn't be my main message. I think that anything after requires a whole new blog, something with a broader scope and something that would allow me to write more than just about my day-to-day (in the end, how interesting could that be?).

The reality is that my observations about Chilean life as an expat aren't all that interesting nor are they revolutionary. Yet I bet that if I dig deep down into my bag of tricks, I can come up with something far more brilliant than what I've concluded here. That's not to say I'm not sad about leaving my first blog behind. Part of me wonders if I'm copping out prematurely. But then I think, what the hell is left to say about being a Gringa who moves to Chile and adjusts to life here?

This blog had a life cycle and an expiration date from the start. And by no means do I plan to overstay its welcome. Even so, I'll never stop writing and it may be that I'll never stop blogging (at present, tbd of course). But in this age of constant online sharing and TMI of one another's life, I offer the loyal followers out there an invitation to 1) join Twitter and 2) follow me there. There happens to be an inverse correlation between my blogging and my Twitter use.

What can I say? Maybe micro blogging's my new thing...

Work and travel, travel and work

2010-10-30T00:30:00.019-03:00

My husband's a busy guy. On top of that, he actually loves to work. So when it came time to plan yet another business trip to China to attend the Canton Fair, he went full throttle and built his agenda to include back-to-back meetings with suppliers, as well as back-to-back viewings of showrooms, booths and, in some cases, even factories. Meaning that even though he'll be in China (including fabulously sophisticated Hong Kong) for two weekends, he's left himself absolutely no time to sightsee, let alone rest.

Such a 180 from my days of international business travel. There were many times when I found myself working over the weekend and I've most certainly had my share of working on major holidays. Running from one meeting to another, schmoozing and negotiating from one client to the next, waking up at 6 am and going to bed at 1 am, and in between sitting in absurd Latin American traffic for hours on end. But despite this, I always found time to dabble in the sights, sounds, food and culture of the different countries where I had the privilege to do business. In fact, even my superiors were ok with mixing business with cultural expansion. Maybe it had to do with the fact that in knowing the culture, we were learning how to sell and market to said culture. Whatever the real reason (maybe we were all just slackers?) I'm thankful that I had the opportunity to travel for work for a good part of my career. Moreover, I'm in eternal debt to those who sidelined slave work for a moment and who shared the experience of being tourists with me, if only for a few hours.

Coworker and me on the beach in Cannes, France.

At Monserrate, a Church overlooking Bogota, Colombia.

Banderitas Mexicanas ... yes, that's Tequila and yes it was lunch time.

Well hello, Louvre!

Intersection outside the Shibuya station in Tokyo, quite possibly the most
congested pedestrian crossing in the world.

I see you Cristo Redentor!

And a dabble here and there in Leblon.

Hey, I know you!

Viva LV! I started with US$15 at the roulette table and proceeded to win US$420.

Traveling for work might seem 100% fabulous to those whose job doesn't require them to travel. I agree. To a certain extent it IS fabulous. But it's more like 20% fabulous, 50% stressful, 30% exhausting. The kind of exhaustion you just don't recognize in your day-to-day life because when you're at home you usually aren't trying to adapt to different cultures, languages, business etiquette and so on. When traveling for work, you have to be on your toes, 100% of the time. Even sleeping isn't necessarily all that great since half the time the hotel bed is a lumpy ol' mess, no matter how fancy the hotel.

I hope that G finds a balance during his million-hour stay in China and that he comes back telling me about something amazing he saw, ate or did while he was there. So far, I've heard some stories but unfortunately they're all still related to work. I guess it's a good thing I'm not there with him right now ... I'm not sure he'd really get the work done that he's expecting of himself.

Actually, I'm pretty sure that if I ever traveled with him for work, I'd be the rotten apple, bad influence, Chileans-Gone-Wild instigator of the trip. As depicted below:

Downtime during a layover in Sydney before heading off to China (about three years ago.)

My version of downtime (business trip in Buenos Aires, night before heading home) About 2 years ago.

Strange things are afoot at Dario Urzua*

2010-10-27T19:43:00.005-03:00

Holy son of a motherless goat.

I just had the weirdest experience with the world outside of my apartment.

When I stepped into the elevator to take Obi outside for his evening stroll, I found this flier taped to the elevator wall:

It's a call to prayer to the entire "community" (i.e. building) in honor of the "Month of Mary." Said call to prayer is taking place ALL MONTH LONG in November, starting November 8th, Monday to Friday from 7:30 - 8:00 pm.

It was like a Twilight Zone version of the fliers one sees in college dorms. Specifically the dorm where the characters in the movie Saved! would eventually go to college. A call to prayer? All month long? I'm officially freaked out.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not freaked out by the notion of praying during the month of Mary (though I AM confused because as a former Catholic school student, I'm pretty sure the month of Mary is in May, not November.) What bothers me most about this is the invasion! In fact, I immediately got off the elevator and demanded to the front desk person "What if I'm Jewish?!" He answered that it wasn't obligatory. Um, well then ... this building has THAT going for it in that we aren't all forced into month-long prayer with our fellow neighbors.

But seriously, if this were the U.S., this would be so unacceptable, it would border on illegal. In fact, I imagine that in the U.S. the buildings need to first reach consensus to allow such a thing to take place and furthermore, if we were going to be issuing a call to prayer during the month of Mary, we'd certainly have to organize the blowing of the shofar during Rosh Hashanah AND invite everyone to the Iftar meal when Ramadan ends.

I can't put a finger on why I am so bothered by this but I can describe it as a feeling of invasion and it angers me that a few in the building would feel at liberty to air that in public, in the apartment building where my home is located, without so much as a single thought of concern for anyone else. Why are these few allowed to impose their will on the rest of us who live here? What if I put up fliers stating the Top 10 things that annoyed me about my neighbors each week? Am I free to do that just as they are free to put this flier in each elevator? What's next? Will I find a rosary and a monthly Missal in my mailbox? "Oh you know, just because!"

What do you think? Am I being overly sensitive or does this reek of imposition?

Oh and the other gnarly thing I had to witness while I was outside was a taxi driver relieving himself on one of the tree trunks of our quaint tree-lined street. Sweet.

Stay classy, Santiaguinos.

[*Dario Urzua is the name of the street I live on.]

Landing a job in Chile

2010-10-27T17:13:00.000-03:00

We all need our lessons in humility; it's good for the soul and puts hair on our chest. Though I've never been the kind of person who's too big for her britches (in fact, I generally need a dose of self confidence more often than not) there are some aspects of my life that I tend to regard with a level of self assurance. In the past this has namely involved my career and my professional accomplishments. I generally felt secure in what I could do and what I could offer and never doubted for a minute that I could keep accomplishing one thing after another.

This outlook was immediately readjusted when I began looking for a job here in Chile in May of this year and I have since then learned a great deal about the job search process in my new home, all the while learning to reassess my strengths and weaknesses in relation to my career objectives. This year has already been chalk full of lessons in humility and picking myself back up again, rejection after rejection.

Let me rewind and clarify that during this process I've been fortunate enough to continue working for the company that employed me back in California, something I've referenced on a few occasions in this blog. I'll always maintain that I am beyond grateful to this company for the opportunities they extended to me, including the possibility to work remotely when I moved to a foreign land (i.e. Chile) so that I could marry and be with the love of my life. I'm sure this sentiment of gratitude will not waver. What unfortunately did waver back in May was my sense of stability when, due to the economic downturn and other reasons I'm sure I'm not familiar with, the company I work for downsized. Suddenly I was in the dark and had no idea if I had a job, who was left at the company or even who would be my new boss (sadly, my former boss was let go.) Ultimately following the massive changes that took place, a level of normalcy was once again reached and I learned that I indeed continued to have a job, (thank God). However that feeling of uncertainty didn't waver. In fact it began to consume me - how much longer would I have a job? What if the business in Latin America doesn't grow? What if this market becomes completely incapable of generating income? What if they move the management of the territories in-house? In plain English I realized just how fragile my situation was and though I had years of experience working with the Latin American teams, I realized that in the blink of an eye, anything and everything could change, JUST AS IT HAD FOR MY COWORKERS WHO WERE NO LONGER THERE.

There is no sure-fire way to guarantee job security. G and I discussed that his situation was just as fragile as anyone else's and he's fortunate enough to head a department at his company. True, no matter the situation, I could never be guaranteed a job for an unlimited amount of time. However, I rationalized that I could help the cause by securing a job here in Chile. That way, should the worst case scenario someday catch up with me (i.e. unemployment) I would at least have Chilean work experience under my belt. So it was decided and the Chilean job search began.

Nothing could have prepared me for what I was going to face when looking for a job here in Chile.

I've used this anecdote on various occasions when describing the general process here in Chile. Take, for example, a fruit stand in search for a tomato seller (yes, someone who sells tomatoes.) The fruit stand will post an ad that specifically asks for candidates with tomato selling experience. They will ask that this candidate have a degree in Botany, specifically with emphasis in Pomology. They will stress the importance of having graduated from X, Y or Z university and they will punctuate their need for someone with experience selling in fruit stands. As a candidate, you will be overlooked if you don't have experience with tomatoes. Yes, you may have experience with lettuce but hello moron - a lettuce is NOT a tomato! And forget about applying with experience in bananas - banana's aren't even ROUND! How could the two possibly translate? How could you know ANYTHING about selling round products when your bag of tricks only contains banana experience? You also need not apply if you happen to fill the tomato selling requirement but have only done so in supermarkets. What part of fruit stand did you NOT understand? Oh you have a degree in Pedology? Yeah, that won't do.

[I have a real life example to offer you in lieu of this fictional anecdote: G and I were passing by a Chinese restaurant the other day and outside, there were various "wanted" posts offering employment with the said restaurant. One of the posts read "Looking for a server with experience waiting tables. Must have experience in Chinese restaurants." Chinese restaurant. Not Italian, not French, not Japanese. Chinese. Otherwise, move along.]

Once you are able to find something that somewhat fits your work experience (tomatoes!!) and education, the next step involves the Headhunter. This is the team (or person) that places the ad for the company and proceeds to do the narrowing down of candidates. Narrowing down means calling you in (once your resume and experience has been screened, of course) and asking you the typical questions one expects of a job interview. The frustrating part is that the Headhunter doesn't work at the company you're applying with and usually has a very top-line idea of what the position involves and demands. Further, many times the Headhunter won't even tell you what company you're being reviewed for until your 2nd meeting with them. It's happened to me on various occasions that I've gone in, met with the Headhunter, didn't satisfy and to this day I have no idea who the companies were that were looking to hire! In the off chance that you pass the Headhunters screening and you make it to the actual company for interviews, expect a series of interviews (something like 2-4). Also expect, in many cases, having to prepare a case study related to the position you're applying for (as was my case with the searches I was involved in.) One thing is certain: of all the resumes the Headhunter receives for any particular opening, in general, only 3 candidates pass on to the company itself for further interviewing. So if you make it to that, congrats! You at least beat out a plethora of candidates before you! Note that if you're a woman, you'll most likely the ONLY woman passing on to the next level. Rarely have I found myself in the top 3 with another female.

During the interviews, they want to know everything - literally EVERYTHING - about what you did, what you've done, what you want to do and how you do it. They want to know about your significant other and they want to know what you do in your free time. They want to know where you see yourself in five years and they want to know what your supervisor would say about you and your working style. They want you to take them through your typical day at work and they want to hear about a time when you faced confrontation and how you approached it. In my case they've wanted to know how I would feel working with a team, outside my home, adhering to "office hours." They also wanted to be sure that I was here to stay and not about to hop a plane back to CA at the drop of a hat. And finally, one of the most shocking things they want to know about you as a woman is if you're thinking of popping out any kids some time soon ... if so, that could immediately disqualify you as a potential candidate.

Somewhere along the lines, either before making it to the company itself for interviews or shortly thereafter, comes the biggest twist of all when it comes to interviewing for jobs here: the psychological assessment. Otherwise known as the "B*tch-better-not-be-crazy" test. I've been scrutinized, analyzed and prodded with inkblots ("tell me what you see here, first thing that comes to mind"); color selection ("of these eight options what's your favorite color? Next favorite? After that? Next favorite? What's your least favorite?"); drawings ("draw a picture of a person in the rain"); handwriting analysis ("write a letter about anything you want") and finally, S.A.T. style logic tests that serve to give an indication of your math and problem-solving skills. Needless to say, in the last six months I've become a guru of psychological tests.

The verdict is still out on whether or not I'm crazy. However, I'm happy to share that despite the difficult selection process, the daunting psychological exams, the torturous waiting game and the devastation of defeat, I've finally landed a job here in Chile - after six months of searching. It's actually more than a job - it's definitely a career builder and an important stepping stone to whatever lies ahead for me professionally.

I've never been through so many series of frustrating events in my life. I've never worked so hard to make something happen for myself and I've never learned more about adaptation than I have with the experiences of the last few months. I've learned humility and patience as well. It took me SIX MONTHS to find something, with a few near hits along the way that ultimately didn't pan out. I had to learn how things are done in this system and I had to mold myself to fit into their processes. After all, I'm looking for a job in their market - who am I to parade around thinking that just because I'm American they should be chomping at the bits to hire me? The fact is that they aren't chomping at the bits to hire me just because I speak fluent English. Chileans are better prepared in universities than we are back home and if you add post-graduation work experience to that, they are BY FAR better candidates than many of us out there. Of course circumstances vary. One could be a recent college graduate, looking for an entry level position and entry level pay and that person may very well have a much easier time than I did. If that's the case for anyone, awesome!

Ultimately though I think that this experience taught me to truly define what it is I wanted to do with myself professionally, where I want to be now and where I want to be 5, 10 or 15 years from now. It also made me slow down and truly think about the kinds of companies I'd be best suited to work for. Where would I excel and where would my skill set be most valued? I think the wait was worth it because I learned a LOT. I'm excited about this new career opportunity, the company itself, my future role in the company and the compensation offered. Yeah I've been dragged through the mud in this process but then again, keeping my eyes on the prize turned out to be the best strategy I could have possibly adopted.

25 Random Things

2010-10-24T00:22:00.005-03:00

In March 2009, I was tagged in one of those Facebook Notes entitled "25 Random Things." I thought it was pretty cool and so I did one myself and tagged 25 friends with whom I wanted to share my own version of the list. Over a year later (tonight), since I happen to be the biggest of winners (take a gander at my previous blog entry to understand my history of uncool), I decided to clean up my Facebook page a little and once again came across my list. I'm both pleased and surprised at how true all points continue to ring, despite the time, distance and life that has marched on in the past 17 months since I first wrote them.

And so I thought I'd put them on my blog, share them with you and personally marinate in 25 random thoughts that continue to describe me and/or how I see the world around me. [Note that in this blog version, I did add a few clarifications below as noted in brackets ... ]

25 random things by Andrea Gonzalez on Friday, March 13, 2009 at 1:55am

1. 95% of people either bore me to tears or annoy me. If you're tagged, you fall within the 5% that I actually dig and feel bring some measure to this world. Nicely done.

2. I have an obsession with purses.

3. Of all my travels, by far the best food I've ever eaten has been in Tokyo.

4. I loathe the Dirty 30...my SF peeps, you KNOW WHAT I MEAN. [Bus line that runs through Downtown and Chinatown in San Francisco.]

5. I really enjoy making cupcakes. I even have a secret method. Truly, they are amazing. I might open a shop called Dre's Cupcakes (per Lauren's suggestion).

6. I hate The Gap. I kind of want to throw eggs at it. It baffles me when foreigners obsess over that dumb ass store.

7. I like 80s glam rock bands... Poison, Def Leppard, Motley Crue, Bon Jovi...you get the picture. I'm pretty sure these bands make up half my iTunes playlist.

8. US Weekly is THE BEST MAGAZINE EVER. And Time. I like that one too.

9. I never leave the house without makeup. That's just all kinds of not ok.

10. I believe my boyfriend has the best facial profile ever. If you see him, ask him to turn his head - you'll totally agree me. [Still 100% true except that this said boyfriend is now my husband.]

11. I find that watching Back to the Future over and over again is quite therapeutic.

12. I think porn is really funny.

13. In college I was known as the "grandma" among my friends. Actually this might still be the case, I'm not sure. They've gotten a lot nicer about pointing out my "Golden Girls" ways...

14. I sleep with socks on every night (per point #13)

15. I'm obsessed with Shiloh Jolie Pitt.

16. Anything romantic makes me want to laugh out loud...like setting the mood with rose petals and David Gray. Nothing is funnier than people trying too hard.

17. When I'm ready to retire, instead of knitting or playing with grandkids, I want a Harley so I can go ride with my husband. Seriously.

18. I'm getting married in a short wedding dress and red heels. [I didn't end up doing this but looking back, I should have totally stuck to this idea.]

19. I hate mainstream anything. If everyone is doing it, I want nothing to do with it. Peace out. [This holds true EXCEPT when we're talking social media.]

20. I'm obsessed with Mexican food, drinks, people... and beaches. Mexico might be close to the most perfect place on Earth.

21. I've kept a diary since I was 7 years old. I had some MAJOR problems back then. Grade school is a dog-eat-dog world...especially that one time my best friend stole my Hello Kitty pencil case. Biiiiitch.

22. I'm supposed to wear glasses everyday but I never do (have you seen me with them on? No. I rest my case.)

23. I can watch movies over and over again and never get bored. When I watch Back to the Future, I'm always stressed out that Marty won't make it back in time!! [Continues to get me every time.]

24. A glass of white wine with my boyfriend is my ideal way to end a day. [Again, my then-boyfriend is now my husband.]

25. My youngest nephew's name is Guillermo (we call him Memo sometimes) but I decided it would be funny to just call him Juanito. And will you believe that the six year old actually calls me Juanita back?? We're totally related.

The weirdo

2010-10-21T11:03:00.007-03:00

I can't remember where it was I read that one of the key elements to writing a 'tween or young adult book was to make sure you had an awkward, relatively weird, outsider kind of protagonist. This made sense to me since teenagers, especially pre-teens, are all kinds of awkward. In fact, today we needn't think any further than Twilight and its leading lady, Bella Swan, who embodies clumsy, awkward and weird all in one package. When I was younger, I used to be drawn to these kinds of characters as well. Deenie, Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, Blubber, Ramona Quimby, Age 8, and of course, Anne of Green Gables, were all books that I adored when I was younger. I'd go to the library, check them out, read them, re-read them, take them back and repeat the process the following week all over again. I loved them because each protagonist was, in a word, weird. Since I considered myself to be weird too, reading about kids who were awkward and totally different from the norm allowed me to believe that I had a posse of like martians ready to hang out with me at any given notice. Books were my escape and my entertainment, more so than television or anything else available to me (which, let's face it, was very limited). I was constantly fighting against being different and desperately tried to be "normal" like everybody else.

When we first arrived in San Francisco, I can safely say that I didn't notice that I was different. My classmates were all different too. Some were Chinese, some were Korean, some where Russian, others Italian. I had a Mexican friend and a Filipino friend and I sat behind a red-headed boy named Billy in class who was probably of Irish-decent or something. We all attended Catholic school and as such, wore uniforms to school everyday. Because of this, no one noticed if someone had "cooler" clothes and the concept of "designer" anything just wasn't our reality due to our age and our different backgrounds. Then of course there was the ONE thing many of us had in common besides this: being the first generation "Americans" growing up in a major city. When we went home, yes, some of the kids spoke English with their parents and siblings, but many of us went home and spoke a completely different language! You'd see the influences of our parents' heritage in our packed lunches which ranged from PB&J to sushi to some kind of Chinese soup that was heavy on the cabbage. Sometimes you'd go over to a friend's house and notice the traditions there: removal of shoes before walking in, eccentric, colorful art hanging on the walls, spicy cooking and the rich smells associated with it and multi-generational households that included the grandmother and sometimes even the great-grandmother! We lived in a city so many of us took the bus to school and as is the norm living in a city, many of us lived in apartments or flats, not always houses. And you know what? Because of this, I don't recall any of my school mates and/or friends having pets.

To me, all of the above foster great memories of my childhood. I wasn't weird because we were all "weird." I wasn't any different than my Korean classmate who removed her shoes before going inside her apartment and who brought sushi for lunch. Whereas I went home and spoke Spanish with my mom and ate "lentejas" for dinner, my Chinese, Mexican and Italian friends had their own traditions and day-to-day at home that greatly differed from my own. Such was the melting pot of my early years that soon took a nasty turn to dullsville Suburbia when I turned 14. It was at this age that we left San Francisco and moved to the Peninsula, 30 minutes south of the city. With this move came a change of school and a new chapter of my life that took an eternity to shake myself out of: weirdo martian from another country chapter.

From the time I was 14 to oh, about age 28 or 29, it was a constant battle to be considered part of the crowd and "normal." I moved to Edward Scissorhands town and realized that the melting pot that had been my home for as long as I could remember, was no more. I found myself in a place, in a school, in a town, where every single person was "normal" and even those of a different ethnicity were, to the naked eye, diluted. I became self conscious of the fact that my mom didn't speak English fluently. I was anguished like only a teenager can be over the fact that we didn't live in a house like everyone else did. I didn't grow up playing soccer so I immediately signed up for AYSO soccer and made a fool of myself trying to perform with non-existent skills. At 14 I had never shaved my legs because my mom never told me about it (in Chile people wax and she grew up always waxing, something she obviously thought I would do too once I was old enough.) All of a sudden I was the brown, hairy girl who moved from SF! No I didn't have Guess jeans but realized soon enough that if I was going to be anybody at the new school, I NEEDED GUESS JEANS (is 14 too young to be sporting $80 jeans, anyone, anyone?) I didn't even know about the GAP until I moved to this said Edward Scissorhand town and apparently, by the time I hit high school, it was the only option for my wardrobe. That and Eddie Bauer's flannel shirts, what with the grunge thing in full effect.

I looked around and realized something that rang true in high school, college and some time after college as well. To be popular, interesting, solicited and listened to meant that you had to somewhat blend in and only stand out in the most traditional of ways. In high school this meant that I had to be in student government (all the cool kids were in student government.) It also meant that I had to be in drama but this only lasted through my freshman year and I gladly gave it up in lieu of the school newspaper (which incidentally, wasn't "cool" by any means.) So I ran for Student Body Secretary my senior year in high school and lost to one of my classmates who was (and continues to be) Ms. Overachiever (actually now she's Dr. Overachiever). That was a blow but thankfully, since I ran for a "big" office, I was given a pity prize and co-chaired something that had to do with school clubs (my co-chair was another popular girl, known more for her work in dance and performance arts.) I didn't wear the right clothes, didn't run with the right crowd (though GOD KNOWS it wasn't for lack of trying!), didn't play the right sports, I didn't dance or do drama (which in my high school was the epitome of cool.) I did manage to break into Honors/Advanced English (again bc all the popular kids were in that class) and ONCE even pulled off the 2nd highest grade on a term paper (the highest grade went to Dr. Overachiever, I believe.) Still, I felt I had proved something to the "right" crowd.

By the time I got to college, I'd somewhat mastered the wardrobe mess I had when I first arrived at a public school and found my own style (or lack thereof). This wasn't a major issue in college for me. The major issue was once again being the one "foreign" girl in a sea of ... politely speaking, non-foreign boys and girls. Many grew up in suburbia, had a mom and a dad (dad was always a lawyer or some corporate executive and mom was most likely a school teacher) and I just had my mom. My mom who was a nanny, a great one at that, for a very successful, very wonderful family. No, there was no dad. No we didn't take vacations to Tahoe every winter and summer. No, we've never owned an SUV. What was that? Was I going to Europe after graduating college? Um, no. I guess I could have done myself a favor and NOT gone out and join a sorority which only served to remind me how different, poor, weird, and non-mainstream I really was. Instead I DID join one, proceeded to binge drink to fit in, gain 15 pounds my first year at Davis, spend money I didn't have on monthly sorority dues and pretty much drag myself through the mud trying to "be cool" and fit in with those I considered to be cool. That's not to say or imply that people weren't NICE. They were nice, actually. It's just too bad that I was so awkward about being different that they couldn't get to know me for me. It wasn't their fault, it was mine. I assumed they thought I was weird and so I took that as fact and acted accordingly to try and fix it. The irony is that people who are NOW my good friends post-college are women who 1) weren't in a sorority or 2) are the "cool" girls I wanted to impress who are more impressed with my weirdo foreignness than whoever it is I was pretending to be in college.

Life works in the kookiest of ways, really. Post-college it was through work, my career, travel and my accomplishments in the workplace that actually helped me shed all embarrassment for being different. I was given opportunities at a relatively young age that NO ONE my age had and that made me feel like a bad ass. I ended up working for a Japanese company and getting to know a culture that was a million times removed from both my own and actually LIKING and APPRECIATING it. It dawned on me that different was funky and I liked it. It also finally dawned on me that "normal" was so boring, I could die. Yawn. It helped that I was back in San Francisco (albeit for work only) and that I could once again be reminded that the melting pot existed and that I was a fabulous part of that.

The irony is this: I'm now living in Chile and again, I'm reminded with constant lucidity of how different I am. I'm a gringa in a Chilean world. I'm weird, I'm a foreigner and I'm not "normal" (what's this about wearing open-toed shoes before October??!!! Owning a Bulldog? Not partaking in "once" and checking my blind spot when I drive?) That's ok though. This time around in life I'm fine with it. I'm actually in the process of maintaining said weirdness, working off it and finding my place in this Chilean world. I'm sorry to tell you Chile, I don't plan on playing the role I once did of fitting in. This is me, foreign and awkward, take it or leave it.

2010, all eyes on Chile

2010-10-13T00:31:00.006-03:00

When I lived back home, I don't recall Chile ever being in the news (more so, editorials regarding wine and travel).

Yet in the span of one year - even less, really - Chile has been in the news twice: both reasons due to major events that catapulted us to the forefront of world news and updates.

An 8.8 earthquake and now the unprecedented rescue of 33 miners who have been trapped below ground since early August. With these two events, Chile has shown the world its strength, its integrity, its ingenuity and its perseverance.

From the bottom up, in both cases.

But this brief blog is to say, hello there Florencio. We're happy to see you up top and we look forward to seeing all your fellow miners here soon as well. Thank you Chile. Thank you God. Thank you Minister of Mining, Laurence Golborne. Thank you U.S. for the help and equipment you provided from Day 1.

You all brought tears to my eyes tonight, one amazing and unprecedented image after another.
Who's just as proud to be Chilean as she is to be American?

Overdosing on nostalgia

2010-10-12T16:18:00.004-03:00

There's something that is quite evident between Chileans who live outside of Chile, something that I too used to share with enthusiastic vigor. There is a tendency to idealize this country and recall with a deep sense of nostalgia all the memories ever created during the time spent in this narrow land. It wouldn't be fair to begin this blog immediately removing myself from this since in reality I spent the majority of my life in the exact same state of mind as those I now observe as quite nostalgic.

Growing up as "foreigners" wasn't an easy feat in the San Francisco Bay Area, especially during the early 80s when being Latin wasn't necessarily celebrated. Sure, it could have been worse (we could have been living in the middle of Kansas or Minnesota) but it took a bit before being Latin was actually celebrated. Even as I recall high school and certain "movements" by the Latino groups, this was mainly centered around Mexican-Americans, who, let's face it, far outnumbered the Chileans. As such was the case, the small close-knit group of Chileans who lived in the Bay Area had a reduced network of neighbors and peers who "got" what it meant to be Chilean and who understood firsthand all the idiosyncrasies involved with being Chilean. My thought is that the likelihood of building and sustaining nostalgia bubbles involving all things Chilean was much, much greater because the real thing was much, much farther (it's not like we could walk down the street and hit up a Chilean restaurant just like that.) Everyone who surrounded you felt the same distance, the same void, the same yearning to be closer, the same awe, the same patriotism and much, much more. The result was always the same when groups of Chileans got together: it was as if celebrating the 18th of September each and every time. Cuecas (Chile's national dance), wine, "ensalada a la chilena," a good asado produced our own little Chile no matter the occasion. - birthdays, anniversaries, marriages and even 4th of July resulted in the creation of a little Chile.

The fact that we were greatly outnumbered by Mexicans and Central Americans only perpetuated the nostalgia bubble. It was as if being the cheese that stands alone meant that it was our duty, our calling, our right, to show the world "We're Chilean, dammit! Not Mexican! We don't eat burritos!" (Actually, neither do Mexicans.) And in feeling this national pride, we tended to migrate towards others who shared like sentiments and who would join us in talking about how great Chile was or who would take the time to comment with us on the breathtaking, majestic beauty of the Andes Mountains. If we came across Chilean tourists it was if we'd been reunited with a long-lost sibling and we bombarded them with questions about "la patria" - now I realize that in acting this way, I'm sure that the visiting Chileans pretty much surrendered to the fact that Chileans who lived abroad were weirdos. We stopped at nothing, even inviting them to our homes for an "asado" because LORD KNOWS they must miss it, right? I mean, we did!

The distance between San Francisco and Santiago meant that when you took time off to vacation in Chile, you went for at least two weeks. Some people, like my mom, rarely went for less than one month. ONE MONTH of vacation, can you imagine? But people did this and no one thought anything of it. During that time, you jam packed your days traveling from north to south, to the coast and back again and made sure to visit each and every family member and friend who ever meant anything to you, even if that meant having back-to-back asados. It was great to visit, especially during summer in Chile, because the family would usually try to coordinate their vacations with yours. You can imagine the nonstop fun that resulted with a handful of people on vacation, ready to let loose, go to the beach and have themselves a whole heap of fun. You'd spend Christmas and New Year surrounded by family, enjoying the hot weather, eating, drinking, dancing and being merry. All of this was quickly compared to the cold, gray, desolate life you returned to when you went back home to the San Francisco Bay Area and of course, you quickly saw Chile as the only place in the world where you could possibly be happy.

Immediately returning from sunny, warm, family-oriented vacations, it was easy to recall the memories of a short time ago, when you were setting the table for "once" (tea time), going to the grocery store to pick out the meat for the asado in the evening, opening a bottle of red wine so that it could breathe or sitting down with a "pucho" (slang term for cigarette and no, I don't smoke) ready to discuss the latest happenings with friends or friends of friends.

I was part of all this, an active part of all this. Nothing was better than Chile. Chilean wine was better, Chilean seafood was better, the Chilean way of life, the fact that people knew how to balance work and life, the proximity you had to others, the way people knew their neighbors ... I would be in awe just standing in line at the supermarket, listening to the Chilean accents all around me. Each and every single vacation abroad was to Chile and when I returned, I'd immediately calculate when I could return again. Back home, I had an entire wall in my apartment dedicated to Chilean artisan crafts. I had a sticker on the back window of my Jetta with the Chilean flag on it. I had a notebook that I carried with me to all meetings, in SF or elsewhere, with a panoramic view of Santiago. In short, I was obsessed with my "patria" and made sure to say it loud, say it proud, every chance I had - "I'm Chilean!!!!!"

Then, I moved to Chile and began building my life here.

There are so many great things about this country, it would be unfair to say that I was completely wrong to idealize it when I lived back home. But it would also be unfair to not acknowledge that living here is considerably different than visiting. One of the first things I realized is that there really isn't a work/life balance. People work a lot and they work constantly. Vacations are usually reserved for 1-2 weeks in February and a week in August - that's it. It just so happened that when I would visit in December/January, family members would coordinate their vacations with mine. The food is good, but honestly, there is much more variety and richer tastes elsewhere - notably for me, in the U.S. Wine is amazing but then again, I miss not having the option of a California wine, New Zealand wine or Australian wine. It's just Chilean, all.the.time. Also summer here is suffocatingly hot and most of the time, you have to endure it in Santiago because an escape to the beach is 1) expensive and 2) requires reservations far in advance during the peak summer months. Also, I don't really see any difference in the way people live their lives here in that, most of the time, people go on their merry way, following the routine of their lives and rarely weaving in and out of other people's lives. In short, it's not all that neighborly as I once thought it to be. One more thing: we don't do "once." In fact, I don't even LIKE "once." There was once a time when I truly longed for it. Now I just find it utterly mundane to repeat breakfast a second time around. Finally, unfortunately enough, I take for granted the fact that my entire family is here and that, as such, I could pretty much see them more often than I ever could. If not more often, at least, much more easily than before. I'm as much of an "ingrata" (ungrateful or, in this case, absent) as everyone else in my family and because of this, we never see each other! And it's a damn shame.

When it comes to Chile and the nostalgia it promotes in Chileans who live abroad, I'm on the other side of the looking glass now. I see them and I hear them talk about Chile with a sense of longing and a sense of pride that I no longer share. I see their pictures of the September 18th celebrations that were held back home, and they enjoy it with 100% more patriotism and passion than I've seen in the two dieciochos I've spent living here. Their Chi-chi-chi, le-le-le's are louder and more heartfelt, especially compared to mine, which haven't been uttered in well over a year. When I see these people on Facebook or in person, hear them over the line or in front of me, I no longer recognize those sentiments - ones that used to define me as a person! It's like I'm looking at a picture of a great-great-great grandmother and trying desperately to find a nose-hair of resemblance.

I don't recognize myself in them, or in their sentiments anymore, and I can no longer relate.

The loaded question

2010-10-09T10:38:00.004-04:00

As I was leafing through today's El Mercurio, I came across an editorial piece entitled "¿Donde estudiaste?" or "Where did you study?" After reading the one-page article, I actually felt PLEASED (of all things!) because the author reflected what I have thought all along about this ridiculous question:

Discriminatory by defacto, this question seems to have little-to-no socially relevant objective.
Those who pose the question want nothing more than to tell YOU where THEY went to school because in their mind, something about the school is better than yours
There is no Eton-equivalent in Chile (sorry, Grange and Nido) so there is no justification for such a mundane question
In the end, most, if not all of us, are pretty much run-of-the-mill and no amount of English words in your school's name will change that

But I guess what I should do is take a step back to clarify that here in Chile, perhaps in Latin America as a whole even, the question "where did you study" does not automatically mean "From which university did you graduate?" or "Where did you attend college?" Rather, this question literally means "Where did you go from Kindergarten to 12th grade?"

The author of this article goes as far as to claim that said question is usually third or fourth in a conversation between adults who are meeting for the first time, usually following suit shortly after "What's your name," "What do you do," "Are you married/have kids?"

When I moved to Chile, this issue came up in various conversations with different groups of people. At first I found it hard to believe that anyone would care where one went to school 20, 30, even 40 years ago especially in light of the fact that most real-world experience is obtained later in life, in college and post-college. Perhaps this is why I find it more relevant to be asked where I attended college and what it is I studied there. My personal experience here in Chile has been that people don't ask me this question once they find out that I didn't grow up here. But it has been the case that I'm asked where my husband went to school. (After the snide "What do you care" crosses my mind) I answer that he grew up in the northern part of Chile and didn't move to Santiago until he was 11 and then, he attended a Catholic school in Macul (a middle/working class district of Santiago). The answer is met with "Oh" and followed by "I went to Santiago College" or "I went to Nido." At which point I make it a point not to ooooh and ahhh over said statement.

When considering where G and I would send our future kids to school here in Santiago, we discussed three fundamental factors for selection: 1) the school needs to be fully - and I do mean 100% fully - bilingual (English and Spanish), 2) the school must not be psycho heavy on religion (Catholic schools are OUT OF THE QUESTION in a dominantly Catholic society), 3) the school must have a curriculum that promotes individuality, adventure, exploration, teamwork and curiosity (in other words, I want innovative, forward thinking education. Not something that's stuck in the dark ages.) Given the above criteria - things that are FUNDAMENTAL to us - are the chances high that our kids will go to the Granges, Nidos and Santiago Colleges of this world? Maybe. Unless I found another school that will prove to support our criteria for our kids' education, it may very well be the usual suspects as contenders. Regardless, I'm not bound to any brand name school in Santiago, I'm bound to the three points above. Unfortunately (or fortunately) every adult I've met who attended one of the brand name schools of Santiago speaks pretty fluent English. Even the kids I've met who currently attend these schools are already on the road to said fluency. The fact of the matter is that in my case, English is my first language and as such, it remains a priority for me to make sure it's always spoken to a good extent in my home. Sadly, the options are limited in Santiago.

This brings me back to the author's last point of the article where he states that the answer to the infamous question does not grace the person answering with some kind of admirable quality or attribute. After all, they didn't decide where to go to school - their parents decided that FOR them. If the person did happen to attend one of the brand name schools, does that mean that the parents are worthy of all the merit? I think it depends. If they carefully looked through all possible schools that combined their fundamental educational goals for their children, and then opted for what turned-out-to-be a brand name school, then yes. If said decision was based more on status and keeping up with the Joneses, allowing the family to use the child's school as another indicator of the family's wealth (such as the car and the house), then no.

Taking that into consideration, when someone in Chile asks you where you went to school, what if they're really asking "how much money did your family have while you were growing up?" Which actually equates to asking for the family's financial statement prior to engaging someone in conversation, interviewing them for a position or, generally speaking, deciding their worth as a human being.

Our dining experiences in Santiago (Part 1)

2010-10-05T11:45:00.012-04:00

G and I were a long-distance couple for about eight months before I made the big move to Chile (You can read about the beginning of our relationship, how we met, our courtship and the proposal here.) Granted, we were lucky that our time apart didn't span years, as it does for so many other LDR couples, we still missed out on the usual day-to-day activities that come with the start of any new relationship.

Which might explain why we find ourselves going out on dinner dates quite frequently now that we live together. Of course outings are (and should be) part of every married couple's life, but it does seem like we are trying to make up for lost time considering the fact that we try to head out at least twice a week. In defense of this lavish tendency, I'd like to note that G and I figure our time for such gastronomical activities can be measured in an hourglass and what's left is less than half the sand. In addition, I tend to cook more times than we actually go out and it's refreshing to know that if we don't cook, it doesn't mean we'll starve.

Santiago has its wealth of restaurants, relative to those you'd find in Sao Paulo and Mexico City (both cities where I've eaten mind blowing, delicious food) and I also find that there seems to be a wide variety of options - diversity in their origins and applicable to any desired price range. For a country that seems to be far from hopping on the diversity bandwagon, I personally think that there are many, many options out there and the list of restaurants G and I are looking to try, grows with each new edition of "El Mercurio's" Club de Lectores list of participating restaurants (Chile's largest newspaper, "El Mercurio," has an agreement with American Express to offer card-holding subscribers, discounts at many restaurants. In our case, the cost of having the card, including the monthly subscription fee of the paper, is more than justified considering how much money we save whenever we dine at one of the participating restaurants.)

Some of the restaurants we've been to in the past few months, include:

Aquí Está Coco - recently reopened after falling victim to a fire a few years ago, a local online media outlet had it right when they stated that it reopened in "2.0" style. I'd been to the restaurant, which mainly serves fish and seafood, back in 2000/2001. The food was great and the restaurant itself had an old-world charm, literally having been gutted out and remolded from a former home that stood on Avda Concepcion in Providencia. Now, the restaurant is set to challenge the likes of La Mar in Santiago with it's modern decoration, Peruvian-fused seafood dishes and wine cellar dining option, all which offer the differentiation necessary to call out its dishes from the various seafood alternatives available in this city. Note that their pisco sour "aperitivos" are literally the size of shots but their "Ceviche Altiro" more than makes up for that lapse in judgment by the staff. I feel like their menu needs more options, but can hail an "Amen" for their MEDITERANEAN TURBOT dish, which was, in a word, A-mazing. I'm sure G and I will go back at some point, but despite having had a great experience there, I'm not sure it can be repeated. Their menu didn't scream "I'm delish" through and through. BTW, can I point out that when we went, G's Mazda 3 was the "poorest" (his word, not mine) looking car in the lot. What, with the BMWs, Benzes, Porsches, Land Rovers and what not, we felt a little like Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman" when she went to the boutique to buy a cocktail dress.

A Pinch of Pancho - I recall that this restaurant was one of the first I'd heard about when I moved here because it was highlighted as an option for "good ol' comfort food." Located at General del Canto 45, near the Manuel Montt metro, the first thing we noted about this restaurant was how the outside SO DID NOT do the inside justice. The decor is eclectic, to say the least, bright and perhaps a bit overwhelming but nonetheless very, very cool. The food is definitely "comfort" and I went ahead and ordered the ribs, something I've never done in any restaurant. I can only attribute it to a deep feeling of nostalgia for all things American. They were good, but I'm not particularly a rib fan. G ordered some kind of meat, which was also pretty tasty, but rather basic with its potato side. I think G and I decided that we wouldn't go back any time soon, not because the food wasn't good - it was - but because it wasn't really our style of food. After we left I'm sure we weighed a good 30 pounds more, combined, given the heaviness that is any and all comfort food. Still, it's nice to know that solid American-style options are available in my same comuna.

Nolita - Nolita is actually owned by the same people who own A Pinch of Pancho and as such, they seem to have consulted the same interior decorator. This time, whoever did the decorating, did so with a less exaggerated hand (lowered the uppers and upped the downers). It's located in the El Golf area of Las Condes at Isidora Goyenechea 3456 (in a neighborhood otherwise known as Sanhattan). Their specialty is their pasta, so I went ahead and ordered their lasagna, which of course, was amazing. The owners of both A Pinch of Pancho and Nolita are all about making sure their customers leave feeling like a grossly overstuffed pig sitting on King Henry the VIII's table because I don't recall actually having walked out of the restaurant. I'm pretty sure G rolled me to the car that time. As the New York Times adequately describes "the pasta dishes are rich and decadent." No sh*t. Would we go back? In a heartbeat. Would I make sure to not eat for 3 days straight prior to going? Definitely. BTW those on TripAdvisor who described this restaurant as "disappointing but edible" must have been sniffing White Out - it doesn't come close to being like that at all.

NoSo at the W Hotel - Ok, so I'm cheating a bit because I didn't technically go there with G, but rather, with my mom. This restaurant describes itself as being the meeting point of French and Mediterranean cuisine but I personally found it to be more like it was sitting on the corner of "Falling a Whole Leap Year Short of being Good" and "Ridiculously Overpriced for such Small Portions." Rather than being "succulent," it's pretentious and don't get me started on the ridiculously small portions. I don't tend to agree with my mom when she claims she should have brought her "lupa" (magnifying glass) in any given case, but this time around I agreed that we should have added my own personal lupa to the outing. That way we would have been able to see a fraction of what we were actually eating. I ordered one of the fish options and honestly, I can't recall too much about it other than it tasted overly fishy. I'm all about fish but when the fish has too much of a fish taste, I find it's rather fishy of it and the restaurant. But, it's in the W (also in Sanhattan) so of course, I'm sure it will do well no matter what I write so more power to them, I guess. Also, and this could be me being persnickety of course, but I find that the table and the way the chairs are shaped and placed, make it really awkward to hold a conversation without yelling across to the other person.

Mestizo - I was actually a super fan of this restaurant (located in Vitacura, at one end of Parque Bicentenario) until I went for about the 5th time and realized that what I'm actually a fan of is their Mero (Grouper fish), their appetizers and their pisco sour. I like when I get to the point of actually knowing what it is I particularly like about a restaurant. It saves so much time and is much more cost-effective. I'm not gonna lie. Their grilled octopus appetizer is TO DIE FOR and I could eat it until the cows come home. It's the kind of good where you want to take a piece of bread and soak up anything left on the plate - but of course, in this particular restaurant, I'm sure the Annie's would frown upon that (if they only knew what they were missing. That, and garlic). You can tell there's a lot of money invested here and besides the menu as evidence, there's the geometric shape of the actual restaurant itself. It's so random that it's as isolated as it is, literally without any other restaurants or even hotels in sight, and located instead in a very residential neighborhood, at the foot of a park. One of my favorite times there was when I went with KM during lunch, drank a little vino, people watched and ate ... salads perhaps? I can't recall but in memory of that, I'd like to highly recommend this place as a very SATC option for outdoor/trendy lunching. Also, keep to the bar if you're going for dinner - much cooler and the service is faster!

Epicúreo - Here's a restaurant I really, really like. I like it because it sticks to offering good food, low on the holier-than-thou factor other restaurants we visit tend to have. It's located outside of Patio Bellavista, right next to the Dublin Pub, on Constitucion. Though the location screams nightlife, the reality is that this restaurant is very below-the-radar in its appearance. In typical Chilean fashion, the site itself is a refurbished and remodeled former home, with wood floors and a comfortable, welcoming ambiance that seems to be both spacious and intimate, if that makes any sense. At the core, the restaurant states that its driver is the French cuisine. I can kind of see it, but not really. What I definitely CAN see is that the chef takes note of details when preparing and presenting the food and the result is pretty impressive. I had the Centolla (King Crab) black raviolis and of course, they were delish. The steamed mussel appetizers were amazing as well, as are their salads, notably their Asian option. The pisco sour is ok, nothing to write home about, BUT what lacks there is made up with a shiny gold star for outstanding service. Plus it's rather inexpensive. My mom, sister and I ate there the other night and for three main dishes and three non-alcoholic drinks we paid less than US$50, with tip included. Not too shabby.

Pasta e Vino Santiago - The original Paste e Vino is located in the hills of Valparaiso, Chile and I went with G last year when we took a quick weekend trip to Con-Con so that this California girl could get a dose of ocean. Known for their pasta and wine (obvi) this place did not disappoint. Thus, you can imagine our enthusiastic surprise when we took a wrong turn one night (coming back from Epicúreo actually) and stumbled upon The Aubrey Hotel (btw my newest hotel obsession) with its sign for Pasta e Vino. It's located at the foot of Cerro San Cristobal, at the end of Constitución in the Bellavista area of Santiago. The good thing is that it's, in three words, ridiculously good pasta. The bad thing is that half of their pasta options are gnocchi and for those of us who don't like gnocchi (G & me), this automatically reduces your pasta options by half. Furthermore, I'm not a big ol' fan of raviolis either so for me, the menu was reduced to the three remaining fettuccine options. No bother though as each one looked so tasty, I had a problem deciding. The one I settled on was a cream sauce with a taste of honey intertwined, which resulted in a medley of nectar of the gods in my mouth. It was that good. But then I found myself with the same problem I had at Nolita, in that I'm pretty sure that G rolled me out to the car. There was no way I could walk - I couldn't even finish the entire dish! Although if you go, bring a flashlight because at night, it's impossible to see what's in front of you. The servers, all of apparent different nationalities, are also a little on the slow side, though they do aim to please.

That's a little overview of our dining experiences here in Santiago - very subjective and not at all to be taken as the bible of culinary experiences. In fact, it's not even representative of what Chile, as a country and culture, is truly about. Yes, it's a part of what makes Chile Chile, specifically Santiago Santiago. I encourage you to check out Cachando Chile for a true-to-reality take on culinary experiences here (the link is tagged for food entries) that will help round out an entry such as this one, which is focused on the subjective view of particular restaurants in Santiago.

Stay tuned for the other Parts (II or even III), budget permitting and as I get around to eating more (and working out so that I don't balloon into a hippopotamus. That's Obi's role.)

The Brady Bunch only exists without exes

2010-10-02T08:59:00.003-04:00

I don't consider myself to be a stepmom in any sort of way, even though I guess that yeah, the fact of the matter IS that I'm technically a stepmom, given that my husband has children from his previous marriage. But the whole idea behind the term "stepmom" is so cliché, I get nauseous at the mere thought of it. Just thinking of the typical image of the woman who has no children of her own, all of a sudden trying to be a mom, just makes me think of Baroness Schraeder playing ball with the Von Trapp kids (yes, one more of the million references to the movie "The Sound of Music" - so sue me.)

I won't get into detailed specifics of the dynamics between my husband and his ex, nor will I get into exact specifics of my role either. Suffice it to say that the mother of my husband's kids (also known as "b*tch face" in my small circle of me, myself and I) is equatable to a fascist dictator (according to me) and even if she isn't physically with us on the weekends the kids do spend time in our home, trust me, she's nevertheless omnipresent.

In the beginning of this journey, I was rather accepting of the separation and distinction made between their mom, their dad, them and me. G lived a separate life, according to me back then, when they were around. While he made plans with them with hope of including me, I always politely declined, hiding behind the excuse "no, no, this is YOUR time with them." Literally there would be weekends when we'd barely see each other and barely had conversations. A combination of demanding kids and impatient Wife #2 didn't make for easily accessible family time for G. Back then, the ex was more of a b*tch face than I can honesty say she is now - mostly due to the fact that she apparently has a significant other to now love/torture and has withdrawn from loving/torturing my husband - so it was much easier to draw a clear line between "that's you guys" and this is me. In correlated events, as the fascist mother of the kids has (presumably) been diverted by the sweet smell of love with someone else, she's become less of a presence in our home with the kids here and less of a bother and anchor around the neck when the kids aren't here.

As time marched on, as love blossomed for b.f., and as I spent more time with the kids, I got past seeing them as the "offspring" of a "mad love affair" between my husband and his ex. (The reality is that the term "mad" applies but not "love" nor does "affair") and began seeing them as just them. Two kids with their own personalities. I remove the thought of their mom from our time spent together because it angers me to see how she holds the noose above their heads and how she must be so invasive, that the kids think twice about any move they make with me. It's a little more seamless now but nonetheless apparent and it's just sickening to think that a mother is that controlling. And to circle back to my first thought, this is the main reason I don't feel like I'm a stepmom. The iron hand of the law has far reaches into the minds of its subjects and as such, there is no room for a third party to: 1) educate or offer insight 2) offer alternate thinking 3) lead by example. There is only room for a third party to offer fun. When I choose and when circumstances allow for it, that's all I'm really, truly a part of - something fun (whether that be introducing them to Beyonce and Black Eyed Peas, introducing them to Monopoly, playing Wii or watching - you guessed it - "The Sound of Music.")

Unfortunately there are times, like today, when I'm reminded how in reality, there IS a clear line dividing us. Sadly, when that division is apparent, I'm the cheese that stands alone. For some reason or another, the kids' school doesn't do their dieciocho celebrations in September when all the other schools do them. They do them in October. Specifically today. In traditional fashion, by class, kids dance typical Chilean dances in full costume for the parents of the entire student body. G, accompanied by his mother, took his kids and I'm of course, left behind. It's an unspoken rule that shouts from the top of the Andes Mountains: I'm not to be involved or included in these types of things. It doesn't help that the kids' mom is actually a teacher at the school they attend but I'm pretty sure that even if she didn't work there, I'd still have to stay behind the invisible line that divides "his family" from "our family." I don't think it will ever change. In fact, a close friend of mine who married into a similar situation finally stood her ground when the youngest of her husband's sons graduated HIGH SCHOOL! From the time she met his son at the age of 6, she'd missed every single school event, every single performance, every important soccer game. Clearly forced to watch from behind the line. I give her props for standing her ground on his high school graduation. As she clearly stated "Si no le gusta que este, mala suerte." (If she doesn't like that I'm here, too bad.)

At what point does it really, truly become a blended family, I wonder? It's obviously not when the stepmom decides and it could very well be difficult for the kids in between to decide. Does that only leave the option for the first marriage to decide? Can we discuss how unfair that sounds for the now-wife? Then I wonder if it's about the ex-wife deciding because she happens to hold the reins. Or does the husband decide that it's ok to include his wife, opting to literally show the ex that she can go straight to hell if she disagrees? I'm at a loss.

G argues that I wouldn't want to go to their show anyway. True, I'd find it boring as most kid shows are to me. That doesn't mean it wouldn't be cute or, at the very least, entertaining to see their pint-sized selves dance typical Chilean dances. However it's not an option for me either way. Which is the reason I'm sitting on this side of the dividing line, writing a blog, waiting for my dog's trainer to arrive.

When one movie sparked an existential crisis

2010-09-27T11:22:00.005-04:00

Have any of you seen the movie "She's Having a Baby?" It's a random John Hughes movie that in typical JH style, speaks eloquent words of wisdom on coming of age. Except this coming of age movie is more about the coming of age into full-fledged, real adulthood, with marriage, mortgages, careers and babies, as opposed to his typical teenage passage à l'âge adulte films like "Sixteen Candles" and "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." The reviews I took a gander at speak of this film as being an "essay" by John Hughes and his most "serious" film ever."

Yeah it's serious but very typical John Hughes and as usual, there were certain parts of the movie that again spoke to me and reminded me just how relatable the main character's sentiments are to my own. It's a crossfire between emotion and finding (or maintaining) your true self. Last night as I was watching it, G sleeping next to me, two particular ideas from the following quote resonated with me:

"Why couldn't I accept who I was, what I was and where I was? Why couldn't I be like everyone else who rode the train? Were they mindless, anonymous drones, following the scent of money to a senseless, forgotten end or were they the bearers of some great secret that allowed them to rejoice in this life that I was so unwilling to embrace?"

It's been quite difficult for me to adjust to living here in Chile and accept what my life now looks like compared to what it looked like when I was back home. What's been most difficult has been the uncertainty about my future, especially my career. I have this familiar paranoia that continues to walk around with me in that I can't decide if my inability to adjust is something about ME or if the circumstances I willingly chose to be a part of are making it difficult to progress.

Only two ideas from the lines above are ones that make me think:

1) are the women I know who have also made the leap to this strange land actually bearers of some kind of wisdom and secret that makes life here better and positive, a revelation I've yet to stumble across?

2) why am I so unwilling to embrace this life, what it looks like now and who I am as I live it?

What is it that I see in other women here that makes me think my reality is so grossly different from theirs? In fact, I've spoken to many of them who have told me that they too had a difficult time adjusting to living in Chile at first, and when they hear me complain or see me wanting to bang my head against the wall over the idiosyncrasy of the Chilean culture, I know I'm generally preaching to the choir. There's nothing I'm currently going through, or have gone through in the last 14 months, that they have not also experienced and ultimately accepted or overcome. In fact, even this past Friday as we were all out celebrating a Gringa friend's birthday, I was sitting there talking to the birthday girl and she said to me, "Do you ever look around and think 'wait, what am I doing here? How and when did I end up living in Chile?'" Um, yes, that notions sounds vaguely familiar to me. But it got me thinking: she, like other gringa friends, have been here much longer than I have, yet for the most part, if not completely, they live happy lives here. But even so, just as my friend made me realize with her rhetorical question, they too must stop every once and a while and think, "how did I get here?"

The devil's advocate in me (or the pessimistic, masochistic side of me - your choice) then remembers that most of the women I'm friends with here aren't really, truly here for the long-term. Eventually, as their plans unfold, they'll make their way back home, husbands in tow. They'll carry with them the adventure they had of living in another country, surviving and excelling in said country (in this case, Chile of course) and all the bad memories and experiences of adapting will become examples, anecdotes or memories of how living abroad shaped their current and/or future plans and selves. I compare that to my reality and realize, I don't have that luxury. I made the decision to leave everything I've ever known, everything that ever meant anything to me, every last memory and experience I was ever a part of, and start my life literally ALL OVER AGAIN, in a foreign country. And the thing is, there is no going back. At least, not in a way that I would willingly choose.

And in my head I wonder, over and over again, would Chile seem so difficult if I knew that at some point down the line, I'd be back home again, better than ever because I'd be with my husband, the person I adore most in this world? I don't have the answer, nor can I pretend to know what it's like for others...but from this perspective I think that would be an important secret to embracing life in a different country. I don't know what it's like for my friends here, what it's been like or what other people experience here and I'm not saying that what I write here is the truth. Really, it's just a thought.

As for point #2 above, I began to really, truly analyze: what makes my life so uncomfortable here that I am so far removed from accepting who I am and where I am now that I live here? I still can't put a name on it but I can describe it as this: I feel like I'm redoing the period of my life post-college graduation, when I had no idea where I was going, what would become of me or why it seemed that my peers had their sh*t together and I didn't. In short, I feel like I'm experiencing my quarter-life crisis all over again, meanwhile I'm actually heading into my mid-30s! Wikipedia lists a variety of characteristics of this social and cultural phenomenon we know as the quarter-life crisis and you can see them all here. However in my case, I can call out the following as relevant:

* confronting their own mortality [i.e. realizing that I'm not getting any younger and I have a list of accomplishments that seem to just be sitting there, not transforming themselves into reality.]
* insecurity regarding the fact that their actions are meaningless [This might have more to do with a certain quest I'm on that so far, has proved fruitless. Also, school.]
* insecurity regarding present accomplishments
* disappointment with one's job
* nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life [except in my case it's the life I left back in California]
* tendency to hold stronger opinions [fighting the power here really makes me quite obnoxious. And it's not like I'm happy with being that way.]
* loss of closeness to high school and college friends [missing one of my good friend's wedding this past weekend and not even KNOWING my best friend's boyfriend = sucks.]
* financially-rooted stress [as I've gotten older, I have more financial responsibilities and I'm still not at the point of being able to save for, say, a home? Plus school and the final wedding payments have killed me in the last few months.]
* desire to have children [or the simple to desire to be at a place in my life where it's a viable and intelligent option to start a family. Guess who's not getting any younger?]
* a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than oneself
* frustration with social skills [it's not that I'm awkward - I don't think - but I do tend to have my weirdo moments in everyday Chilean encounters.]

I remember feeling many of these things and more, immediately after college. Then my career and life began to take shape and one by one, these sentiments became irrelevant. Of course, 10 points were replaced by ONE HUGE point, that being: "Waaaaaaaaaa! I want someone to love!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I'll never find THE ONE!" And the like. Now I have the latter fantastically filled but upon moving to Chile, all of the points above made their way back into my life (como Pedro por su casa) at a time when I had completely forgotten ever feeling that way at all! Of course I wouldn't trade what I have in my personal life right now - the fulfillment I have with the person I've chosen to live my life with and the relationship we have together - for more time in California, not in a million years. I accept Round 2 of the quarter-life crisis because I figure, I survived it once before (and alone at that). After all, now, I should be better equipped to give all the points above a good kick in the b*lls anyway. At some point soon, I'll have hurdled it all and I'll look back, wave goodbye and say "thanks for playing."

...Geez. Had I known that my seemingly innocent choice over which DVD to watch prior to falling asleep last night would spark such an existential crisis (and consequently, a ridiculously long blog post) I would have opted for "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" instead ...

Chilean companies & their employees - unproductive?

2010-09-22T10:52:00.006-04:00

Sometimes the things that my classmates and teachers talk about surprise me and not at all in a negative way. Rather, I'm enlightened and many times struck by a ray of hope for the evolution of the average Chilean. Meaning my classmates and teachers seem to be, in my experience, not your everyday average Chileans and definitely not the Chileans that perhaps our parents once were (or still are.) Though there are many times when they talk about things I have no clue on (mainly knowledge one would have if he/she grew up here), there are other times when they talk about things I never expected, offering insight and opinions that shed some light on the changing profile of young executives in this country.

This was the case yesterday in class when we began deviating from the topic of the day. To offer a quick background, we were discussing how a company can be more than just a company but a brand in and of itself. The main requirement for this, in short, is to make sure that your internal client, i.e. employees, are happy. Happy employees will feel an affinity to the company's brand. I was enjoying the discussion when all of a sudden the professor, a man between 45-50, professional and educated both here and in Spain, says to the class "Officially and on record, it's been shown that Chile is the least productive country in regards to time management of employees and efficiency in the workplace."

Scratch record, silence music, stop the presses.

Did my Chilean professor just say that in front of my Chilean peers and classmates?

Granted it's something I've experienced, seen, heard about and witnessed in the past six years I've worked with Latin Americans but never in a million years did I expect to hear that from a Chilean in a room with other Chileans. Even more so, I never expected the majority of the Chilean classmates I have to actually AGREE with the statement.

What ensued was a series of examples and reasons as to WHY, from their perspective, Chileans weren't productive. Words and phrases thrown out were (note that this was discussed in a general sense, in the "we" context, in the context of the work/labor force and delivered by Chileans. I.e. the foreigners, including myself, did not offer opinions):

Chileans, as a general group, are lazy.
Chileans lack motivation.
Chileans lack good leadership.
Chileans lack education.
Even college graduates are unprofessional.
Chileans are unreliable.
There are fewer opportunities in Chile.

Other examples where offered but what I found to be more interesting were the anecdotes that followed each example of why Chileans were unproductive and inefficient in the workplace. For instance, one classmate shared with us that when it was time for her yearly review, her supervisor told her that she was "too anxious" because she consistently followed up with people on to-do's and next steps. She stated that she had to be that way because following up once, twice and up to four times didn't automatically make things happen. And for being proactive, she was labeled as "anxious" by her superior.

Another example (given by a classmate) is how Chileans will work until 7 or 8 p.m. when in comparison, Brazilians (in her example) will work until 6 pm. If she's talking to a distributor for her company in Brazil and the line is disconnected, she stated that the Brazilians immediately call back. Whereas it was her experience that the same incident will happen with a Chilean and the Chilean will not only NOT return the call, but when she tries to call, the line rings and rings or it goes straight to voicemail. Upon locating the same Chilean distributor another day, the Chilean distributor will proclaim "Oh, I thought you were going to call ME back." I did. "Oh yeah but it was 6:30 pm, I left of course." In the middle of our pending phone conversation? Yes.

My contribution to the discussion did not involve bashing how Chileans work nor did it involve criticizing Chileans in any way. In fact, I offered this morsel of insight, valuable or not: I stated that in the U.S. most people learn proper business conduct and etiquette from the companies that hire them. We can study the most "random" things in college (English Literature, History, Anthropology, etc) and still find ourselves working in a financial firm, venture capital, branding or consumer products company. The point being that in the U.S., GENERALLY, we are taught the proper business culture when already in that culture. And I stated that from what I observed, Chileans were more preoccupied with making sure that one is the proper Ingeniero Comercial with the adequate amount of excel and economics and marketing courses necessary but with no aspect of how to properly function inside an organization.

I thought about it too. When I started my current job, I had zero experience in licensing. I had worked at a software company during the dot.com craze of the late 90s and when I was laid off due to lack of funding, I worked at a private wealth management firm. I was hired at my current company because I had the college education, I had the basic, fundamental skills needed and I had the drive and knowledge to learn a new business. Further, I had NO experience working with Japanese businesses nor did I have any idea how to conduct myself in a meeting or in negotiations with the Japanese. In fact, given that I was hired to work on the international side of the business, I didn't have any idea how to do business with ANYONE who wasn't American! Obviously it took a few months, but I learned all of that and I feel that I have even come to excel in some aspects of it. In the same situation, a Chilean company will try to find a candidate with the exact same business experience (or at least 80% of what's required for the position) because to them, that's what's fundamental - past experience doing the exact same thing. But does that mean they're hiring the most efficient person out there? Someone who may help increase productivity? If what our professor told us yesterday is true, then I think Chilean companies need to rethink how they do their hiring. That is, if they care about having productive employees.

The best example given yesterday (in my opinion) was by the women who work at Lider, one of the major supermarket/hipermarket chains here in Chile. Lider is now owned by Walmart and as such, we were given a top-line example of how the business culture at Lider changed when Walmart came with their team to implement the new procedures and spark the Walmart culture of "Save Money. Live Better." Though we weren't offered major specifics, the examples offered clearly demonstrated how Walmart, with its American business culture, spent time observing how corporate and retail Lider worked and implemented changes that would increase productivity and efficiency across the board. It's a work-in-progress we were told, but already changes were apparent.

Then I got to thinking of the comment thrown out about professionalism and how many Chilean executives and professionals lack this fundamental quality in the workplace. I recalled stories I've heard about (mainly) women who go into their bosses offices here, only to sit down and literally start bawling. I've heard this more than once, with different women in different companies for different reasons. Regardless of the reason, I'm always taken aback by this. What kind of executive allows her superiors, even her peers, to see her break down in the office? Whether right or wrong, to do so only promotes the quick labeling of her (us) as weak or fragile and not someone who can carry a burden of responsibility. The UBER female in me wants to ask these women "Helllooooooo did you not see the episode of Sex and the City when Samantha and Charlotte talked about the effects of crying the workplace? Do I need to do a PSA about this for all those out there who feel the overwhelming need to bawl and ruin the reputation of the rest of us?" Because I would if I could. This is just one example of the unprofessional nature of some executives here in Chile, but I can add to the mix those who take their half hour cigarette breaks, those who go out for 2+ hour lunches, those women who abuse their maternity leave and tack on days that become weeks that turn into months outside the office because their baby spits up milk or whatever lame excuse is used...

I can't say that the United States is the most productive or most efficient business capital of the world, nor can I attest that our workers don't slack off. I've seen many who do, hiding behind the guise of a Senior This-or-That title and taking credit for work done by those working under them. I've seen those who stroll into work at 10 am and leave at 4 pm everyday. And I've seen those who sit at their computers watching YouTube all day long instead of working.

But in light of the fact that I live in Chile now, I wonder, if what our professor told us is true, what's the real reason behind it? Further, how can it be changed?

Rock Star Kids!

2010-09-14T12:30:00.005-04:00

I'm intrigued by kids, especially those with imagination and drive. This is because on the other hand, I've seen my fair share of the typical kid and his/her antics. I know it's not their fault these kids have nothing new to offer; it's mainly their parents fault and in light of that, I think the majority of parents today are really proactive about how their kids develop and how they are stimulated. It's a sign of the times, I believe.

Which is why it's no surprise that some very close family friends back home have accomplished something that I too hope to accomplish when I have children: they're raising women leaders who wish to make this world a better place.

I reject the idea that if one is a girl, that girl needs pink and needs dolls and needs cutesy this or that. Girls aren't bubbles, fragile and likely to burst if poked. Further, girls, just like boys can very well be encouraged to run, explore, climb, question, think, laugh, build, rearrange and a series of other active verbs that right now escape me but that are traditionally seen as boy behavior.

Our family friends have three girls: Kylie (11), Devon (10) and Piper (8) and these three girls think big. They started a club called Earth Savers Club for Kids about two years ago, initially with the belief "think globally, act locally," with the purpose of picking up trash around their neighborhood in Northern California. But big thinkers and doers don't just settle on the first idea that comes to mind, no matter how old or young they may be. No, they decided that to go BIG would mean reaching kids in other parts of the State, country and world and encouraging kids to pledge their commitment - however they can - to saving the Earth. Some kids pledge (via the website) to eat as much organic food as possible, others pledge to pick up garbage and recycle more, while others pledge to save the Earth by simply walking more. Um, did I mention these are KIDS making said pledges?? Rock star kids, all of them.

A local newspaper called "The Almanac" did a short report on these three girls and their hope for the future. But the real gem that lets one truly appreciate where these girls hope to go and what they hope to accomplish is the actual Earth Savers Club for Kids, a colorful, interactive website that invites kids from all over the world to join the global effort to save the Earth's natural resources. As 10-year old Devon reminds us in the article she wrote for an e-magazine, "the Earth can't be saved without kids." Call me crazy, but if I were a parent, I'd definitely use this site to encourage my kids to participate in their own way.

An epilogue to ponder ....
On a personal note, I've known these girls since they were babies. In fact, I've known Kylie since she was 4 months old and I "met" Devon and Piper days after they were each born. My mother used to be their nanny when we lived in California and we were as much a part of eachother's lives as any blood-related relatives. We've had the opportunity (and honor) to watch these girls grow up, celebrating with them, vacationing with them, sharing with them and to watch them individually become exactly who they chose to be ... They are the reason I reject the notion that girls - and women - aren't capable of excelling beyond our everyday imagination (and expectation). I've seen it first hand numerous times and in the simplest of forms, such as conversations with them or everyday play with them. In any case, I'm proud of them and of the girls they have become ... I look forward to marveling at the women they will be and I hope that one day, if I have a girl, I too can accomplish the feat of encouraging her to look around and consider how she can help make things better.

Kylie and me in St. Thomas, USVI.

Devon and me playing on their backyard's swing set.

Piper and me in Disneyland.

Lider's Bicentennial GWP

2010-09-12T18:56:00.011-04:00

For those who are unfamiliar with the letters GWP, they stand for "gift with purchase" and as it sounds, it's usually a little trinket a buyer receives after buying something else. Usually, but not always, a company will do this type of promotion jointly with another company and together, they each have the opportunity to promote their product/brand. The best part is that the consumer generally wins because the GWPs tend to come with items one is already going to buy or is already willing to buy.

Lider, a (former) Chilean hipermarket purchased by the monster known as Walmart, is not one of my favorite places in the world and I rarely go there for my grocery needs. This is due in part to my great distaste for all things Walmart in general and also because Lider, as a place in existence to satisfy grocery needs, doesn't speak to me at all. In fact, all it really says to me is "Andrea turn around and go to Jumbo."

There's one exception: the Lider Express located on Bilbao and Pedro de Valdivia, a few blocks from our apartment in Providencia. I won't lie. This Lider Express has gotten us out of jams many a times and it's the only Lider I've stepped foot in and actually purchased something since I moved here. That was the case this evening when G and I noted we didn't have a single tomato in our apartment (crucial part of our weekly diet) or anything that could accompany the chicken we were thinking of bbq-ing for dinner. Enter Lider Express to save the day.

As we walked in, G said to me "Did you see their promotion?" What promotion? "If you spend $15,000 pesos (about US$30) you get a free Chilean Recipes Cookbook." Cool.

I didn't think much of it until G went to claim the GWP with our receipt of over $15,000 pesos spent. But once I saw it, I swooooooned!! Give or take, 42 glossy pages of the yummiest of Chilean recipes I could ever lay my hands on FOR FREE (kind of.) Everything from Chilean drinks, to Chilean seafood recipes, soups, casseroles and desserts. Hello, 7th Heaven!

Front cover of the recipe book. Unabashed marketing of the Lider Express brand but who cares? I want to know how one makes that empanada!

This is followed by pages and pages of images of typical Chilean dishes and their corresponding step by step instructions for do-it-yourself brilliance!

Almejas en Salsa Verde & Sopa de Choritos con Verduras (Clams in Green Salsa & Mussel soup with vegetables.)

Porotos granados con Pilco & Porotos con Choricillos (Typical Chilean beans with corn and Beans with Chorizo)

Sopaipillas con Pebre & Ajiaco (Sopaipillas that are generally salty rather than sweet, with a type of Chilean pico de gallo & Ajiaco - a type of potato and beef soup with A WHOLE LOTTA garlic. Nothing short of fabulous.)

Pastel de Jaiba (Crab casserole? Hello, lovely!)

Pastel de Choclo - the quintessential Chilean dish, following the empanada. (Corn casserole that contains meat, chicken, olives and onions. Delish!)

And much, much more!

I'm quite impressed with this marketing initiative on behalf of Lider Express and at home, we're really excited to hop-to on many of these recipes. I love the small packaging, glossy photos and simple, yet delicious recipes that make up this GWP.

By far worth the minimum of $15,000 pesos Lider wants you to spend in their stores. At least in my book.

Thanks Tom

2010-09-10T15:00:00.003-04:00

When living in a foreign country, sometimes it seems that the planets are aligning against you and you begin to wonder what the hell you're doing there. If you decide you have enough reasons for being there (like I do here) then you begin to wonder how you'll not only keep your head above water but actually start treading it and then walking on said water.

That's where I am right now, this very second, today. And because of that, I have to imagine that Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers are speaking directly to me ...

Chile, 100 years ago

2010-09-09T11:26:00.010-04:00

I love the magazine inserts that come in the weekend editions of "El Mercurio" (Chile's primary newspaper). I rather enjoy reading them and finding out about all things related to the Chilean culture and the happenings in Santiago itself.

This past Saturday's edition of "Sabado" Magazine. A Bicentennial special.

I grew up learning the in's and out's of American History: the wars we fought in, the important figures that helped shape our country, the geography, the movements and the changes we encountered and the obstacles we overcame to arrive where we are today, whether good or bad. So when I moved to Chile last year, I realized that I arrived with very limited knowledge of why Chile is the Chile it is today, who was involved, which historical dates were the most important and who played a role in shaping society. Of course I know who Pinochet was, who Allende was ... but what did Pratt do? Is he the naval hero or is it Bernardo O'Higgins? And mind you, the only reason I even know the names Pratt and O'Higgins is because every city in Chile has streets named after these two so I gather, they must be important, right? There are holidays that randomly come around and G will have the day off from work and I ask "To what do I owe the pleasure?" and the response will be the likes of "El combate naval de Iquique." (Iquique's - city in northern Chile - naval combat.) Oh. Right. That.

Apparently baby's got a lot to learn about her new home.

Which is why I was particularly happy that this past "Sabado" magazine was a special on the Bicentennial and as such, many fun and interesting historical "datos" (or facts / information) were featured. My personal favorite from last weekend's issue: "Chile Puertas Adentro: Como han cambiado nuestras costumbres." (Chile behind closed doors: how our customs have changed.) The article gave a very top-line but interesting look at how family life has changed, what tendencies have been left behind and which ones still remain intact in Chilean family life.

The article first begins with stating what we know of Chile today: 60% of families consist of both a mother and a father and 27% of families are single-parent; the woman not only works outside the home but makes up 50% of the Chilean workforce. We read that there are now more divorces than marriages, that Chilean women begin to have children at about age 30 (give or take) and the average woman will not have more than 2 children. Further, it is now a viable option to just have one child.

From here, the article takes us back 100 years to what the family life was like at the turn of the century. The most fundamental difference between families then and families now is that the men and women of the last century did not typically marry for love. Rather, they married to procreate (how romantic.) Couples were introduced and were pressured to marry based on family preferences (either personal or professional) and this led to the majority of husbands turning outside the marriage for sexual satisfaction and even love. As an outsider, I still see a little of this in Chile in that many, many couples I know have been together for 5,6,7 or more years BEFORE ACTUALLY GETTING MARRIED. Then they seem to get married because it's the logical next step. Yeah, I gather that they must love one another but after 7 years together, at some point there must be way more family and societal pressure to marry than there is heart-wrenching, burning desire to do so. Nowadays I wouldn't go as far as to say that men opt to cheat since I'll take the information regarding growing divorce of evidence that greener pastures will be pursued sans infidelity. Plus, in the more elite circles of Chile, I am willing to bet that little has changed with regards to family preferences and who a man or woman chooses to marry. If they come to say it doesn't ever matter ... I call LIAR!

The article then moves on to talk about where the family spent the majority of their time. Since central heating systems are still lacking in Chile, and chimneys weren't introduced until the 1930s, the majority of Chileans used "braseros" to heat their homes at the turn of the century. I had to look up what a traditional brasero looked like and this is what I found:

Typically coal was burned (indoors) to provide heat. Hi, intoxication!

These were used across all social classes and the primary consequence of this less-than-cozy apparatus is that it forced the family to spend the majority of their time together in one room of the house. The article then states that family members would wear coats to move about other areas of the house ... which got me thinking that it doesn't seem to me that that's changed much nowadays. I'm pretty sure we aren't going to see coals warming the homes of the average Chilean but I'm fairly certain that no matter the social class, the lack of heating in Chile forces everyone to walk around the house looking like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man...

...or Randy from the movie "A Christmas Story" ...

What have you.

Santiago, with a population of about 544,000 people back then, was a considerably smaller city than it is now. Hence, people either walked from Point A to Point B or rode around in horse drawn carriages. The men worked, went home for lunch, took a nap and then went out to work again. Mind you, this concept of closing for lunch is still relevant outside Santiago and it's like you've been in the DeLorean and have been shuttled back in time when you encounter a sign that tells you the store will reopen at 3 pm. Happy hour seems to still be around since back in the day the men would go to their "club" after work (whether it be La Union, Club Hipico, a Mason club, firefighters club, etc) and to quote Kate from Titanic, I imagine they were also inclined to "congratulate themselves on being masters of the universe." Woman had their little get togethers as well and after a long day of duties at home, would invite other women over and partake in a little gin rummy and conversation. It sounds to me like they may have also dipped into their husband's wine and may have gone crazy showing one another their ankles. Call me crazy.

Other interesting tidbits about the article include:

Children did not eat at the same table with their parents until they reached puberty. Since this term wasn't coined until later, those that had reached it were identified as those who no longer wore "short pants." I guess young boys wore shorter slacks back then ... the article doesn't mention anything pertaining to females (as I'm sure they didn't go around wearing long or short pants, ever) but I gather once the girl began menstruating, she too got the privilege to eat with the adults. Though how embarrassing. You arrive at the table and not only does your brother know what's up with your body but so does your dad! Ewww.

The term "mama" actually came about from the elite's use of wet nurses back in the day (taking from the verb "mamar" which means "to nurse or feed.") The name and idea of a "nana" is actually as recent as 30 years ago and has gained popularity as the times have changed and more women pursue interests and goals outside their home.

Back then 98% of Chileans claimed to be Catholic, with at least 50% of them being practicing Catholics. Now, observing Catholics make up 7% of the population.

The article concludes stating the one thing that hasn't changed at all in the last 100 hundred years here in Chile: women continue to be the ones responsible for "keeping" the home and that "domestic co-responsibility" is something that continues to be non-existent in the majority of Chilean households. This despite the fact that women now work outside the home and like I said, make up at least 50% of the country's work force ...

Thinking, thinking, thinking ....Hmmm ... why does that sound so familiar ...?

It's time to stop playing dumb

2010-09-08T11:57:00.012-04:00

In June, when G and I decided to get Obi neutered, I wrote a blog about the constant reactions I received from MANY (and I mean almost ALL) Chileans with whom we shared our decision to neuter. I surrendered to the fact that my role as a responsible pet owner was once again more proof to Chileans that I was a "bicho raro" (odd duck) and that my poor proper Chilean husband must be the "pobrecito" (poor guy) who had no choice but to let his gringa wife have her way with their little pooch. (Incidentally, this is just one of many examples of gringa wife = bicho raro, Chilean husband = probrecito.) I must have given the speech about the benefits of sterilization dozens and dozens of times and of course, this was met with resistant, then skeptical eyes. In the end I always found myself frustrated and concluding "It's what we do where I'm from." It seems that was the only acceptable response that Chileans would accept. "Oooooh, right. It's a Gringo thing. You crazy, Gringos." The fact of the matter is that Obi was neutered, yeah it hurt and he was uncomfortable, but almost three months post-op he's fine! Here's proof, my dear skeptical Chileans:

Obi lounging in the sun 3 weeks post-surgery.

Obi next to his BFF, Toyotomi, 4 weeks post surgery.

Obi playing in Parque Bicentenario 5 weeks post-surgery.

Obi two weeks ago displaying his deep appreciation for his new toy from Brazil.

I told you guys he'd be fine. And despite one of the RIDICULOUS reasons that many Chileans still hold on to as reasons for not sterilizing their pets, I don't think he understands the notion that he'll "never be a father" because, oh, he's A DOG!

Anyway, the point of of this blog is this: after some researching and reading, I've come to learn that there are many entities and people in Chile who actually favor the notion of responsible pet ownership. And because of this, I've decided that anyone who gives me ridiculous reasons for not doing so (an example of said ridiculousness noted above), will automatically be labeled as ignorant in my book. Call me extreme, call me rude, call me intolerant. I disagree with all three because the fact of the matter is that Chile, whether behind the times or not, is actually well aware of the need to be responsible ... it just seems that said knowledge needs to spread to the masses via communication and education.

Here are links to various interesting articles and websites regarding the topic of the stray animal population and the programs available to help dog owners be the best owners possible to their little furry family members:

Sterilization programs in various comunas of Santiago (link)
Article on the root of the stray animal over-population in Chile and why sterilization is better than elimination (link)
Article on the Canine Sterilization Center in Osorno, Chile (link)
Article on initiative to fine those who feed street animals in Valparaiso, Chile. Note that this initiative has since been suspended. (link)
Financial Statement and information on campaign to save animals post February's earthquake "No los dejes atrás, ellos también son víctimas." (link)
The rights granted to animals in Chile (link)

The fact of the matter is that right now the everyday reality I encounter in Chile shows that many people have got to get their act together on the topic of pets and the animal over-population in Chile's streets. But I have hope for the younger generations because Chileans are a smart bunch, savvy in many ways, forward-thinkers and progressive. Yet in so many ways, also quite antiquated (believe me, G and I run into people OUR AGE who still view the concept of "me man, work - woman, home good) and responsible pet ownership is one of those concepts that continues to just float about without any real place in the culture.

Case in point: G and I took Obi and his kids to Parque Bicentenario last Sunday, where we found ourselves in the midst of the "tiki-tiki-ti" (Independence Day) celebrations and park bustling with stands, activities, rides for the kids and people everywhere. Inside the area designated for pets to run around without leashes, there was a woman who was there with her own bulldog for the first time. We got to talking and in the next five minutes, I about keeled over in astonishment realizing that:

her bulldog was running around like crazy, something she thought was "great" since he spent so much time during the week indoors.
she didn't have water and because her bully was so thirsty, he was foaming at the mouth
she didn't have baggies to clean up after him, which was a problem when he suddenly stopped running to proceed to throw up due to over exertion.

Yeah this woman had a bulldog that had been gifted to her and yeah, she seemed to think he was great but the problem was apparent: she was pretty irresponsible as a bulldog owner. 1) bulldogs literally, physically cannot run around for long periods of times, even if they want to. There are many health reasons that back this up which I won't get into here but any proper bulldog owner would know this even by simple means of something called the INTERNET. 2) Bulldogs are drastically (almost annoyingly) sensitive to the heat and sun, even if it's not that hot. As a result, when outside, in the sun, an owner must ALWAYS have with him/her some water for the little piggy to drink. They get thirsty and they get thirsty fast. Obi can chug 2 liters of water like it's nobody's business on a typical park outing. 3) an owner of a dog (or cat) should be pretty aware of the cues that indicate that their pet is not doing well, in a similar fashion that a mother or father would be attuned to their kid all of a sudden feeling sick. At the very least, notice that you dog is not over exerted so that the poor little guy doesn't throw up?

Needless to say I almost b*tch slapped the woman for being so dumb and for being so oblivious. I immediately took the opportunity to point all of this out to G's daughter and told her the following "Having a pet is a responsibility and if you're going to have a special breed like a bulldog, you need to make sure you know the dog's limitations so that he can live a happy life." Even G's daughter, who is 8, understood that bulldogs can't run around for extended periods of time.

I don't know if it's the culture or if it's Chile's obsessive focus on the children's welfare that makes for the myopic view of topics regarding animals (and the environment, while we're at it!) Maybe it's neither and it's just a geographic obstacle, in that Chile is literally so far away from so many other "developed" countries and that it's surrounded by geographic barriers (Andes and Pacific Ocean) that the information and tendencies are delayed? Or perhaps it's none of the above. In any case, if there are people as dumb as those who reprimand me for neutering Obi and people like the woman mentioned above who didn't have the slightest idea of what it meant to be a bulldog owner, I believe that times are changing and Chile is evolving when it comes to animal rights and education to the masses on the responsibility of pet ownership. It's time for the masses to stop playing dumb regarding the topic of responsible pet-ownership and the topic of the over-population of dogs and cats in the country. If parents-to-be educate themselves on all things involving children and newborns, if someone who's about to buy a car will read every article and book about how to care for the car so as to assure it's longevity, if people study the last financial statement of a company they are interviewing with in order to gain a competitive advantage in the interview process, what would it take for these same people to learn a bit more about the benefits of protecting and enriching the lives of animals?

I wonder.

Man is the only creature that consumes without producing. He does not give milk, he does not lay eggs, he is too weak to pull the plough, he cannot run fast enough to catch rabbits. Yet he is lord of all the animals. ~George Orwell, Animal Farm

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. ~Paul Harvey

Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar. ~Bradley Millar

Here's an epilogue to ponder:
I never used to be so aware of animals and especially dogs. But ever since I moved to Chile and realized how animals are regarded, both the good and the bad, and became a pet owner myself, I have found that I am quite adamant on the topic of proper pet responsibility and education. In fact, I'm more adamant about pets than I am about children, as controversial as that may sound. I don't have kids, I have a dog. And in Chile, as well as everywhere else, there about 100 times more people fighting for the rights of children than there are those remotely concerned about dogs and animals. Things will shift when I have kids, I'm sure. But that just means that my focus will then be balanced between kids and dogs and by no means, will that ever mean that my focus on dogs will falter.

Chile - evolving!

2010-09-02T10:51:00.002-04:00

I rarely listen to the radio here in Chile but I saw a billboard advertisement about a radio station that plays classic rock so I tuned in yesterday when I headed to the gym. I encountered good music but what really struck my fancy was a public service announcement (PSA) by a government agency here in Chile called SERNAM (Servicio Nacional de la Mujer or the National Association for Women, to loosely translate.) I, of course, only heard the audio version of this PSA but upon searching the SERNAM website, I found the video which contains the same message I heard yesterday. You can refer to the 30 second spot below:

Even for those of you who don't understand Spanish, it's clear that you see a man sitting on a stool who eventually begins turning into a caveman. Why is this happening? No it's not a GEICO commercial ... The reason for this is because the narrator of the commercial is asking the man "Felipe, what do you do?" and Felipe answers that he works. The narrator then asks "And do you have kids?" And Felipe answers "Yes, but my wife watches them." The spot continues with the narrator asking the same series of questions and each time Felipe answers the equivalent of "Me work, wife stay at home with kids" he starts turning more and more into a caveman, until eventually he's just grunting, pounding his chest and saying "me work!" The spot then concludes with the word "Evolucionemos" (let's evolve) and the narrator communicates that Chile needs men AND women sharing responsibilities (termed "co-responsabilidad" in the campaign) both inside the home and at work. We see Felipe and his lovely wife locking hands as the narrator tells us that we should make a pact to "grow together in a better country."

What can I say? I LOVE it! I love it because it's addressing something that is so outrageously prevalent in many societies, though it's something that needed addressing, oh, yesterday. The United Nations reports that though more and more women are now part of the labor force of many countries, "when hours in paid and unpaid work are combined, women tend to have longer working hours per week than men, and less time for leisure or sleep." On the flip side, the report states that men may work as many hours or more in a day, but that said work is most often paid work. In short, the norm is that home management and keeping is not ultimately a shared responsibility among supposed partners. Of course Chile is the rule, not the exception as we can tell from a report done by Channel 13 in Chile as the journalist took to the streets to ask men and women how much sharing is really taking place when it comes to the home.

Sadly enough (but truthful) most men and their wives will agree that the husband or male partner "occasionally helps" or just "helps" but it's a far cry from actually SHARING responsibility. Really, it's kind of sad that the first man interviewed in the video above can't, for the life of him, give an answer and so he looks at his wife/partner for help with the question of shared responsibility. She laughs and answers, "Sometimes he sweeps the balcony." Whoop-dee-doo!! That lady has got herself a gem!

So what's my reality when it comes to this? G is an exception to the norm. Though our reality is peppered with other variables that could very well explain why things are more shared in our home: he was a single-parent when his kids were 8 months & 4 years old, thus he had to handle many things pertaining to running his home and taking care of his kids every other weekend. Also contributing is the fact that we're fortunate enough to have a nana come once a week, which ultimately reduces the amount of cleaning and upkeep either of us have to do around here. Of course we can factor in that we don't have kids together and his kids don't live full-time in the house, though trust me our dog certainly makes up for it with his fair share of strewing toys about, shedding and generally being messy and slobbery (such is the case with bulldogs.) So yes, in our home I'd say it's 40-60 and I say this ONLY because I generally do the cooking and generally do the grocery shopping alone. But then again, he's the one who waters the plants and takes the initiative to do laundry when the nana isn't here. I do neither of those two things - ever. In any case, personally we are lucky to be an exception because really, whatever I do, he can do and whatever I don't do he definitely does.

But I have to commend SERNAM for starting this campaign. I'm all about sharing responsibilities because there is no reason that anyone in the house should be held responsible for the majority of the work. It's also quite unfair to women (what else is new) that we spend more time working - period, when combining paid and unpaid work. I like that they chose to make their point using a little comedy. In addition, I would imagine that being portrayed as a caveman is something that no man likes. I assume, with all of their ingrained competitiveness, that if they are shown in a manner to be the antithesis of evolving, they'll at least look at themselves and think "Hey now, I'm better than a caveman." I just hope that this campaign also evolves because I imagine that many men, namely the older generations but perhaps the younger ones alike, probably don't really get the difference between "helping out" and "sharing responsibility." After all, it seems that even the wife filmed above was ok with the husband merely sweeping the balcony every so often.

And of course, that's the other side of the battle. As long as women are accepting of this behavior and attitude, as long as women are ok with a little help here, a little help there, then the notion of shared responsibility will be lost and contained to a few reels of PSA's stocked away in a library of film.

But we're on the right path with this campaign and personally, I'm kind of digging SERNAM for making the right to a balanced and fair life for all, men and women, enough of a priority so as to spend some dollars on communication to the masses.

The last name issue in Chile: another dilemma

2010-08-31T19:07:00.004-04:00

I think my fellow expat friend was on to something when she wrote her post about her struggle to figure out what to do with her name following her marriage to a Chilean this year. You see, as she explained quite eloquently in her post, Chileans have a certain way of viewing the last name game and it's basically this: first name, middle name, father's last name, mother's last name. This is the case for every single person born in Chile and this is the case for men, women and children, alike. There are a few exceptions, such as, for example, when the father has completely disappeared and the mother chooses to give her child both her last names (which technically speaking would make Chileans think that the child was actually her mother's sibling and of course, eyebrows would be raised.) Women don't take their husband's name after marriage and are forever known by the name they were born with, regardless of marital status. This is the antithesis of what we know in the States because many women choose to either keep their last names or adopt their husband's last name once married and if you live abroad, this options somehow becomes obsolete. At least, this is what we're faced with here in Chile.

My issue with the name dilemma here in Chile is not quite the same as my friend's and it has more to do with Chilean society and their obsession with last names. Although perhaps outwardly Chileans will argue that classism and discrimination based on one's last name no longer plays a major role in opportunities for advancement here in Chile, incognito, it really does. How do I know this? Besides the reliable source that is my husband and his experience with the matter, I have many other reliable sources who have given me their input based on experiences in college, experiences in the work force, their personal experiences as decisions makers within their companies, experiences in their social life and so on. As much as I wanted to believe that such a reality was no longer the case in this age of globalism AND considering that there are many expats who live in Chile, the reality is that sadly, last names matter. They matter just as much as where you live in Santiago and where you went to school (and I'm not talking school as in which you university you attended. Rather, I'm speaking of where you went to KINDERGARTEN. Believe it or not, these factors also still matter in Chile).

I'd like to take this opportunity to clarify that not all of these variables are important 100% of the time. For instance, there may very well be many examples of how someone who lives in Puente Alto (a lower to lower-middle class neighborhood in Santiago), went to a mediocre school, achieved the best grades possible, attended a prestigious university, such as Universidad de Chile, based on their own personal merit and consequently landed a great job where he/she moved up the ranks and is now a decision maker at a very good company. I totally believe that happens and I'm HAPPY it's possible. On the flip side, just because the aforementioned is possible, is BY NO MEANS an indication that the opposite doesn't happen. Meaning, without seeing a face, without knowing a background, without even bothering to type the word GOOGLE in the browser to find out more, someone may very well look at G's last name, coupled with my last name and completely disregard our future children for a number of things (including entrance into a good school.) I totally believe that happens based on REAL examples and it's worrisome.

I'm not gonna lie. G's paternal last name and my paternal last name are bad. I say this not because the actual, physical spelling of either name is phonetically equivalent to the word shmagina (God forbid), but because they are so blah, so common, so ORDINARY, and so typical, I truly believe it will be a disadvantage to our future children (hey, I didn't make the societal rules here in Chile, but I'm here and I need to plan for them). Seriously. You might call me crazy or think I'm exaggerating but what I'm telling you is based on the social sphere we find ourselves circulating in more and more and this stuff REALLY matters (in this circle)! So what am I going to do? Fight the power my entire life? With the last name equivalents of Smith and Jones, G and I are seriously considering putting our second last names as our children's last names, IF ONLY, the proposed new law that is circulating in the congress-equivalent would JUST PASS. After all, if I have two last names that identify me as, well, ME, shouldn't I have the option to give my future kids one of those two last names? Why does the government get to decide what I get to name my future kids? Truth be told, G's second last name might secure our future kids a senate seat and why should we have to give up that option just because the government tells us that we HAVE to give each kid the grandfather's last name? Needless to say (in case you can't tell) I'm irate over the matter. If being born in Chile means you get two last names, my thought is that of those two last names, one should be able to choose which of the last names you give your children. Plain and simple. It's not like I'm suggesting Chile adopt the practice of allowing anyone to give their kids ANY last name imaginable! (Imagine if that were the case, what roll call would be like at school: "Manchester United? Here! San Francisco Forty Niners? Here! Lan Chile? She's absent. Ok, thanks.") If given the option to choose one of your two last names to pass on, I totally agree that all the kids should share that same pattern of last names so that you don't have a family of five, all with different last names. I get that consistency and the ability to trace your roots back to the time of the Spanish Inquisition makes sense to some.

In short, I hope this law finds its way to passage. I'd really, really like to give my kids last names other than the paternal ones G and I unfortunately have. Again, nothing is wrong with the names themselves, but everything is wrong with what Chilean society will do or not do, how it will react or not react, based solely on these last names as they are. I have two last names and I should have the right to pass on whichever one I choose. Why the h*ll does the government of Chile get to decide this? And why the h*ll do I have to give credit to and pass on ONLY the paternal one?

What century are we living in, Chilean government? Get with the program and lighten the h*ll up.

The land of samba: insights from my recent trip to Brazil

2010-08-30T15:08:00.004-04:00

A few blog posts ago, I wrote a quick note from Brazil as I was on a business trip on behalf of the company I work for in San Francisco. I kept in mind a few things about Sao Paulo that really caught my attention on this trip because I realized that despite various trips I had taken previously to the country, there were just some that completely escaped my all-too-analytical eye. I thought about why this could be and it occurred to me that perhaps I never gave Sao Paulo much mind (aside from the agonizing traffic and congestion) because I always looked at it from the eyes of someone who grew up in San Francisco. After all, what could be better? Picturesque city where the liberals and conservatives alike have seen it all.

After living in Santiago for a little over a year, I landed in Sao Paulo only to realize a fraction of a second later that I LOVE IT THERE! Obviously this outrageous claim comes from someone who lives here, not there and it's coming from someone who didn't have to partake in any of the bad things about the city (namely the traffic and the crime.) Furthermore, I was living in a hotel. Ease and plush included. Adding in the fact that I ate out at every dining chance and that my dinners were initiated by a caipirinha each time, you've got to ask yourself, what's not to love about that country?

Here are some reasons why Brazil has a gold star next to it in my book, despite having taken this long (about eight trips) to appreciate it for all it's worth:

Have you met happier people? It's true that one of the first things I learned to appreciate about Brazilians is how happy they always seem. They could have been sitting in traffic, NOT MOVING AT ALL, for a complete hour and still, they arrive at their destination with a smile. And even if they're upset about something, a lighter view on the topic is never far behind ("Aw, it will be all right. Probably just my turn in the day to sit in it. When I head home it won't be the same.") Whereas, in the same situation, I've been known to throw down a few f-bombs, laced with a little shiz-nat here and a d*mmit there. They're always smiling, always cracking jokes, always finding the lighter side of the coin. It's amazing and inspiring. Why can't I be like that? Why do I take a sour situation and turn it into the worst, life-altering, apocalyptic situation that could have possibly befallen anyone? Whereas they take the same sour situation and turn it into Spanish Fly, offer it around and start a party! I've decided I needed a little more of them and a little less of me in said situations.

By far, they're the most diverse group in the entire region. True story. It turns out that they're history brought people from far and wide to their ginormously large country and as a result, one sees people that are dark, or light brown, or pale and blonde or ... aisan! Specifically, Japanese or Japanese descent. The point being that they aren't a homogeneous crowd, at least not in Sao Paulo which is an EXTREME 180 to the reality you find in Santiago, where pretty much everyone has dark brown hair (or regular brown hair), stands at about 5 foot 3 and shops at Falabella. Oh and Chileans only wear black, brown or gray AND they wear boots until about October. Open-toed shoes are unheard of before then, as is going sockless. Because of this diversity, they too are the kind of people who have seen it all - kind of how I equate San Franciscans. What does that translate to? Brazilians DON'T STARE!! They probably don't stare because they have either seen someone 1) prettier than you, 2) uglier than you 3) fatter than you 4) just overall better/worse than you. Do you know what a relief that is for someone who comes from California to live in a foreign country? The fact that not one person stared at me - not at my shoes, clothes, hair, make up, bag, iPhone, etc - seriously had me as a happy as a clam! I could just blend in the way I always remember blending in. Sure that might sound boring and sad, but it's not. In fact, after a year of living in Santiago, I find it boring and sad that EVERYTHING seems to catch their attention and everything is "novedoso" (or newsworthy) either because it's weird or because it's cool. I miss the anonymity the States grant you and appreciate the anonymity Sao Paolo lent me while I was visiting that week. Upon returning to Chile, since I've been trying to enforce observation #1 listed above, I've tried to conquer the overwhelming feeling I get to b*tch slap obnoxious starers. So far, it's going ok. No one's been hit this week.

So here's another theory: because Brazilians have it all and have, as a result, seen it all, what else does that translate to? Brazilian fashion is, in a word, awesome. Whether awesomely atrocious and weird or awesomely fabulous, it definitely makes its mark and it invites you to view colors, lines and styles in a way that might blow the minds of the average Chilean. It blows my mind and I lived in California all those years - of course I've seen weird stuff! But really, the fashion and the designers themselves, speak quite a lot to the country's diversity and it's a shame that Chile can't make a home for local designers in the same manner. Raise your hand if you're sick of including Saville Row as the one-true Chilean designer? Word.

But here's what I find most attractive about Brazil: the confidence that exudes from the majority of the Brazilian women. A confidence, that from what I can tell, isn't laced with envy towards anyone else. This observation actually struck a chord with me some time ago - about 5 years ago actually. I went to Rio de Janeiro on business with my boss and since we had an afternoon free, we went to Copacabana Beach. I remember seeing the quintessential itsy-bitsy bikinis that have become infamous and synonymous with Copacabana and Ipanema beaches... except I saw these bikinis on women who were ... "entraditas en carne" or as we say in English "big-boned" (in short, a nice way to say that someone was slightly overweight, to say the least.) My first reaction is one that I'm now ashamed of since it slaps me across the face as quite typical - something I hate. My first reaction was a snotty, obnoxious "Ew. WHAT is she wearing? She shouldn't be wearing that." That reaction lasted all of five minutes and here's why: as I watched these women, one in particular, move gracefully from their towels, to the ocean, speaking casually to their neighbor, laughing and soaking in the sun, I realized how completely, wonderfully, 100% relaxed they were in their own skin. That is something that I've seen very few women pull off, no matter how thin they are or how great their boobs look in a bikini top. In fact, TO THIS DAY, I conjure up images of this one particular woman just to remind myself that confidence doesn't come from six pack abs (which I don't have), sculpted legs and perky breasts (which, sadly actually, I don't have either). It comes from somewhere else ... somewhere called Brazil...

Of course, it's not like I'm packing my bags and about to hop a plane to Sao Paulo hoping to start my life anew yet again (Egads, no! I'm just now getting accustomed to living in Chile.) But the few things I pointed out above really make Brazil stand out in a way that Chile can't possibly aspire to achieve. Not that Chile is worse in comparison. It's like I told my professor the other day when he asked me about my Finance final ... I told him "Hey, I have many strengths. Numbers happen to fall way below the top three." (He vehemently agreed, much to my disappointment.) But this blog isn't about Chile's strengths, as some of the top things about living in Chile were well documented back in May. This is about my newly-found appreciation for Brazil and my hope to highlight some of what makes that country and its people so refreshing.

But you know me ... a little dark, a little pessimistic, a little rebellious ...Here's what's super weird about Brazil (again, just some minor points.)

Avocados don't make the list of what they would consider top foods in their diet. In fact, most Brazilians have eaten avocados with SUGAR! Yes, as in a dessert. That, or their mothers used to mix the avocado with MILK and serve it in a smoothie. Coming from a country and a culture where avocados ("paltas") are like the Emperor's Child and we all form circles around it to show our gratitude and awe, this to me is really, really weird. The "churrascarias" (Brazilian steakhouses) have amazing salad buffets ... yet are missing one, crucial element. The palta. Nope, Brazilians just don't do their salads (or their salty's in general) with avocado. Homey's don't play that. I wonder how the Chileans who live there adapt?? (Seriously I can't begin to emphasize how much of this fruit Chileans eat.)

Pedestrians REALLY don't have the right of way. Ever. I used to think that it was just Latin Americans, or specifically Chileans, who were so rude about pedestrians, but now in comparison I really believe that Chileans are quite courteous to the two-footed beast crossing the street. In the U.S. our noses are rubbed into the notion that pedestrians always have the right of way, whether we like it or not. Yeah in Brazil this never holds true, EVEN IF, you have a green light. For instance, I was crossing the street, green light in my favor, as cars begin to turn left and of course, I almost got hit. Not once, but twice. That was my first day in Sao Paulo. By the last day I took to watching the locals who only crossed the street when NO CARS were coming. Screw the light. This little morsel might save your life in Brazil so, seriously, I advise you to take heed. Watch the locals and do as they do!! Don't go thinking that just because you have a green light means you're entitled to walk. Or live, for that matter.

Personal space doesn't exist in the world of the Brazilians. This is huge for Americans. We like our personal space. And since I'm kind of Latin, even I used to cross comfort zones when merely talking to someone else... however Brazilians take it to a whole other level and this, on many occasions, gets awkward. They speak much closer than I'm used to, use hand gestures that invade "my" space and generally tend to be all up in my grill (really close to my face.) I'm not saying that Chileans are keen on respecting the space of others, but in comparison to the general experience I've had in Brazil, I have enough space to set up camp for a night or two here in Chile. Brazil's notion of personal space only allows for tenement camps.

I feel like Brazil is a must-do regardless of the good and the bad. Actually BECAUSE the good and the bad combined make it such a unique place and because I feel (and again, my own humble opinion) it offers more diversity than I've seen since the Meatpacking District circa 1990s (during it's peak transition period.) Or perhaps I'm just once again projecting what I'd want on to others. In fact, I guess if you're coming from a pretty diverse area, seeing only Chileans or only Argentinians or only Peruvians is just what one might want. Maybe that's why I never really regarded Brazil as diverse as I see it now when I lived in California and worked in San Francisco. But man, oh man. Try living in the most homogeneous of societies and watch how quickly you begin to miss people who look different than you, act different than you, are extreme and weird or sophisticated and priceless.

Hmmm. Extreme might just be the word here. The idea that something is so far beyond the norm, it stands out to infinity and beyond (Buzz Light Year style).

Yeah ... I miss that feeling of seeing the extreme and not batting an eyelash.

Working from home when living in a foreign country

2010-08-26T11:47:00.005-04:00

When I tell people that I work from home the usual response is "Wow, you're so lucky. I wish I had that gig." Or something of that nature.

True, working from home definitely has its high points. I don't HAVE to wake up early, I don't deal with rush hour traffic (and in Santiago it's awful), I get to hang out with my dog all day long, even while I work and I never have to deal with sharing bathrooms with coworkers (and the discomfort and too-much-information THAT entails.) Among other things, of course.

I admit that when I told my company that I was moving to Chile, their response was better than what I had expected. "Work for us down in Chile." Sweet! After all, my position with them requires me to manage the Latin American region so the fact that I was moving to Chile (where we also have partners) made more sense than if I were moving to, say, The Netherlands. It definitely allowed me to cross one thing off the "to-do" list upon arrival, which was "find a job and a way to earn a living so you don't end up living in a van down by the river."*

However, as awesome as working from home can be, when you move to a new country, working from home actually TAKES AWAY the much needed social connections you are forced to have with coworkers when you work outside your home. Since I didn't have that on arrival, it took me much longer to make friends and, a year later and still working from home, I have friends of course but I'm sure I'd have a few more if I worked outside. Further, they'd probably be Chilean, something that's definitely lacking in the friend department for me right now.

In any case, I could go on and on detailing the pros and the cons of working from home, especially when throwing the fact that I'm new to the country into the mix. But, don't pictures speak louder than words? I was on Facebook last night and saw that a former colleague of mine in the U.S. posted a comic strip that accurately describes (visually, since it's what we all like) the good and the bad of working from home. I have to share it because, at least in my case, it's oh-so-true. Sweetly adorable, chocolate covered truth ... Check it out here. (Thanks to the creator of The Oatmeal comic strip for this and to my former coworker for sharing it on FB.)

[* This reference to Chris Farley's SNL character "Matt Foley, Motivational Speaker" will only make sense to those who 1) either appreciate all things SNL and therefore watch episodes regardless of date and time or 2) you watched SNL religiously during the late 90s, as I did. Here's a YouTube link for your viewing enjoyment. ]

"All 33 of us are fine in the shelter."

2010-08-25T09:26:00.004-04:00

I'm not the kind of person who is moved to tears easily. Unless I'm watching a cheesy commercial then of course, all bets are off and the waterworks begin. However, this story about the miners and how they were found to be alive after 17 days trapped 2,300 feet below ground, under the San Jose mine near Copiapo Chile, moved me. Of course I cried.

I cried because these human beings, after living 17 days in a small area I've read is similar to a "small flat," have genuine hope in their eyes. Putting myself in their position, in the faintest of ways, I'm sure I don't come close to the relief they felt when the probe finally reached them and they had the first opportunity to communicate with the world above. And they did so with the note above which simply reads "All 33 of us are fine in the shelter."

"Fine" is a relative term. They're fine relative to what the other option could have been which is ... a dreadful extreme. I always think logistics and really ridiculous details most of the time, though. In this case I wonder what it feels like for them to not shower, to not have a beer, to not watch soccer, to not smell freshly baked bread, to not drive ... to not change underwear, to not brush their teeth, to not hug their wives/girlfriends. Now that this has happened, do they regret the decision to work in the mines? Is that even an option for these experienced miners or is it just their way of life, the way trains or "ferrocarriles" were a way of life for my grandfather.

They haven't yet learned that it will take anywhere from 3-4 months to build a shaft wide enough to bring them up one by one. I was thinking that by the time this is finally accomplished, it will be Christmas time here ... isn't that perfect timing? Not for them though. I'm sure they wish they could be with their families for the upcoming Independence day celebrations (Chileans are a patriotic bunch, especially on the 18th of September and ESPECIALLY since this year marks 200 years since Chileans won their independence from Spain.) I'm sure they wish they could just have their own space, up top, right NOW.

How will they feel once they learn that they have to keep surviving, keep their sanity and keep each other going for at least three more months, probably four? Four months can fly but only with activity and experience. Four months ago it was April (the month I got married) and it definitely puts the length of four months into perspective.

When they pull the miners out one by one in December, flash forward to the future when you see those same images on a screen, reciting a story. This is for sure the story of a made-for-tv movie. Or a tell-all book. In the meantime, I hope the most basic of things for them right now - sanity and comradery.

Our trip to Pucón

2010-08-21T11:41:00.018-04:00

I’d been to Pucón a few years ago when my mother and I lived in the States and flew down to visit family. My cousin lived there at the time with her husband and though it was great to visit her and see a new part of Chile, I went when it was wet, cold, miserable and windy. Needless to say, I wasn’t sure I saw the hype in Pucón.

Fast forward four years later and G surprises me with a trip to Pucón to celebrate my 1-year anniversary in Chile. We arrived in Temuco on Friday and the weather was insanely beautiful – a complete 180 from my former experience there. The idea was to take a “transfer” or a cab to Pucón, which is about an hour/hour and a half from the airport in Temuco. I remembered having heard from various people that the best bet when traveling outside of Santiago was to rent a car and just follow your nose (it always knows) and so I suggested it to G, who immediately agreed.

One Hertz agreement later, we were off to the hotel Enjoy of Pucon. Since the Enjoy chains have a reputation for being new and hip, stocked with lively entertainment (all hotels boast casinos) we were pretty excited to have the best of all worlds: nightly entertainment, daily ski or spa trips and beautiful scenery everywhere. The 9th Region of Chile didn’t disappoint with its natural beauty and provincial ambience. Rows and rows of fields, topped with trees galore and speckled with livestock reminiscent of “The Famer in the Dell” : cows, lambs, pigs, horses … ahhhhh country. I never imagined I’d be stoked on it but after living in smog central for a year, I’m ALWAYS happy to leave the busy, dirty city behind for a few days.

Views on our drive from Temuco to Pucón. Cows are where it's at down there.

Lovely change from the Santiago traffic. Green everywhere and zero congestion.

High on fresh air and in the company of each other, G and I could not have been happier. We were excited to go skiing the next day, excited to venture out to unknown territories and excited to find hot springs to soak in until we pruned. Yeah … all that happiness came to screeching halt when we arrived at the Enjoy Pucón. It turns out, the Enjoy Pucón has only one thing that’s truly in line with the marketing and positioning of the Enjoy chain – the casino. It’s a brand new, asymmetrical building that definitely conveys the notion of a fun time to be had inside. HOWEVER … the hotel associated with this casino is actually the Gran Hotel Pucón and I’m not gonna lie: this hotel is older than my grandmother (if I had one). In fact, we later learned that its claim-to-fame is that Queen Elizabeth had stayed there. When? Circa 1962 when I could actually begin to imagine that the old, dilapidated hotel that stood before me was actually a grand hotel worthy of the word “grand” in the title? G and I don’t come from wealthy families and our upbringing could be described as middle-class AT BEST. Yet when we arrived, we realized that no matter what our background, silver spoons or no, the hotel was a joke. He was being charged a pretty hefty amount of money for a hotel whose lobby looked like a retirement home’s and whose rooms had a king size bed NEXT TO a twin size bed, covered in bedspreads that had me conjuring up images of Fräulein Maria making play clothes for the Von Trapp children in “The Sound of Music.” Not to mention, the bathroom had mold everywhere … Whether we’re annies or not, the fact of the matter was that G had paid for something promised in marketing, advertising and positioning messages of the Enjoy hotels. What we saw was completely the opposite. We checked in and immediately checked back out. (Thankfully the staff was very accommodating even if the rooms were hideous). There we were, G pissed and feeling like he had let me down (he hadn’t), no hotel room, hungry and with nowhere to go in the middle of Pucón. Standing outside in front of the car I said two things to G: “Thank goodness we rented a car” and “Later tonight, over a glass of wine, we’ll be laughing about this.” (At that moment he only agreed with the first statement.)

All’s well that ends well though. The truth of the matter is that we DID have a chuckle over the way our mini-vacation had started out. But things happen for a reason and it’s good to remember that no matter what one encounters, significant or not, things happen just as they should. G and I ended up staying at the Villarrica Park Lake Hotel, which was AMAZING … the joke being that the nightly rate at the 2nd hotel was less than at the Pucón Gran Hotel yet the amenities and the comfort can’t possibly be compared! The spa, the beds, the environment, the location and the views:

View from our hotel room's balcony at the Villarrica Park Hotel.

Which of course led to complete and total relaxation on said balcony.

The rest of our vacation included a trip up the Volcan Villarrica for some skiing … we actually snowboarded and though we had a really good time, it’s safe to say that we both suck at snowboarding. Yeah we looked cool with all the gear but it’s apparent we need at least 2 more runs up to the mountain before we can walk the walk we intend to talk on the subject of snowboarding. I’ll be fair and say that G actually did really well and I’m particularly excited that after trying both skiing and snowboarding, he’s agreed with me that snowboarding is a million times better. The ski resort itself is small but I actually really enjoyed it – much more than Valle Nevado, simply because there was less people. The lift is a pretty long one since the actual slopes are further up the mountain than where the equipment is rented but it provides an amazing view of the lakes surrounding the volcano.

The lifts and the view of Lake Villarrica in the background (pic taken from the mountain).

Someone looking like he knows a thing or two about snowboarding, despite being a first-timer.

Which is a hell of a lot more than I can say for myself (and I've snowboarded before!)

Our last day in Pucón was dedicated to submerging ourselves in water and floating until we wrinkled like little prunes. Mission accomplished with Termas Geometricas and Termas Menetue. We first went to Termas Geometricas and all I can say is WOW. Words can't really do it justice so I'll provide pictures. At one point, it actually started SNOWING while we were in the water and it was as if we were in the middle of someone's movie shoot. Walking through the termas, I felt like I was in The Shire of "Lord of the Rings." Just serenely, beautifully, naturally amazing and wonderful. I highly suggest.

Just one of many pools in the termas, containing water ranging from 4 - 40 degrees Celsius.

Adding to the already-cool environment: snow.

You might be wondering if we were freezing before and after getting in the water (and more so, after.) The reality is that it's not that cold at all. Your body temperature rises enough so that when you step out and go to another pool, you aren't freezing. By the time you submerge again, you barely remembered if it was cold or not.

After that, we headed to Termas Menetue, which I had actually been to when I first visited Pucón. I wouldn't say that these "termas" were bad because that would be a complete lie. In fact, they're a great option for families and those who wish to actually stay overnight (or a few nights) because they have a hotel/resort right on site. The thing is that after Termas Geometricas, it was really hard to adjust to a very family-friendly environment. In short, it was simply a completely different experience to be had: one was definitely more in line with nature and a rustic outdoor experience, while the other (Menetue) had enclosed "piscinas termales" (or pools with thermal water) and with a completely different target audience in mind (hence so many families). There is an "adults only" area which was recently opened (two years ago, I believe) and it was definitely nice but to arrive you had to venture through the kid friendly pool area and that was pure chaos! Their spa, where G and I each received massages (his with a Reiki session) was nice, albeit small, though again, it's based on the comparison with the spa in our hotel. It seems unfortunate that our experience at Menetue was overshadowed by comparisons of the experiences we had just hours before, but despite our personal experience, I do believe that on its own, Menetue is a great place. Even more so if you have kids.

By the time our mini-getaway ended we had pampered ourselves into a relaxation coma. Thermal waters, massages, spas, nature = one happy couple and one relaxed G (he's the most stressed of the two of us.) I was (and am) so grateful for the gesture on his part and that his gift included one more gift incognito: the fact that he took two days off work to travel with me. That itself is amazing because my dear husband is the epitome of a workaholic. In fact, he had barely signed his name on the credit card slip during the check out when I caught him in the middle of what he does most: work.

Pic taken in the hotel lobby before hopping in the car to head to the Temuco airport.

It served to remind me that the true gift in all of the above was the time he took to be away from his job to actually enjoy the trip with me and to completely disconnect himself from work.

On a final note, um, can I just say THANK GOD I don't live outside Santiago ... and I mean absolutely no offense to those who do because trust me, I'm the first to value your way of life in compared to mine. But when it comes to the little things, towns outside the big city just function at their own pace and on their own time. Example - we arrived at the airport relatively early because we thought we could grab a bite to eat before taking off. Oh no, no, no. Temuco Airport is having none of that. The flight to Santiago departed from Temuco at 4:50 pm and the airport shops, airline counters and lone restaurant opened at 3:30 pm. Before that, this is what it looked like:

Believe it or not, this picture is actually almost of the ENTIRE airport. It's that small.

Oh Provincia (as the towns outside Santiago are known). I know that for the small towns this mode of operation makes total sense. After all, what's the point of having an airport running at 100% when only 5 flights arrive per day? It was still a minor inconvenience to the two big-city dwellers who were hoping to eat at the airport and who didn't eat breakfast in hopes of just that. I learned that next time we need to stop in Temuco to get a bite to eat and arrive at the airport at exactly 20 minutes before boarding. I highly suggest you do the same.

I'll conclude by saying that this part of Chile is amazing - something I'm sure that most people who are planning a trip down here already know. I was very much impressed by the nature, the people and the environment in general. It was a fabulous break from the all-too-often grimy and stressful Santiago living and it made me hungry for more adventures of the sort. I love it when I realize that Chile can be (and on many occasions, IS) a pretty cool place to live.

The promise-to-write-more-soon post

2010-08-17T22:51:00.012-04:00

I'm in a tizzy.

But more importantly, I'm sleepy and can't possibly write more than what I'm about to write, so don't hold your breath that this blog entry is going to be life altering. (That was a few posts ago and apparently, it seems you've missed it.)

I kid.

Seriously though ... I'm writing from my hotel room in Sao Paulo right now where I'm eyeballing that bed over yonder that's looking ever-so-cozy right about now. It's been a long day. After a whirlwind arrival from Pucon, which is where G and I went this past weekend for some skiing and some hot spring submersion, I hopped another flight to the land of the happy people, otherwise known as Brazil.

I just want to jot down a few things that I want to touch base on in full detail post this Brazilian business trip. Call it a teaser for you avid readers out there (you know who you are ... all 10 of you!)

In no particular order:

Termas Geometricas:

Our hotel in Pucon/Villarrica (before AND after):

The Lake Region in the South of Chile:

The fact that I'll most likely be failing out of my masters program next week:

Life (as I see it) outside of Santiago as suggested by this shot of the Temuco airport at mid-day:

Me. Snowboarding...

...on Villarrica's volcano ...

Until I can give the proper attention due to all of the above, I'll miss you snoochie-boochies. Don't forget about me during this week's hiatus!

Epic fail

2010-08-12T10:39:00.004-04:00

I'm not gonna sugar coat it for you. I suck at taking tests. I mean, who knows, maybe I'm just really, really dumb but I'd like to give myself a little more credit than that, considering I've made it this far in life and I'm still intact. Also, I've witnessed some mad problem-solving skills in real life come out of this brain of mine and trust me, there's a thing or two going on up there. Thus, all I can conclude is that I'm just a terrible test taker. Or I'm having a stupid week.

I'm sure I'm not alone.

I had a record-breaking two bombs explode in less than five minutes this past Tuesday: 1) a quiz on four chapters we had to read and my subsequent reaction to it, and 2) our Module II final exam grades were announced.

Which of the two proved I had a momentarily lapse in intelligence?

In reference to #1, I knew the quiz was coming and my group decided to divide the reading assignments - four of us, four chapters. I had the chapter on competition among business/industries and competitive strategies and I think I did a pretty good job of summing up 30+ pages on how businesses compete. Talk about sugar coating! There was certainly little I could to to make that chapter any more fun to swallow. I received the summaries from my group and of course they were all good ... I studied as much as I could considering life, work, my (sometimes dumb) dog and other school projects tend to get in the way. In fact, the Friday before this dumb quiz, we had a 9+ hour brand management simulation where our main objective was to achieve the highest net sales and highest stock price compared to the other groups. And of course, all this decision making, strategy and planning resulted in a final grade that accounts for XX% of our final grade in the course. Hello - other things to think about besides the stupid 4 chapters we had to read for Tuesday's quiz!!

When Tuesday morning arrived and as I walked into class, I knew I wasn't going to prove anything that morning when taking the quiz. I certainly wasn't going to prove I was the new "matea" (star student) of the class. However, I wasn't prepared to not be able to answer either of the two questions in the most minimal of senses. When the paper landed in front of me, I stared at it for the 30-minute time limit the professor gave us. Just stared and stared and stared. I couldn't believe that even though one of the questions was based on competition between business/industries, the topic I had to cover for my team, I still couldn't - for the life of me - remember one single possible answer. Not even to B.S. my way through it!! I resigned myself to the fact that I had reached an all-time new low in my test-taking experience.

When I was in grade school I remember going through the same thing. Preparing (or so I thought) for a test and realizing, upon receiving the actual document, that I may as well have studied the steps required to perform a lobotomy because none of the questions looked familiar to me. And I would squeeze the pencil in my hand and proceed to cry. Not because I was sad, but because I was frustrated and wanted to scream. Crying was the only proper solution to that considering I was in a class full of kids who all seemed to know the required steps in performing a lobotomy (so to speak.) And as dumb luck would have it, I seemed to always be seated next to the proper "mateo" in class and that only pissed me off even more! What the hell was he writing so much about??!!

Anyway, this past Tuesday, I went through a similar thing. Except I didn't cry. I decided I couldn't very well hand in a blank piece of a paper. It was one thing to not know the answer, it was quite another to not even try. I decided to land somewhere in between both and wrote the following, in English, on the very first page:

"There is no way I could memorize all of this and I'd much rather focus my time on my marketing project. :o) I did read though."

It's not funny, nor is it clever ... and it wasn't even written in SPANISH! I'm not sure what possessed me to write something so lame and pretty much inexcusable ... I'm in grad school, not 8th grade! All I can conjure up is that I was feeling lame and stupid, coupled with defiant and rebellious because I didn't want another Chilean institution making me feel like a complete incompetent. And this was my attempt at delivering the "I'll show you" message, which of course, isn't the right message at all. Geez, if anything, I may have gotten half a point for writing a marketing message that was a little more convincing - of anything!!

Ugh.

To make matters worse (because sometimes that's the only way matters seem to work), I received my final exam grade for the 2nd Module of the course and my grade on the Finance section was so low, I need to take that part again! The silver lining is that pretty much the entire class has to retake it because everyone's grades were ultra low. Those who managed to pass did so just barely ... At least in that case I'm not the dumb a** who stands alone, like the cheese in Farmer in the Dell.

The moral of this blog entry is this: I'm having a stupid week. At least I hope it's just a week. It's one thing to study, take the test and ultimately not do well; it's quite another to write 8th grade messages on my grad school quizzes like a whiny teenager. In any case, it seems my stupidity roll is coming to an end because I did learn my lesson about doing such lame things in an academic setting.

Geez, why can't I do smarter rebellious things on campus? Next time, I'll engage in proper defiance suitable for the likes of a prestigious academic setting and invite everyone to go streaking across campus like Frank the Tank.

Peacing out of this joint

2010-08-09T16:14:00.003-04:00

I'm sure that expats everywhere have those days when you all of sudden TRULY wonder just what the hell you're doing in your host country. Any backwards, freaky, scary or frustrating experience can trigger it and though I have days when I am pretty convinced everyone in this country has got it all wrong, last Wednesday I hit a limit with Chile and was about one online purchase away from hopping the first one-way flight back to SFO, bulldog in tow (naturally).

I'll spare you the details and play-by-play's of what happened that consequently pushed me over the edge, but suffice it to say that it entailed Chileans and their oh-so-wonderful ways behind the wheel and on the road. I made detailed references to some examples of their bad habits back in June but on Wednesday it was so bad, so rude, so frustrating and so unfair that I couldn't imagine living another day in this country, with these people who apparently go out of their way to make you feel bad. Mind you, this is how it felt on Wednesday when it was literally happening just like that: some guy going out of his way to make me feel bad for something that wasn't my fault. Do people like him really exist out there and why is it that I have to have the misfortune of crossing paths with them? To make matters worse, it would seem that about 85% of the men in this country are convinced that women are hands down horrible drivers. So you can imagine my horror, my raw, irrational frustration with this guy who not only wanted to make me feel bad but who also went wild insulting my gender!

Of course there are all kinds of drivers and the term "bad driver" is also really relative. I happen to think that someone who manages to maneuver around cars in order to cross a recently-turned-red light is a pretty bad driver. Maybe some idiot guy would think that's a "capo" (capable) driver. Po-tay-toe, Po-tah-toe. Back home I happened to think anyone could fall into the bad driver category: me, you, women, men, African Americans, Chinese, Japanese, Indian, Malaysian, Greek, Jews, Italians - and so on. I was an equal opportunity labeler of bad drivers and gave no regard to sex, religion, race or political party. The problem in Chile then is that it's SUCH A HOMOGENEOUS country they can only categorize and label based on sex: man = good driver; woman = bad driver. This annoying belief which happens to be embedded into the psyche of the general male population here is what truly had me at the point of packing my bags less than a week ago.

When I lived back home, I remember meeting expats from Chile who had relocated in California because of jobs, schools or in general, in an attempt to better themselves one way or another. Many of them found California, the Bay Area, to be really backwards. Gringos were considered "cold" and "too busy" to bother with each other. We were the type who seemed to only care about money and our jobs and didn't take time to be with family or with our neighbors. Many were surprised to realize that they would never really know if they had neighbors in their U.S. apartment buildings or not. They were also taken aback by how restrictive California seemed: last call at bars at 1:30 a.m., no smoking anywhere and don't even THINK about littering or jay walking or a ticket would surely slap you silly across the face (in fact, my mom got a ticket for jay walking once, after having lived there more than 20 years). "Que cuaticos son los gringos!" or basically that we make mountains out of mole hills and dramatize even the smallest of things. So we were square, workaholics who didn't like to really party, who cared more about our environment (and dogs) than we did about forming bonds with the newly arrived Chileans who were calling California their home. In fact, I remember many Chileans I had met going back home to Chile only to later find out from one of their family members that he or she "just couldn't adapt to the U.S. way of life."

Aside from the horrible way Chileans drive and the despicable view on women drivers, my problem with Chile is that I don't quite get their priorities. What makes them work? What's really important (and of course I mean besides faith and family because I realize that's a given here.) In the Bay Area I can tell you it's about being the most successful, the healthiest, the most giving and socially conscious you can be, the customer is (almost) always right ... all that and of course vacations are a big deal to Californians too, whether fancy or simple camping. Many other things are important but these are some examples. What's a big deal here in Chile? ... it's so bizarre what people will truly give you a hard time about and THAT'S what makes living here so hard sometimes.

Why is it that at Starbucks they make a fuss about giving you a sleeve for your coffee, stating that only customers who order drinks "extra hot" are entitled to said sleeve? What part of their brains makes saying "no" to a customer whose hand is burning such a priority? And what part of their brains justifies offering a whole cup to put under the original cup as the solution? Don't they know that a cup is much more expensive to the company than the sleeve? What's the priority there? Who are they making the priority? Why spend the 15 minutes arguing about this when handing a sleeve is all it would take to make the customer happy and to get him out of the employee's face STAT?

Why is it that when I run on the path designated for bikes (for all of a few seconds so I can run around others who are in the way of my regular path), twice already I've had people yell at me to get off since it's "for bikes only." Why do they care? Since when are rules so respected here that I need to get yelled at repeatedly for making my way around those who are going a tad slower than me?

Are Chilean societal priorities like restricción vehicular? [In Santiago there is a system known as “restricción vehicular” where private vehicles may not be driven on certain days, defined by the final digit of their license plates. Failure to comply with this restriction is punishable by fines.] See, if I had the legend to when certain things are enforced and when they are disregarded here, I would probably have less and less "F-U Chile, I'm peacing out" moments. In fact, it would make adapting here a much smoother process for expats like me and trust me, it would make us less "weird" to everyone else. If cars have a legend that tells them when they can and can't be driven depending on the day of the week, I'm sure we can come up with something similar so that I can go about my daily life in a much more relaxed manner.

Here's what I'm envisioning as regular, daily enforced priorities:

Monday

This is the day when customer service is put on the back burner. If you just paid US$30 for lip gloss, you're absolutely not entitled to one-on-one service at the cash register and you are definitely not entitled to eye contact or to the asking of any questions. In fact, we aren't sure why we're the ones having to ring you up. This place better get self-serve registers pronto.

Tuesday
Today we're focused on denying any requests for anything extra at restaurants or coffee shops. If you want a sleeve for that steaming cup of coffee that's currently causing blisters on your palm, you're going to want to ask for that little number "extra hot." Said request on your part will undermine any rule we have regarding sleeves.

Wednesday
No matter what you do, today is the day Santiago has decided that you are the biggest moron it has driving around its streets. If you happen to be following transit laws to a tee, we've decided that you are supposed to have skipped the odd numbered pages on that guide so anything covered on those pages is currently disregarded today. If you violate this decision on our part then today also states that anyone, anywhere can yell at you and make you feel dumb. If you happen to be a woman, said badgering will happen for more than 5 minutes and we reserve the right to insult your entire gender.

Thursday
In any type of office or retail environment, today is the day we focus on telling you exactly the opposite of what we told you two days ago when you came in. If we told you that your pants were ready today, we actually meant Monday. If we told you that you didn't owe money to the I.R.S. equivalent, actually we changed our minds and you do - double the amount previously thought. If you called and asked us if we had XYZ product/service before making the 40 minute trek to our store/office, we lied. Sorry!

Friday
Today is the day dedicated to random conversations and spontaneous sharing of too much information, sometimes by complete strangers. If you happen to be standing alone, or even if you're with a friend, it's more than likely someone will come up and start a conversation as if halfway through. Or you might run into your mom's best friend's great-aunt. Be sure to pay special attention and nod accordingly lest you offend the person sharing the story about the boil that developed right over his tailbone, which is now gone, thanks to the neighbor's son who was visiting from the south where he goes to medical school. Upon concluding the random information sharing, the person may invite you over to his/her house for "once" (tea) but don't worry, this is just his/her way of saying bye. For the LOVE OF PETE don't actually confirm your attendance to said "once." That would just be really weird of you.

Saturday & Sunday
Free-for-all, anything goes. Though note that these days there are always ample amounts of staring and bad customer service. Regardless of your reaction to anything on these days, note that 85% of the time we're right and you're wrong. However we're happy to offer you the following: specifically on Sundays, we're committed to making your driving experience in Santiago pleasant and accommodating. Since most of us aren't out driving around OR we happen to already be at the mall, the streets will be pretty empty so LIVE IT UP out there! It's our thanks to you for choosing Chile as your home.
We hope you enjoy your weekend with your family. God bless!

Children's Day (Día del Niño) - friend or foe?

2010-08-02T15:20:00.007-04:00

In my attempt to understand the concept of Children's Day (Día del Niño) which seems to be a big deal in many Latin American countries, I took to the Internet. I found out that Children's Day is an idea adopted by the United Nations General Assembly in 1954. The main message of this day is to recognize children, pay homage to their importance in society, and endorses their well being. Politically speaking, the idea of Children's Day was enforced to promote the rights of all children around the world.

The Declaration of Rights of a Child, simply put:

1. All children have the right to what follows, no matter what their race, color sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, or where they were born or who they were born to.

2. You have the special right to grow up and to develop physically and spiritually in a healthy and normal way, free and with dignity.

3. You have a right to a name and to be a member of a country.

4. You have a right to special care and protection and to good food, housing and medical services.

5. You have the right to special care if handicapped in any way.

6. You have the right to love and understanding, preferably from parents and family, but from the government where these cannot help.

7.You have the right to go to school for free, to play, and to have an equal chance to develop yourself and to learn to be responsible and useful. Your parents have special responsibilities for your education and guidance.

8. You have the right always to be among the first to get help.

9. You have the right to be protected against cruel acts or exploitation, e.g. you shall not be obliged to do work which hinders your development both physically and mentally. You should not work before a minimum age and never when that would hinder your health, and your moral and physical development.

10. You should be taught peace, understanding, tolerance and friendship among all people.

I completely and totally agree with these rights granted to all children around the world and further, would personally work vehemently to always ensure that children are protected from any and all types of harm. In addition, I agree with the general mission of the UN's General Assembly's purpose behind promoting a Children's Day: "a day of worldwide fraternity and understanding between children."

Truly it's a great principle, great mission, aims to teach great values and promotes the fraternity among children and the safekeeping of all children. What cold be wrong with Children's Day??

I'll tell you: the retailers and their aim to make you feel like a guilty mofo if you don't go out and get your kids presents they've come to expect. These retailers, and their marketing strategy, aim to make you out as the best parent/uncle/grandparent/cousin/friend/what-have-you if you buy the child the latest and greatest gadget "available only at XYZ store" and for a "limited time." The underlying message here is that if you don't go out and buy said toy or gadget, you're weird and plain wicked for not appreciating kids and how important they are to society.

Oh but the retailers aren't at fault, really. Society believes the hype as we believe the hype about Christmas and birthdays and Valentine's Day. If you were to encounter someone who say, never celebrated birthdays or gave gifts on someone's birthday, I'm sure we'd all conclude the guy/woman is a nut and carry on our merry way. In this case, I'm the nut because in the States, I don't recall ever celebrating - or even hearing about - Children's Day. As I got older and began to work in the children's entertainment industry, from a revenue generating level, I welcomed Children's Day in other territories as a prime time to make some "holiday" cash by selling our goods and helping my bottom line. See? Even I succumbed to the hype surrounding Children's Day, only it was from the worst angle possible! Using their desires to generate income for a business purpose. Ugly, to say the least.

From a more objective perspective one thing is decidedly clear: based on the advertisements I see on tv and in print, it appears that the Chilean retailers don't embrace the true nature of Children's Day. Perhaps they don't because the consumer goes out and buys what's necessary because it's what has always occurred and what's expected. I certainly get the retailer side of things and the fact that it's all based on the general public's actions and needs. I wonder if I'll even see some kind of organized activity that truly embraces the nature of Children's Day as the UN General Assembly had hoped: promoting fraternity and understanding between children.

Obviously I'm the big weirdo fighting the power here, and I'm ok with that. I stated on Facebook that I was anti-Children's Day and I'm sure more people than not thought I was a b*tch for writing that. The thing is, I'm fine with being a weirdo because after some researching, I'm even more adamant about NOT going out and buying kids gifts this coming Sunday! Yes it's partly due to having never celebrated Children's Day growing up (though believe it or not, there IS an actual date dedicated to this back home) and yes, it's partly due to not having kids of my own. But having worked in the children's entertainment field, I can completely and totally attest that this day is nothing more than a marketing scheme embraced by retailers and all companies that make and sell children's products. They all want to make a buck off you. Sorry dear parents, but it's true. Much like Christmas and what it's become to those who aren't really celebrating family and/or the birth of Jesus Christ.

Someday in the future this will become a point of contention between G and me. We're taking his kids snowboarding this weekend, which in my humble, non-parent opinion should suffice as celebration for their contribution to society and their mere existence. But of course, we were at the mall yesterday and he got them each a gift for Sunday as well. So be it. They aren't my kids and I'm not about to force my wild opinions on him and influence how he is as a father to them.

But trust me. Someday with my own kids I hope to make Children's Day more about getting along with other kids and less about what the hell I can buy them at Falabella or Jumbo.

Call me crazy.

Gradutate School in Chile, Part I

2010-07-28T22:11:00.005-04:00

Higher education in Chile is blowing my mind.

I can't decide if it's because my undergrad college choice was as poor or if my undergrad major was poor. Perhaps it's a combination of both. What's clear to me now is this: I'm in my first year of a Masters in Marketing here in Chile and I've learned more in the past three months than I learned in my entire four years of college back home.

The marketing program I'm doing is divided into two years: the first year results in what is called a "Diplomado" which is a mini-degree of sorts. Not quite a Masters but definitely considered post-graduate studies. Upon completing the second year, you're granted a Masters. The good thing is that I can finish my first year and decide to return for my second year FIVE YEARS from now and I'll still be able to follow the initial rhythm. For obvious reasons, I wouldn't wait that long (I might forget everything!) though I'm still debating if I'll do my 2nd year right away.

Anyway, in short I'm very happy I decided to do this because I'm learning things I never knew! And now that I think about it, I wonder how many of my friends knew things I now know, but back before I didn't know them? For instance, and the most basic of all concepts, when I imagine the word "marketing" I imagined the advertisement of a certain product or service, the commercial, the little picture you saw in the grocery store, the slogan or the Buy-One-Get-One-Free gimmicks associated with a product. But that's not it at all. Marketing is as simple as this: creating a need in the mind of the consumer and satisfying that need, all the while reaching sales goals established by your company. And that pretty much sums it up.

Education here (as I've experienced it thus far, mind you) is much more structured than I remember undergrad in California to be. There's a process and an evolution and the idea that one thing is connected to the other. First we learned about Marketing as a concept in general; creating added value for the consumer, the internal client and the external client, what's involved in a sales strategy vs what's involved in a marketing plan. We talked about how different products in the same company can mean different things to that company and that in and of itself, require completely different strategies (think toothpaste, dental floss and mouthwash, all under the umbrella of the Colgate-Palmolive company. All three mean different things to them.)

This was then followed by more detailed business concepts in general. Examples: overview in Statistics (for the purposes of market studies), Finance, the mind of the consumer and what propels him/her to purchase something, and finally, an overview on the different kinds of Market Research tools available to companies. We're in Module III now (the year has 4 in total) and from what I can tell, we're looking at things from an eagle's eye view with the purpose of applying everything we learned in Modules I and II and honing them.

While I had heard and read about SWOT analyzes, I had never done one until Module I when we had to read a case study on the car company, Renault (unheard of in the States, I know.) I was on my mini-moon in NYC and I had to work remotely with my assigned group for the year to deliver on what was expected of us the following week. I bugged G a lot during that time because NOTHING made any sense to me. The 4 Ps? What'sthat? (Now I know). SWOT analysis - um how do I begin do that with this car company I've never even heard of? I was convinced I was the dumbest person in class.

We've read and done analysis on topics such as Harley Davidson (you tell me: what do they sell?), an XYZ Argentine textile company, Hummer and their H1 model, Mattel and their marketing of toys to boys vs. girls. We've seen examples of how different products aim to strike at the different motivators within people (i.e. are you motivated to be a good mother? Are you motivated to belong? Are you motivated with the idea of a certain status?) and learned how the Coca Cola company has been able to target all IN ONE COMMERCIAL, one message. And coming up soon, we'll all be behind computers, with our groups, doing a Product Management Simulation game which will supposedly drive home the 4 P's of marketing, all the while teaching us about brand equity and marketing planning for a product/product lines. The objective of this simulation "game" is to have the highest net worth and highest company stock price compared to the other groups in our class.

And the cherry on top is this: we have a year-long project where we have to present a marketing proposal for a business or product of our choice. And I cannot tell you the amount of research and work this involves. Let me just say that I know way more about our chosen topic than I ever cared to know ....

Wait, what?? I sound all professional and sh*t.

But that's the point, right? That's why I'm paying over US$800 each month and that's why I deal with having to write PAPERS and work with my team to produce presentations that demonstrate things we've been learning since early April. So that tomorrow (whenever that may be) I'll be an added value myself to whatever company I'm working for at the time.

It does make me wonder if undergrad in Chile is just as structured as Graduate school seems to be. If it is, then it would result in candidates who are a million times more prepared and better educated than those of the United States. I wonder this recognizing that I have absolutely no basis for comparison on either, really. I never attended undergrad here and didn't attend Graduate school there. But should my theory be correct, and Chile does produce people better equipped to enter the work force, it would explain why the labor market (at an executive level) is so competitive here.

I'm even more inclined to think that the public undergrad education I received back home was less than stellar (and I repeat, this could be due to my poor choices on institution and matter) when I hear my fellow Grad School classmates complain about the low quality education we're currently receiving at one of the most expensive, most prestigious universities in Chile (and in Latin America for that matter.) To be fair, I do agree that too much information is being crammed into a period of time that is much too short. After all, I do believe that an "overview" of Finance should entail more than 7 hours of class and that said overview should include more than the Balance Sheet and General Ledger. But if many of my classmates feel and truly believe that in some ways we're being "cheated" of a good education right now, what does that imply about their experiences in undergrad? Here I am just amazed at how structured and plentiful the education is and they're saying that what we're learning - and mainly how we're learning it - is a crock! Certainly an example of looking at two different sides of the same coin.

In the end, there IS one thing that remains consistent with what I believe about higher education in the States. The name - the BRAND, if you will - truly matters. Can we deny that there are many who choose Stanford, Duke, Harvard, Brown, Berkeley and on, primarily for what that name implies to others once they've graduated? I believe the majority of us followed the same road when choosing where we'd receive our graduate studies. We looked at our options here in Chile, figured out the top three and opted for the best in this particular field (Marketing/Business.)

So even if some would argue that the system is a crock (as you read, I don't agree), aren't we truly then just paying for the name of the university and all that it implies? Discuss.

(Playing devil's advocate and answering yes to the question stated above, from a marketing standpoint, it would seem my university has done wonders.)

My history in music

2010-07-27T15:53:00.006-04:00

I can't believe that I haven't written a single blog post about music to file under my so-called "general malaise of irrelevant topics" that "I trust you'll enjoy." To quote myself. [For those out there just itching to read about my version of Chilean life, don't worry. I have a blog brewing on my experience in Graduate studies in good ol' Chilsters due up next.]

Now, I'm not about to proclaim that I'm anywhere near being a music guru and I am certainly no Rob Gordon (John Cusack's character in "High Fidelity," which, by the way, if you haven't seen it, get off this blog and go watch it immediately. You'll thank me later.) With that disclaimer in full effect, I can attest that music has always been central to my life and many times, I find that I can remember certain periods in my life just by the music that's playing. Also, depending on the type of music, I can even remember the point in time, historically speaking, in which it was released (or at least, was popular to me.) A great example of that was Madonna's "Like a Virgin" album which was released in 1984, when I was a wee tyke of 7. I remember the MTV Music Video Awards when she did that risque song on stage. Pure art.

The first song I'd like to highlight from my past is one from ABBA. Man, did my mom LOVE that group and I can't begin to tell you HOW MANY TIMES, I heard this song:

My mom obsessed doesn't begin to cover it.

As I grew up (in the 80s, mind you), cheesy 80s love songs were released by the multitude. Elton John, Air Supply, Chicago, Stevie Wonder, Atlantic Star, Billy Ocean, Lionel Richie and many, many more flood my early 80s memories and none more so than this one:

I actually owned this cassette and played this song on repeat, just as my mom had done with ABBA. Obviously, I learned it from her. Play, Repeat.

My most significant music memories during the late 80s were related to Poison, George Micheal's "Faith" album, Madonna, Guns n' Roses, Bon Jovi ("Wanted Dead or Alive" poignantly stands out in my mind), and of course New Kids on the Block. (Don't ask me what one had to do with the other as it made perfect sense to me to like all of the above at the same time. ) The late 80s also weaved in some Paula Abdul...

...and this particular song was quite popular when I was in 7th(ish) grade because the popular radio station back then, X-100, had a DJ named "Super Snake" and as you can imagine he was in his 7th Heaven with this particular song and as such, he played it constantly. Naturally I danced to it like mad in my room and watched the video incessantly. And for all my younger peeps out there, yes, Paula had a career before American Idol even became a pilot being pitched to Fox.

Believe it or not, it was also around this time that an 8th grade friend of mine introduced me to N.W.A. and I was so moved by the sheer naughtiness of the lyrics that I immediately went out and bought myself their "Straight Outta Compton" album (on cassette, of course) and I've since then been a fan of that particular release.

Then the early 90s hit and it seems to me that his was the time when Rap and Hip & Hop were beginning to inch their way from the city streets to middle-class suburbia and beyond. Bel Biv DeVoe were immensely popular in the early 90s and as horny little 8th grade kids attending school dances, we were all about "freaking" to this song ...

and need I remind you all of this song, which came out during my 8th grade year (1990-1991)...

Yo, VIP!

As you can see, and as I recall, during this time, the good came with the bad. Boys II Men came out during this time and they made singing a Capella pretty damn awesome and not to mention, popular. But the bad came with the likes of Right Said Fred and their "I'm Too Sexy" which seemed to take the country, and definitely my high school, by storm.

But how can we even mention the early 90s without highlighting the two most important music genres to come out of that decade: Grunge / Alternative Rock and Gangster Rap. Loves and loves!

Anyone who remotely knows me, knows that I have an affinity to all things Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre and Tupack Shakur. Frankly, with musical geniuses such as these, how can one not? As I mentioned, I had dabbled in some of Dr. Dre's earlier work with N.W.A. but his collaboration with the likes of Snoop Dogg seriously blows my rap-inclined mind.

On the other side of this coin lies the influence of grunge music on my life at the time. I can't say that I was fully anti-establishment and it's not like I threw my school work out the window and blew the joint to go out and buy Doc Martens. I was never a big fan of Alice In Chains but particularly enjoyed Soundgarden, Pearl Jam and Nirvana and did my part in wearing cut off shorts with thermals underneath, v-neck tshirts, flannel shirts and in sum, look like a total mess.

By the time I graduated high school, the gangster rap genre had evolved a bit to include the likes of Coolio...

[Incidentally, the library scenes of this movie were filmed at my high school.]

...and also included the fun-loving Naughty By Nature.

When I started college, alternative rock was in all its glory: Bush, Butthole Surfers, Weezer, STP, Sonic Youth, Beck, PJ Harvey and the like were our cups of tea.

But nothing (and no one) takes me back to the early days of college like this group:

A simple message really ... life IS too short, so love the one you've got.

College progressed, great songs were released: "A Long December" by the Counting Crows, "Love Rollercoaster" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Criminal" by Fiona Apple and of course, Dave Matthews Band became wildly popular. All of the above marked me in some way but two of the songs that stand out the most from those days in the late 90s are ones that were actually released DECADES before ...

and

And every time, these songs take me back to driving on the California roads, dancing (or grooving) in the car with my best friends, sun overhead and our hair blowing.

The remainder of college contained music from Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, Smashmouth, Ricky Martin, Destiny's Child, TLC, Blink 182 to name just a very few that I was particular keen on. Grunge and even Alternative Rock had subsided and with the likes of Eminem, a funnier version of Gangster Rap emerged...

And from then on, I of course became a fan of the Dr. Dre protégé!

Sigh. This felt good. I like looking at snapshots in time via music that touched me in some way. There is SO MUCH MORE too! "Son of a Preacher Man" was a huge deal for us after the movie "Pulp Fiction" came out and in fact, that whole soundtrack was a must-have at our college parties. Then there's the music associated with the ex boyfriends, whether my own or that of my best friend's (we each made the other listen to music relevant to our romantic relationships.) And I feel like I hardly touched on the pop music scene that exploded with the inception of "Hit Me One More Time" by Britney Spears. But honestly, who has the time for all that? I could on and you could go on reading and we'd both get nowhere relevant to the now.

But now that I think about it ... if I was able to spark a little something in you, a memory, an "I remember that song!" exclamation of some sort ... or better yet, if I motivated you to go back and dig up some old tunes anywhere, even via You Tube, I feel immensely satisfied as I feel I've done this world some service. Again, by no means do I claim to be a musical genius and I'm quite aware that you are much more likely to have further, more elaborate insight on the music of our generation.

I hope you share it with me and others. Sharing music and living music, whatever strikes your fancy, is a-ok with me. To conclude, I'll circle back to the beginning and leave you with one last song from ABBA that really quite sums it up. At least for me.

[p.s. These You Tube videos seriously crack me up. Especially the first ABBA video with the snowman!]

Confessions of an ex-girlfriend

2010-07-21T13:06:00.004-04:00

Earlier this week I had some time on my hands (as I was trying to avoid studying) and so I began Facebook check-in's with my friends and acquaintances. I do this every so often just to see who's had a kid, who's getting married, who's bought a house, who's sick and who's annoyed with work (and to what degree.) It's good reading and I highly suggest it, though highly recommend you stick to people you know otherwise you cross the line into weirdo territory. I digress.

Anyhoosers, as I was doing this, I came across someone who is FB friends with an ex's family member and I was immediately hauled back to memory lane recalling how God-awful that ex was and seriously took a second to THANK GOD I was no longer in that atrocious relationship.

From there (again, all in an effort to avoid studying for this upcoming exam on Saturday morning), I decided to take a moment in my happily married life and contemplate the road I walked (or crawled depending on the relationship) to get right where I am at this very second. It's good to reflect on where you've been, if only to cherish even more where you are. Another thing I highly suggest and not just with ex's but in all aspects of life.

I was always a long-term relationship kind of girl, beginning with my first boyfriend ever which I "dated" for about a year and half. I say "dated" because when you're 15-17 years old, how much of this is really, truly dating ... isn't it more like, obsessing about one another, feeling sick with insecurity and locking lips? Or is that just me? He broke up with me to date a girl from another high school and as a result, I remember being traumatized and stripped of any desire to get out of bed. That lasted about two months, as I listed to Pearl Jam's "Black" on repeat (CDs were widespread then so it was easy to just press one button and instantly hear the anthem of my broken heart.) It was that or Guns n' Roses "Don't Cry." What can I say? My 17 year old heart was shattered - and worse! It had been replaced by a girl at another high school!! I remember doing some questionable investigating to find out how they had met in the first place and I came to find out they had met at the gym. The gym! I didn't even own running shoes...

Boyfriend #2, looking back, I can now identify as a creep-o with an inferiority complex so severe, he actually chose to date me, someone 7 years his junior! I was still in high school, he was a college drop out. Need I say more? In short, looking back, the me-now can definitely identify the him-then as a Grade-A LOSER ... but the me-then didn't know that. I blame him, really. Shouldn't he have pointed out that an 18 year-old should be hanging out with other 18 year-olds? He was a nice enough guy, helped me with term papers and the like, but his antisocial antics got old AND the fact that he lived at home and didn't have a job became beyond embarrassing. We broke up after about 3 years when I finally met someone closer to my age with the same values as me (hi, work ethic anyone?) and who would actually hang out with my friends. I felt like I had struck gold!

Boyfriend #3 was fun, smart, came from a good family, and was a lovely boyfriend for the year we dated. In fact, I'm FB friends with him! He's married now and has a very cute daughter and in short, looks very happy and I'm happy FOR him. Seriously, the only bad thing I can say about that is that I liked him a lot more than I think he liked me at the time... as a result, I of course drove him away. Don't get me wrong, I think he really did like me. I just seemed to think it wasn't enough ... Which led to yet another broken heart and feelings of "What's wrong with meeeeeeeeeeee?" It wasn't him, it was me. I see that now. And because of that, I can look back and think "he was fun. I liked him. Good guy to date, glad we hit it off," walking away with no ill feelings and instead, feelings of complete neutrality. I find this to be a good thing.

After Boyfriend #3 I entered a period when I bounced around a lot, not really finding myself in anything that stable or promising. I dabbled in dating the first boyfriend ever (high school guy) again but that ended sourly and I have nothing good to say about that second time around. I did learn that it's no good to re-date someone. What's that book called? Something about being called a break-up because it's broken? Point being, don't re-date someone. Does it ever end well? I guess it can, but in my case it (thankfully) didn't. After that, I dabbled in a long distance relationship with a Chilean I met in San Francisco... he was in the Chilean navy, still is actually. He's another guy I'm friends with on FB and he too is now in a long-term relationship. Again, feelings of happiness (for him) and neutrality can best describe what I feel when I remember him.

That's the thing though. I never even remember these guys except when one thing leads me to another, as was the case the other day, and I remember something. But even that thought is so fleeting, it's like all of this happened to another person. But that's how it goes, right? The me I was back then was a less developed, less evolved version of me now.

If I have a daughter, I'll take her through all of these lessons on dating. I'll tell her that sometimes, guys look awesome on the surface ("on paper") as was the case with the first guy I made mention of at the beginning of this post (remember? I said I came across an acquaintance's FB page who is friends with a family member of his). What seemed to be, wasn't really and I got caught up with all that glittered about him. Turned out he was a lazy, unmotivated, racist (yes, racist), uber conservative little punk with delusions of grandeur (and yes, I really DO need to learn to form an opinion.) Our break up seemed detrimental at the time but looking back, all I can think is "There is a God and he's definitely looking out for me." The funny thing is that he (and his entire family) probably thinks I'm a crazy, Latina Jezebel who ended up looking for a relationships on Cragislist "Women Seeking Men" section. I'm not gonna lie. I came this close and decided against it. :o)

But I'd also tell my daughter that sometimes, really nice guys come along and you date them for an eternity of four years. I'm not sure what number this said boyfriend would be but let's just say he was Mr. All-American Nice Guy. No complaints, bad juju or ill-feelings come about in relation to him and actually, we had a great time together. He's now dating someone who is far better suited for him and honestly, I'm happy for them both. It didn't use to be like that. Sometimes one's ego gets in the way of being happy for those who deserve it but time takes care of that discrepancy in personal judgment.

The final thing that happens before finding THE ONE is this: you meet someone and you instantly click. You think, "OMG what have I been doing my whole life when this person was floating around, existing without me and I was doing the same thing! Blasphemy!" You can't conjure up anyone who is cooler, has a better story, a better career, a cuter face, better taste in music or personal style and you immediately become convinced that this is what life has been saving for you. This, right here, this guy, is your prize for all your failed relationships past.

HA!! Except that's not how it works. See, right before you meet the one, you meet the one who could-have-been or almost-was (which is VASTLY different from the one-who-got-away). This guy is the one who gives you the final reminder that a guy who is in it for the long run, in it because he's convinced you're the best thing since sliced bread, will do insurmountable things to be with you. Will climb every mountain and swim every ocean just to be near you (so to speak). Simply put, the guy who's in it to win it will follow through with some integrity. The guy who almost-was but didn't quite measure up was the guy before G and it was a fresh SLAP IN THE FACE reminder of all the sh*t women need NOT go through with the opposite sex.

That's how it goes you know. You have to be crawling on the ground, licking the floor miserable, having endured the most pathetic of showings by a guy, to realize that it's far better to be alone than with the guy who could never measure up.

So maybe some people never had to be alone in order to find themselves before THE ONE came along. We all have our own roads and this just happened to be mine. Still, I don't think I would have changed it all that much. Yeah break ups suck and there were some that were horrid for me ... where my face would be a disfigured mess in the mornings because of endless crying the night before. But it helped me learn that each time I became someone's ex-girlfriend, I was closer to becoming someone's THE ONE (or wife). I always like to say that dating was like trying jeans on for size. You have to try a million on, and endure pure frustration (some too long, some too tight, why do those look better on her than me, I have no butt, etc) before you find a good pair.

What a long strange trip it's been .... and where I am because of it, is worth its weight in gold.

G and me during our first dance as husband and wife.

Skiing in the Andes with the Annie's

2010-07-20T16:00:00.008-04:00

G and I have taken to completely regarding ourselves as avid skiers in the making. After some convincing from me on how awesome the ski/snowboard/general snow experience was and my repeated "OMG's" on the fact that he's never been skiing in his life, (considering the Andes are so close), he relented. He purchased new snow gear (at 50% off and still ridiculously expensive for Chilean standards) and this past Friday we were off on our snow bunny trek.

Obviously you know where this post is headed: the comparison between going to the snow here vs. going to the snow back home.

Let me preface by stating a couple of things. First, I'm using the term "going to the snow" in lieu of skiing or snowboarding because I want to encompass the entire experience AND leave room for a switch between skiing and snowboarding down the line. This time, G and I skied but next time we go (in about three weeks hopefully) we're going to be snowboarding. Second, I recognize that skiing and snowboarding (mostly skiing) are not a cheap activity no matter where you're located in the world. Considering gas involved getting there and back, gear involved, lift tickets, accomodations (if need be) and food, it's pretty pricey to list skiing/snowboarding as a frequent activity during winter.

However, I learned that in Chile skiing/snowboarding is most definitely an ABC1 outing and I realized this mostly because of those around me that day.

Back in California, we used to head out to Lake Tahoe for our yearly doses of snow and this usually involved getting a group of friends together and 1) staying with friends who had houses there or 2) finding a vacation rental for 2-3 nights and splitting it across all those going.

Me and my friend Jen in 2005 or 2006, in front of the house 8-10 of us rented in South Lake.

Lake Tahoe was about a four hour drive from San Francisco, depending on traffic and velocity, so in our case, we always stayed at least two nights. Besides, being on the border with Nevada, there is definitely a nightlife and subsequent debauchery that one can partake in on the evenings when one isn't philandering in the snow (skiing).

Also, there are SO MANY options for skiing, depending on which "shore" of the Lake you are staying, and because of this, there are also various options when taking into account the budget. This site gives you a very topline idea of the various prices of lift tickets in the Lake Tahoe area and seriously, the range is anywhere from about US$21 to US$90. And equipment rental prices? Anywhere between US$30 - $60 for gear and boots for the day. So on the expensive end, skiing for a day in Lake Tahoe could cost about US$160 at most ... while here in Chile it will cost you about US$65 for a lift ticket and about US$45 for equipment rental. Taking into account the salary discrepancies in this country when compared to those in the U.S. AND taking into account how I mentioned in a previous post that only 10% of the population of Santiago has money to spend on these types of "luxuries", you can imagine the type of people that one encounters on a skiing adventure here vs. a skiing adventure back home.

Back home, I remember the outings in the snow to be all about friends and fun. It was never about luxury, even if the place where we stayed was super nice. Yes, skiing is an expensive sport no matter where you are, but back home, it was more about being with friends than consideration of the fact that we were doing something very upscale. To most of us back home, "upscale" might entail First Class tickets to Paris and staying at the Four Seasons Hotel George V. And even when you were on the mountain you rarely noticed if people had more or less money ... just like in the movie "Clueless" with all the groups united on one same high school campus, you had all kinds of people who enjoyed gallivanting in the snow, one right next to the other. In short, the differences are less obvious back home when compared to Chile.

And the culmination of our high society ("cuico") experience in the snow last Friday, was overheard on our way back to the car after our time skiing. A blonde-ish woman, wearing a poofy North Face jacket, was walking around talking on her phone... in her very notable "cuica" voice she was telling the person on the other end of the line that she was headed "back to the apartment" (mind you, we were 2 hours outside of Santiago so obviously she had a place right there on the resort) and that "Annie" was on her way "to the spa." The minute we had suffieciently walked past this woman, G and I proceeded to crack up. It was just so.typical.rich.Chilean.person. Obviously this now means that all the "cuicos" in this country are to be known as "Annie's" from now on ... and we've proceeded to exploit the term continuously since then. Feel free to adopt it if you'd like. I find it has less of a negative connotation too.

Some might argue that in partaking in said activities, relatively speaking (i.e. for Chilean standards vs American standards as mentioned above), G and I are Annie's too. I can respect that opinion but I would argue that the difference with us is that we don't take our advantages and accomplishments for granted, nor do we act like it's our God-given right to take trips to the mountains to go skiing. Realistically, it's not like we could afford a week in the mountains skiing/snowboarding either. In fact, between one trip and the next, we'll have another payday so that makes a difference with regards to how often we head to the mountains. Trust me, the Annie's don't think like that and I really can't imagine them figuring out when it makes most sense to go, money-wise.

I like to think of us as 'come-and-go' Annie's. When we feel like putting that particular hat on (and our bank account tells us it's ok to do so), we do...but all the while making fun of ourselves because we know we aren't "born and bred" into it.

G and I being Annie's. Ya dig?

But that's what makes it so much fun!!! Our ability to "blend" in with the Annie's doing things like eating out at certain restaurants or frolicking in the snow ... it's like we're Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio's character in "Titanic") when he's eating with the First Class passengers ...

"Nothing to it is there? Remember, they love money so pretend like you own a gold mine and you're in the club."

We don't necessarily look like naturals but at least we're standing!

Of course most of this blog post has been written in a tongue-in-cheek fashion and though some elements are somewhat exaggerated for your reading pleasure, the truth of the matter is that we had a lovely time at Valle Nevado and we are definitely looking forward to falling in the snow again very soon!

One year ago today

2010-07-17T09:53:00.007-04:00

One year ago today was the last time I would wake up in my own apartment; the last time I'd be living my single life; the last time I would drink the best latte in the world from the best neighborhood cafe in the world (Borrones); the last time I would have a sleep over with my best friend, where it would be just me and her in my apt.

A year ago today, I left California and boarded an American Airlines flight to Santiago, to begin my new life here.

It was the last time I walked down the tree lined streets of Menlo Park.

The last time I could call California my home, with a permanent address and a mailbox that proved I lived there.

It was the last time my Uncle Pato ever went to pick me up at my apartment.

It was the last time I walked through the kitchen, the living room, my bedroom ... and realized that what I had accomplished alone was passing. I had gone from being a pathetic mess over one failed relationship after another, feeling like a failure who lived with her mom for so long and couldn't branch out on her own, feeling like my career was going nowhere and in short, feeling stuck ... and I turned a new leaf and began to own my life and my choices in a way I had never done before.

That apartment embodied all of that and all four small rooms contained a memory of each and every little accomplishment I had ever set out for my single self.

My bedroom the day before I left California.

The same bedroom only six months earlier.

Leaving California was hard. It was hard to see my beloved apt reduced to nothing more than wall-to-wall carpeting and window blinds. It was hard to say goodbye to my best friend, knowing that I would NEVER, for as long as I would be away, ever form friendships as strong as I have in California.

It has been hard adapting to a country that has amazing resources and great potential, but that, realistically, is light years behind more developed countries like the U.S.

I miss home and sometimes G gets sad when I tell him that. But the thing is, he's the reason I'm here. He's all the reason I'll ever need to motivate me to move from Pole to Pole. I said to him the other day: "I would follow you to Afghanistan and back, so long as I was with you." And it's true.

But the reality is that to me, being in Chile is not an accomplishment and it's so far from where I thought I'd be in life, it's almost comical.

However, HE is the accomplishment and what we have together is also so far from where I thought I'd be in life. I was convinced I'd never find someone like him, amazing in so many ways. I am truly blessed with him - because of him and because of who I am and who I want to be when I'm with him. Just better, all around. Does he make the move to Chile worth it? A million times yes.

But as an independent woman, someone who values strength and autonomy as well, I want to find my own path in this narrow land ... so far it's been hard.

One year later, I've taken steps, but I'm miles (or kilometers) away from making strides.

Pretty much the last view I had of my apartment, my life in California, on July 17, 2009.

Close cab encounters of the Santiago kind

2010-07-15T15:46:00.004-04:00

I was once convinced that the weirdest or most awkward of cab encounters were contained strictly to the island of Manhattan. The normal cab experience in New York involves the word "no" yelled sternly from the driver himself in response to one's query if he happens to be going Uptown. In general, they never seem to be going in the direction you need to go. And there's always a split second of analysis on their part, as they determine whether it's worth their while to carry you from Point A to Point B (it rarely seems to be and in the rare instance that they determine it IS, they act as if they're doing you the biggest favor in the world.)

A few years ago I was once in a cab with a Japanese coworker of mine, during her first trip to the Big Apple. It was winter and it was snowing and because of this, it was naturally 90 degrees inside the cab. Meanwhile, she and I looked like the kid in "A Christmas Story" with the amount of clothing and layers we had on as defense against the storm outside - in short, we were shvitz-ing. She got hot, she rolled down the window. She realized it was down too much, she put it back up. She accidentally kept the button pressed too much so she adjusted it again so it was just right. What did the cab driver do? YELL AT HER to "stop playing with the window." Of course I sat up in her defense but it was too late. She was appalled that anyone would speak to someone else like that (after all, she's from Japan, the country of polite). My poor coworker never recovered from that NYC cabbie experience.

On a different trip, I was in the car with a Muslim driver from Iraq at a time when the sun was beginning to set. We were driving into the city from the airport and he realized he would soon need to participate in "Salah" the formal prayer of Islam, done by Muslims at various times of the day. The sunset one was fast approaching, so he whipped out his dinner (packed by his wife, he told me) and proceeded to eat prior to dropping me off and heading to prayer. Except, being the polite man that he seemed to be, he couldn't bear eating in front of me and not SHARING. And that he did. I don't know what I ate precisely but it was both weird and intriguing and definitely the first time I had tried Iraqi food. In NYC. In a cab. From foil wrapping.

Given all of the above (and trust me there are other similar stories), you can imagine that it seemed really, really unlikely to me that I'd ever find a city where cab drivers were just as rude, weird or awkward. Be that as it may, Santiago is quickly securing its spot at the top of the "Cities With the Weirdest Cab Drivers" list.

One time, post a fluke night out dancing (we weren't feeling it), me, G, a gringa friend and her boyfriend, attempted to hail a cab at Providencia with Pedro de Valdivia to take us about 4 blocks in the cold, dark night. Though the cab driver was going in that direction, after we all piled in, he told us to get out because he felt we were "abusing" the right to take the cab because of the "short" distance. Did I mention he was going DOWN THAT STREET and would pass right by where we needed to get out? Hello??? Do the cab drivers NOT care about making money - not to go out of his way, but down the same street? I was floored - not only because of his logic but because of how truly appalled he seemed by the mere notion of driving us four blocks in the direction he was already going. Needless to say, we walked the four blocks, all the while my gringa friend and I bashed the cab driver, Chile and the world in general - we were so pissed. (For the record, G thoroughly believed we were overreacting and when I stated it was "the principle" he asked me why the gringas always fight "on principle." Aaaaaahhhh!!)

Then there was the time I took a cab to the U.S. Embassy to pick up my new U.S. Passport. An exciting trip for me because I had just become a citizen and thus, was about to retrieve the proper documentation stating just that. As it turned out, the cab driver was a die hard Communist.

[I get into the cab.]
Me: "The U.S. Embassy please. It's on Andres Bello, please take XYZ route."

Cabbie: (as he drives onward) "The U.S. Embassy? Why would you want to go there? That place should be destroyed. The U.S. is the devil."

Me:[in my head "sweet. now is not a good time to tell him about that citizenship accomplishment."] "Oh yeah? Well you know, sometimes certain documents are required from them, so that's why I'm going."

Cabbie: (groveling) "Those damn Americans think they own the world! I'm not surprised you have to do all this crazy running around to get your business done. They don't make anything easy and like to flex their muscles to the whole world."

Me: (smile plastered on my face) "uh huh. Yeah well I need something from them to travel. What are you gonna do? It is what it is."

Cabbie: "I'd like to travel to Cuba ..."

Me: "Oh, do you have family there?" (recalling that I had read somewhere once that many Cubans have come to Chile to seek better opportunities for themselves and their families.)

Cabbie: "No, it's just one of my lifetime dreams. Now there's a wonderful country and a man who has the right idea, that Castro, God love him." (pause) (sigh) "Yeah, one of my lifelong dreams is to go there and I'm going to do it! Before I die, I will go there. And you know, those Americans, you have no idea how many times they've tried to destroy the Cubans. I know why too - the resources. The Americans want to get their grimy hands on all the valuable resources anyone might have - they're so greedy they can't stand to see others have valuable resources!" (cabbie is now adamant.)

Me: (noticing the Cuban flag on his windshield) "Uh huh... yeah I read that Cuba has really nice beaches."

And so on and so on. He would rant and pound his fist against the Americans, all the while singing songs of praise for Cuba and Castro. In response, I would talk about their beaches and ask about the food and the rum. Perhaps I should have defended my fellow Americans but I ask you: alone in a cab, on your way to get your U.S. Passport, with a ranting Communist at the wheel, what would you have done? I rest my case.

Then last night, I was in a cab and the driver was a pleasant man in his late 60s or early 70s. He gets to talking to me about the woman who was in the cab before me, a "beautiful, striking" woman about 50, who was married to a former military man (so she told the cab driver.) The cabbie says to me, "Do you know that she was in the cab for 20 minutes and during that time her husband called her 5 times? FIVE TIMES!" Apparently the woman had guests invited to her house at 8pm and her husband was freaking out - to the point of stalking her and calling her names - because at ten minutes to 6pm, she still hadn't arrived at home. Long story short, the cab driver proceeds to tell me 1) what a jerk her husband was 2) how men should treat women delicately and 3) how he himself still "makes love" to his wife and enjoys her as he always has in the past 30 years that they've been together. Um, what? Scratch record, stop the music. Then he proceeded to inform me that on some nights, she will put on an apron - not to initiate "lovemaking" - and "serve" him a pisco sour as if they were in a restaurant. Likewise, on some nights, he'll play the waiter, placing a dish towel across his arm, and serving HER a pisco sour. Again, not as a signal that "lovemaking" time is about to begin, lest anyone be confused.

By then we had arrived at my apartment so I didn't have time to ask him to differentiate the "yes to lovemaking" cues from the "no to lovemaking" cues that he and his wife had established. I got that the waiter/waitress role-playing game fell into the "no to lovemaking" realm, but what if, say, one day she forgot to put on her left earring? Is that in the "yes" or "no" realm? ....
I guess we'll never know.

The moral of my blog post is this: if you find yourself in a situation where you have to take a cab in Santiago, don't bother bringing your iPod. The cab drivers are just as likely to talk to you as if you aren't trying to ignore them and you'll find yourself hearing about the intimate details of their sex life OR about how Karl Marx was definitely on to something. My suggestion? Try to steer the conversation towards a topic so shocking, they'll be the ones asking their friends why all the weirdo passengers choose their cab for their transportation needs.

I've decided that my outrageous story from now on will be that my lover, the goat, broke up with me and ran off with the neighbor girl.

I choose my choice!

2010-07-13T15:53:00.004-04:00

I've been thinking a lot about the subject of kids lately, trying to come to terms with the fact that more than half of the people I went to either grammar school, high school or college with are now parents and I'm nowhere near the task. Arguably I'm more "ahead of that game" than an unmarried, otherwise single, counterpart I suppose, but mentally I'm no further ahead than I was when I graduate college. Obviously many personal factors contribute to this: 1) adjusting to a new country 2) analysis of the disadvantages thrown at mothers in the workforce, specifically in this country and 3) trying to have a couple's life prior to the kiddo scenario, considering I married at a much later age. All of the above are important factors to consider prior to embarking on the role of a lifetime (i.e. parenthood), the most pressing of all, to me, is the stunted career I'll have if I don't play my cards right.

Then today I came across yet another variable to this ever-present "Maybe Kids ... yes...no....when....what" library of questions. This article published earlier this month in New York Magazine entitled "All Joy and No Fun. Why parents hate parenting." And before half the readers of this blog jump to defend the institution of kids and parenting, let me clarify that I am neither bashing, nor supporting this article. What I am doing is adding it to my database of "food for thought on" and "things to consider before." Besides, there's some great writing to be found in this article and it seems very well supported, siting numerous studies and books that speak into the subject of happiness, kids, relationships and parenting. I'm never one to pass up a good read and just because the subject is laced with controversy only makes me love it more (hence, I'm promoting your reading of it.)

It's surprising to read that one study after another shows that having kids DOES NOT make women, men and couples happier. In fact, as far as couple's are concerned, marital satisfaction takes a tumble once kids are born (though parents of babies and toddlers will be happy to know that this satisfaction increases between your kid's ages of 6-12 ... then plummets again when they're teenagers - go figure.) Yeah, as a species it makes sense that we want to procreate, pass our genes on, contribute to a legacy, etc, etc but as individuals, this article really challenges the notion of whether as PEOPLE, cultural and social people, it ever makes sense to have kids.

And what's the main reason behind the unpleasant view on parenting itself? We've become robots of perfection, buckling under the pressure of "not good enough" and transferring it on to the kids! In January I posted this, describing the competitive landscape of where I lived in California and this is exactly the kind of stuff that makes being a parent intolerable. This article states that before urbanization, kids were considered an asset to economic growth since they worked the farmland next to you or worked in the shop/small family business owned by the parents. Their existence had a purpose that propelled the entire family forward. Nowadays, children are not regarded in the same capacity, seen more so as "subjects to be sculpted, stimulated, instructed, groomed" in order to promote the creation of supreme beings by the skillful hands of the parents. It's not enough to have the big house, fancy car and European family trips - your kids need to be the personification of success just as the yacht might be.

Sounds like a lot of pressure to me. No wonder parents are stressed out and no wonder kids are stressed out. I've seen it first hand (and this article mentions it as well), but kids these days are over-scheduled. Can you believe such a notion? And to think that I had hours and hours of free time to play and pretend and cut coupons out of the newspaper so that I could play bank ... with myself.

Geez, what a disadvantage I've created waiting this long to have kids. I've chosen to work on me, my career, my education, my life and now when I have kids, I'll know exactly what I'm missing when I can't focus on all of the aforementioned points. It's different when young adults leave their parents house and shortly thereafter become parents. Chances are they haven't had much time to notice what they'll be missing once they do have kids.

Incidentally, when I finished reading this article it immediately occurred to me to Google the exact same phrase/notion in Spanish, specifically searching Chilean websites. I came across a lot of articles on the INABILITY to have kids, an article on couples choosing pets over kids (from a site called "Conciencia Animal" or "Animal Consciousness," an article on a woman who dated a guy forever who didn't want to have kids and who then ended up having kids with the woman he had a relationship with after her ... and finally, at the very bottom of the first Google page, an article from Cosmo (hardly a Chilean publication) speaking to the notion of "So what if I don't want kids?" In this very quick search (and I cannot stress enough how very quickly this search occurred), I did come across an article from a newspaper from the South of Chile called "Diario El Sur" where the writer speaks about the "dilemma" associated with the decision of having kids or not and how three entities affect this decision one way or another: 1) dedication to one's career, 2) the "voice" of the Church, 3) contraception. But the best article I came across on Chilean sites (again, in my ever-so-quick search) talks about how the decision to have fewer kids is an active decision by educated adults who wish to focus on responsible parenting. Blogs, of course, provide a wealth of varying opinions on the matter and this one speaks quite candidly on the stance of "not wanting to be a mother someday." Still, I have to say that the majority of the articles that come up when I Google "Tener hijos hace feliz?" or "Having kids makes one happy?" are about infertility, lower birth rates and selfish individuals. Check it out and see for yourself!

Just for the record folks, I'm not anti having kids. In fact, I've made reference to my relatively pro stance on the matter in the past. I do, however, find it quite interesting that the reality is SO different than what the marketers want you to believe. Parenting, in short, seems to kind of suck.

The Nestle's, Proctor & Gamble's and milk companies of this world (among so many other consumer products companies that exist), want you to believe that being a mom is the best job you'll ever have ... that's the only way they'll get you to buy that product that will FOR SURE prove to all the other parents that you're the world's best mom (or dad!) These companies market their products by speaking to the "proud parent" in all of you: you want your kids whites to be whiter than all the rest, right? Buy Tide! You want your kids to grow up with the healthiest bones so they can kick the goal at the last minute and win that soccer game, right? Then buy the yogurt! We build strong bones! The marketing to the inner proud parent is endless and so it's NO WONDER (in my opinion) that one can barely find material on NOT having kids here in Chile. After all, in reference to my blog last week, the proud parent can be ABC1 or D - here is a motivating factor (to purchase a product) that doesn't discriminate.

Anyway, I'm all over the place today and feel that I've covered many topics. I'd like to take this opportunity to focus my thoughts and note that my feelings can best be described by one of Charlotte York's finer moments in Sex and the City, where she's arguing with Miranda on her decision to quit her job in order to focus on being a wife. Whether you agree with Miranda on how socially acceptable doing that ultimately is, Charlotte has a point when she yells:

"I choose my choice!! I choose my choice, I choose my choice!"

That's all we really want.

It's USA Week at Jumbo

2010-07-10T15:28:00.012-04:00

Hey, did you guys know that for the next ten days it's USA week at your local Jumbo? I, for one, did not get the memo from the U.S. Embassy here in Santiago and it's a good thing that we subscribe to "El Mercurio" (Chile's leading newspaper) on the weekends, otherwise, how would I have known?? Thankfully, upon opening today's paper, the following circular slipped out, alerting me to the fact that between July 8 - 18, it's USA Week at Jumbo.

Obviously my curiosity was piqued and so I took a gander.

Now, maybe I'm alone when I say this, but I'm always happy when I go to my local Jumbo and see products I recognize from back home. Simple things like Snickers bars or Top Ramen soup make me really happy. It's nice to see brands and logos I know and love in a sea of those that I can't tell you much about. I know that Campbell's is "Mmmm, mmm, good" but not sure what Maggi soups are ... as a result, I don't get the same cozy, warm fuzzy feeling about Maggi as I do about Campbell's soups. This goes for all brands in Chile - since I didn't grow up here, they mean nothing to me on a personal level. Therefore I'm a marketers nightmare -OR- I'm a consumer a marketer disregards completely because I'm a lost cause. How can a consumer associate feelings with particular brands if they did not grow up seeing these brands and the publicity around them?

Which is why, from a marketing point of view, I have to commend Jumbo for reaching out to the American population that is constantly expanding here in Santiago. Even the cover of this circular speaks to us because an African American woman (or perhaps AA decent) is depicted on the cover - something we Americans completely regard as natural even though the majority of the people who live in the U.S. are not of African American decent. In all areas of marketing in the U.S. it's important for companies and brands to make sure to be "equal opportunity" and to do the best they can to depict the melting pot that is the population at large in the 50 States. [Of course one can argue that if a company or brand fails to do this in their promotions, they can be targeted as "racist" and well, that would be a PR nightmare for any business.] In general, Chilean advertising never depicts people of darker color. First because Chileans don't associate with that and further, don't aspire to that (perhaps the main reason why most models in advertisements are blonde) and second, Chileans are pretty homogeneous in their looks and simply put, there aren't many dark skinned people walking around the country. Therefore, I'm concluding that this woman was used on the cover to specifically speak to Americans in Santiago.

On a similar note, perhaps it's that Jumbo is advertising to those who aspire to all things American. After all, this country definitely looks north for trends and success stories, so why not harness that attention and promote food from the U.S.? Whatever the motivation for this focus on our food, the bottom line is that somehow, with someone, this promotion must mean mad money to Jumbo.

So what's being advertised in the circular?

"Productos Exclusivos" (exclusive products) for the most part and many of them brands I don't even recognize! I realized that perhaps the reason for this is because Jumbo (or Cencosud, owners of the Jumbo supermarket chains) have an exclusive agreement with Food Export Association of the Midwest USA, a non-profit organization that promotes the export of food and agricultural products from the midwestern region of the United States. That probably explains why the peanut butter being advertised is "Algood" and the maple syrup is "Shur Fine." I'm from California, so my main thought is "where's the Jiffy and the Aunt Jemima?" I've never been to the Midwest so can't attest anything about these brands, but one thing's for sure: beggars can't be choosers and I'd much rather have the choice between chunky and creamy peanut butter versus no peanut butter at all. Even if that means consuming Kmart's Blue Light Special private label or whatever unknown brands are being imported. Call me crazy.

But that's the key thing to keep in mind, right? Beggars (as in me) can't be choosers. I'm in a strange land with strange food and labels (most yummy though, I will admit) and if I can find pancake mix, cranberry juice (trust me, it's no picnic trying to find cranberry anything here) or root beer, I'll disregard the relatively unknown label in lieu of having a small slice of home in my Chilean refrigerator.

In any case, hats off to Jumbo for embracing their American population and those who favor all things American. Yeah USA Week is a little late since 4th of July was LAST weekend but hey, I'll take it. Plus it helps promote the food that's manufactured and grown there. That's a nice thought considering how much food we import ourselves from Chile and Mexico. So, thank you Jumbo. I may not be changing my shopping habits all that much, but I'm happy to see some peanut butter and Ocean's Spray cranberry juice all up in here:

Some good ol' American style stuffing:

But find it really, really funny that on the page advertising American sodas, A&W Root Beer (#4) is promoted as "Cerveza sin alcohol Root Beer." Or non-alcoholic beer Root Beer.

I guess it's better to be safe than sorry. We wouldn't want people purchasing the root beer and thinking they can get a buzz off drinking several cans of it. That would be false advertising for those who don't get that the "beer" doesn't really mean beer. Oh Chile... don't ever be so funny and fabulous in your advertising!

Note: you can check out the online version of this entire catalog here. This link will most likely still be active about a week after July 18th. Enjoy!

Sorry my blog layout has gone schizo

2010-07-09T02:02:00.003-04:00

I feel the need to send a quick apology shout out regarding my two layout changes today. No I've not gone schizo and no, I won't be treating my blog like some people treat their Facebook profiles (constantly changing profile pics)... I don't want to get into it but suffice it to say that I had an issue with the one I previously chose today and out of pure frustration have settled for the most blah layout you will possibly come across.

Better known as the one you're staring at this very second.

Try not to fall asleep looking at this page. Just know it will only compel me to write more heart racing, tear jerking, edge-of-your-seat stories about living in Chile.

Also, I reserve the right to find a more suitable, long term layout option within the week.

Ok, that's all.
Carry on.

Santiago the Segmented

2010-07-07T16:11:00.007-04:00

I'm noticing this odd phenomenon about social classes here in Chile. There is a weird obsession over them that reaches every corner of this country. Further, there seems to be a constant need to identify which class people fall into.

...or maybe it's because I'm studying Marketing and for all types of reasons, marketers need to segment the population at large...Ok, I won't discard that this might be the reason why figuring out where people are "located" in the social class hierarchy seems to be a national past time for those who immediately surround me.

There are several factors that determine what socioeconomic class people fall under here in Chile and one of those factors in Santiago is the "comuna" or neighborhood you live in. Note the map below for a quick glimpse of the comunas that make up Santiago:

I first became aware of this chasm between classes when I visited some cousins in Chile for a three-month period back in 1998. My cousins, aunt and uncle live in a three bedroom house in Puente Alto. I didn't personally see anything "different" about them or how they lived since they had all the things I had at home ... in fact, I'd argue that they lived far better than we did back then because they certainly always had a good amount of food readily available for a quick asado (bbq). They had cars, tvs, phones, mircowaves, fridges, etc, etc. It wasn't until THEY said to me "Vamos a ir al barrio alto" that I even had a notion that a "higher neighborhood" (as in upper class neighborhood) even existed in such a manner that it had it's own nickname. See, to them, going past the Ñuñoa neighborhood is like venturing into a completely different country. Anything from the Providencia neighborhood and on, is mostly foreign to them. In fact, a couple of weeks after the earthquake, another cousin of mine who happens to live beyond Providencia, mentioned that she had gone to the mall, Parque Arauco, for a one-time job and she was FLOORED that people were shopping and eating out. She literally said "It's like another world up there." Up there being the Las Condes neighborhood.

Aside from neighborhoods, another factor in determining what class you fall into are what the Census calls "Good" (or "Bienes.") Does the family or household have a tv, a land line, a refrigerator, a car, a microwave, a shower (yes, you read that correctly. They want to know if you have a shower)? There are about 10-15 items that are considered to be basic and depending on whether a family has them or not, helps determine where in the social class spectrum they will ultimately fall. The higher class will obviously have 100% of all items, in multiple quantities, whereas a lower class household may have certain things, but definitely not 100% of them.

Finally, another important factor that helps determine where a household falls is the level of education reached by the head (or heads) of household. Those in the upper sections of the spectrum will have totaled an average of AT LEAST 16.2 years of schooling and most have certainly graduated college and further, hold a Graduate degree from a known institution.

So then, how are classes "classified?" Not in the typical fashion we hear about in the U.S. - Upper Class, Upper Middle Class, Middle Class, Lower Middle Class, Upper Lower Class, etc, etc until you get to the standard Lower Class title. In Chile, each class has a letter or series of letters assigned to them as follows:

ABC1: These are college graduates who hold executive level jobs or otherwise "prestigious" jobs. Likewise, these individuals hold powerful positions within their companies and they live in the best and most exclusive neighborhoods of Santiago. Their monthly income is calculated at about $3.5 million pesos (about USD$7000) a month or more. These individuals make up about 10% of Santiago's population. They own two or more cars, all or most luxury makes and models, and the cars are less than 5 years old. Usually the "AB" segement is grouped together with the C1 segment because the AB alone would only make up about 2.5% of the population (incidentally, this segment alone would be quite difficult to analyze since they are the ones who will have most of their "goods" completely guarded and all info on them would be heavily shrouded.)

C2: This is considered to be the "most typical" middle class of the city and make up less than 20% of the population of Santiago. They tend to live in more traditional neighborhoods of the city, sometimes further away from the downtown areas and with clean, well maintained homes,streets and sidewalks. The heads of households are generally also college graduates with executive-type jobs or are heads of departments in their companies. Their income is an average $1 million pesos a month (about US#2,000) and they own at least one car (sometimes two). Unfortunately in this group, savings is not a reality for the most part.

C3: Middle class noted mainly for its simplicity. This group tends to live amongst the C1 group and the D group, typically found in the more traditional, sometimes older neighborhoods of Santiago. Socially speaking an interesting point about this group is that in their neighborhoods, one can note an elevated level of domestic activity on the streets (i.e. housewives sweeping, children playing, etc). This group is said to make up 25% of the population of Santiago. The average household income is $600 thousand pesos (about US$1,200) and they tend to not have cars but might instead own very old, handed down trucks. Only 10% of this group has a land line in their homes.

D: This is the lower class group that makes up approximately a reported 35% of the population of Santiago. They have an average monthly income of $300 thousand pesos (about US$600) and they tend to live in smaller, older, mainly deteriorated homes. It's reported that these households rely on only one revenue earning member. That being said, because there are so many individuals who fall in this category, they are notable for business purposes as they are a force as consumers due to amount of people in this group. Those in this group tend to not have steady jobs but rather will work seasonal or non-contractual jobs (i.e. parking lot attendants). They live in very populated ares of the city, generally on streets that don't necessarily contain pavement.

E: This group is considered to be at almost poverty, if not poverty, level and they make up 10% of the population in Santiago. Their average household income is $90 thousand pesos (about US$180) and this income is either very sporadic income or money granted to them by the government. This group cannot afford to cover the most basic of necessities and generally rely on third party assistance (i.e. the government in many cases). Due to their lack of purchasing power, unfortunately they are rarely regarded in consumer studies.

Why did I feel the need to write about this? First of all, on a selfish note, I really needed to understand how consumers are segmented in Chile. For obvious reasons, businesses and companies in general, focus on the ABC1 and C2 groups mostly because of their purchasing power. After all, these are the people who have the money to spend on goods and services. Logical of course.

I also wanted to understand, in depth, how one group differs from another because Chile really is a segmented culture. In fact, this study I explored done by AIM (Chilean Association of Market Studies) in 2008 contains 38 pages of information. Information that is so detailed, it even tells you how each group DECORATES THEIR HOMES!! Crazy.

I think that Chileans segment themselves and they do this because this is how it's been all their lives. This is certainly not known as the "land of opportunity" and I wonder how many D class individuals ever make it to the sphere of ABC1 or even C2! Is that even possible here? I take a look at my own family members (ones I wouldn't even dare classify!) and wonder why they never go out in other areas of the city, why they don't have friends who live in other areas and why they only move around in their neighborhoods. The same goes for those who live in Las Condes and beyond - do they ever go to Puente Alto to have a beer or a quick bite to eat? My guess is no.

It's interesting how my graduate studies have made me look at people and wonder how their socioeconomic class, as dictated by Chile and themselves personally, makes them tick and motivates them one way or another.

Is it possible to make leaps and bounds in such a segmented culture (and city)? Discuss.

Sources: AIM Chile, Novomerc Study, CERC.

Identifying with "Lost in Translation"

2010-07-05T12:49:00.006-04:00

I'm more analytical than I give myself credit for and in the recent weeks I've been analyzing my current state of affairs as my one-year anniversary of arriving in Chile is quickly approaching.

I think my feelings on the matter can best be described by the original trailer to the movie "Lost In Translation." I'll give you a minute or so to check it out below.

Incidentally, I've been to Tokyo and aside from being FABULOUS it really IS how it's depicted in the movie. The thing being that the movie is focused on two different (or similar) reactions to that environment.

Anyway, the case in point isn't about Tokyo but about my identity crisis in this new chapter of my life. For as long as I can remember, this was the trailer to me:

"Andrea who is originally from Chile, works in anime and is on a mission from God to find THE ONE. Andrea fills her time and space with reading historical fiction and US Weeklys, hanging out with friends, traveling for work and engaging in spontaneous bouts of physical activity otherwise known as cardio excercise. She likes to dabble in drinking wine and playing computer games and is a big fan of greek yogurt. She owns more jeans than she has time to wear and looks forward to baseball season so she can watch games in the sun with her friends (using the term 'watch' loosely). She routinely hosts movie nights and girls' night at her cute, albeit small, apartment. Her cooking skills cover a variety of salads, mostly consisting of lettuce and avocado, with a generous gob of minced Dungeness crab. Andrea has questionable opinions towards all things Mormon and all things ordinary."

This little paragraph pretty much summed up who I was for a big part of my life and in comparison, my life now looks NOTHING like said points mentioned above.

The trailer for "Lost in Translation" stated in the beginning "Bob is lost." In this case:
"Andrea is lost as she begins to come to terms with what it means to live her life in another country. Andrea is new to being a wife and suddenly finds herself in charge of a home where two, sometimes four people dwell. She owns a dog who recently chewed up one of her two pairs of high heeled black boots - she is the master disciplinarian. She's also balancing her career working remotely for a company based abroad, all the while managing her humbling grades in Graduate School. All this grouped with trying to cement bonds and friendships with other women living the Expat life as well. Andrea spends the majority of her days completely alone, reaching out to the world via social online mediums, something she never did before back home. Old Andrea - meet new Andrea."

I'm learning about being a wife, a "dueña de casa" (verbatim, "owner of a home" which has more do with running and creating a home vs fiscally owning a home), being a pet owner, doing my job well but knowing that eventually I'll need to have a secure job locally if I'm ever going to establish my career whole-heartedly here, branching out, learning how to maneuver myself in this city, so on and so on. All of this is grossly misaligned with what I knew of me before so to me, it's no wonder that I'm in this perpetual state of crisis with regards to my identity.

In "Lost in Translation," the character Bob (Bill Murray) asks the character Charlotte (Scarlett Johansson) "What do you do?" to which she replies "I'm not sure yet actually" and later, in a different scene, she tells Bob "I just don't know what I'm supposed to be."

Chile is full of nuances, bureaucracy, crime, traditions and social norms - things that can make anyone's head spin even before they have to come to terms with all of a sudden being a wife and "mom" to a six month old dog in a foreign country where no one seems to understand where you're coming from. As such, it's pretty hard to determine what one is "supposed to be" at any given point. Shying away from the ordinary and in a land where a) being different isn't rewarded and b) being different isn't something easily accessible, you find yourself wondering where your path is and how you walk down it at your own rhythm once you've determined said path.

But "the good news is, the whiskey works" to quote the trailer/movie again. And in my case here and now, the whiskey is all things that make being here better than being there... the whiskey is all that stuff that nudges me and says "Hellooooo, remember this?" After all, as much as I loved my single life and LOVED my old apartment, the fact of the matter was that it was lonely on many occasions and even then I had days when I'd be home alone and talked to no one ... the bad news being that I didn't have the reality of G walking in through the door and sharing the evening with me. And if there's ever one common denominator in the field where all that's good belongs, it's G.

In summary, am I having an identity crisis? Yeah, I think I am. I'm in this strange land with its strange customs, where I don't know tit from tat and on top of that I'm all of a sudden a "housewife" in more ways than I care to recognize. Simply put, the housewife bit is not the gig I was thinking I'd have this time in life and I'm fighting it with blood, sweat and tears. The wife part I like - something one can definitely get used to, but this is also a learning curve. I'm attempting to introduce old Andrea to new Andrea ...one's lost and one's found. Both are versions of me that I know and love, though the former one is that which I've known for a lifetime minus the last year.

In the end it's the environment, where I am, what I do and who I surround myself with that's changed. I don't recognize the usual suspects because the usual suspects are played by completely different people now. It's on me to get with it and adapt already. I have yet to learn to identify with my new roles in my new world. This is the main reason for said identity crisis I'm proclaiming. In the end, I imagine it happens to others who find themselves in warp speed towards another chapter in life ... or is that just the new Andrea wishful thinking?

I have faith in the final thought in the "Lost in Translation" trailer above ... "Sometimes you have to go halfway around the world, to come full circle."

Red Asphalt is missing in Chile

2010-07-02T09:49:00.000-04:00

When I was 15 and in high school, I was required to take one semester of driver's education as part of the basic curriculum of all students. This practice is all but gone in many schools across the U.S. but during the 70s and well into the early 90s when I was in high school, the course was alive and well. We all looked forward to this semester our sophomore year because it was the first step we embarked on towards the freedom that a California state Driver's License offered us.

Part of the excitement of Driver's Ed was the mystery that surrounded the infamous "Red Asphalt." Red Asphalt is a series of instructional driver's education videos produced by the California Highway Patrol. And to put it bluntly, all it did was feature gruesome scenes of bloody accidents, most of which were caused by drunk or speeding drivers (or both). Before Driver's Ed, we'd only heard about the film, which supposedly featured bodies cut in half, strewn on lawns, cars a wrangled mess of metal with blood splattered on the windshields and seats ... and all we had to frame our own reactions of the film, were those reactions of students older than us. Some were overly dramatic and claimed to have had to walk out of class; others were sadistic and took it all in gladly. In either case, it was the talk of the school whenever the sophomore class had seen the film that particular week.

Below is an 8 minute clip of the original Red Asphalt, though I can't recall if this was the one we saw in 1992/1993. I doubt it, but even if we had a more updated version, what they would have updated would be the statistics... the general idea of the video is nicely conveyed in this short clip, should you wish to take a gander.

So not only did we have a semester's worth of learning California driving laws, but this was mixed in with curriculum focused on scaring the living sh*t out of us by outlining every possible factor that could result in a deadly accident the minute we stepped foot behind the driver's wheel. I'm not condoning nor am I criticizing this tactic, I'm simply stating how it was presented to the general student population at our school, and from what I hear, how it was presented in general in the State of California.

Further to this semester of education and scare tactics, our school also hosted "Drunk Driving Awareness Week" once a year. This involved assemblies where we'd hear first hand about how real people were affected one way or another by drunk driving, movies featuring images of drunk driving accidents and also included what was left of a car on our school's front lawn. This was an actual car that had been involved in an alcohol related collision, mangled doors, shattered windshields, dried blood - the whole nine yards - on our front lawn so that every day for a week, we saw it on our way into the building. I have memory of the cars looking something like this every year:

Perhaps not this exactly, but similar enough that I recall thinking "How did anyone survive that?"

And so, if it isn't already obvious to you, my conclusion about all this is that, in the early 90s at least, California CLEARLY favored educating teenagers about the rules of the road while at the same time, scaring us into never wanting to step into a car either as a driver or a passenger for the remainder of our lives. And at least with this teenager, fear tactics work their "magic" in such a way, that I'm like one of those dogs who wears those collars that send electrical charges through them whenever they bark.

As we got older, the messages surrounding driving under the influence continued. They evolved into more sophisticated messages of the "Friends Don't Let Friends Drive Drunk" nature and stopped featuring gross, bloody scenes that bordered on resembling bad Hollywood movie types. The bottom line being that in California, we were constantly fed, via the formal education system or the media, messages that it was simply NOT OK to drink and drive. Even if one had done it, that person carried with them the GUILT learned through all of the above, because it's embedded in our brains that no matter how you slice it, it's.just.plain. wrong. And trust me, I've seen that guilt scare the few people I know who have driven drunk into NEVER doing it again. Those are the happy cabby people (i.e. they take taxis left and right a la Paris Hilton post jail stint).

THEREFORE, dear blog reader, you can simply IMAGINE my disgust at the seemingly culturally accepted tendency in Chile to drive regardless of the number of drinks one has consumed. I'm not talking about evidence on the news (which, believe it or not, shows bloodier scenes than in the U.S.!) but occasions I've witnessed FIRST HAND of this acceptance. The "no he's fine, he hasn't had a drink in an hour and I just gave him a cup of coffee." Or "no she's fine, she lives just about five blocks from here, and I asked her to call us when she gets home." And I've experienced FIRST HAND being in the car with someone DRIVING who has whipped out a can of beer to drink it while driving (that time, I made him stop the car, I got out and told my two cousins who were in the back seat, after refusing to get out with me, peace out. Baby don't play that game.) The shadiest part about that story is that the guy driving is a DETECTIVE for the Investigations arm of the Law Enforcement here in Chile. Nice, right?

No one wants to be the "mala onda weon" who tells an inebriated - or even buzzed - friend that maybe he shouldn't be driving. AND no one wants to be the "mala onda galla" who tells her friends she's only having two drinks because she has to drive home. That would be met with immediate looks resembling "WTF is wrong with you? Did you have a lobotomy, is that it?" If someone WERE to stick to their guns and not drink or continue to drink (and be responsible, at that!) I'm certain the general public would immediately disregard him/her as someone cool and fun. And God forbid promoting the idea of designated drivers here in Chile. Not once in my personal experience have I ever been to any social gathering here where someone merely stated "Nah, I'm good. I'm the DD tonight." Unless that person was a pregnant or nursing woman, everyone drinks and there is simply no limit.

Anyhoo, what's the moral of my story today? Nothing really. I can only do so much to change perceptions, which is limited to those directly around me, and even then, I can only influence so much. I'm not condoning scaring teenagers in Chile from getting behind the wheel because as it is, a good lot of them never learn to drive and when they do, it's later on in life. Nor am I saying that California had it right because God knows I've witnessed those same Californians doing some stupid, stupid things related to drinking and driving. I'm not sure that in general, those scare tactics used in my high school even worked. Yeah, they worked on me for the most part but that's because my mother's M.O. as I was growing up was the use of scare tactics. Thus it's the sure way to discipline me. The whole notion of "If you do/don't do ABC, then XYZ will happen (to you)." Gets me every time!

Plus, can I also attribute all this "awareness" to the fact that California as a state is all about making us aware? Aware of the effects, aware of the surroundings, aware of the aftermath, aware of the consequences. We're an aware bunch in CA, or at least, our government aims for that. Does that mean Chileans are, in comparison, unaware? No. I think they're a very aware bunch as well ... it's just that they're quick to forgive or turn a blind eye to something they are aware is bad.

THIS is the biggest issue I have with the culture right now.

Some perceptions & women's roles in Chile

2010-06-30T21:56:00.000-04:00

I'm a stranger in a strange land and because of this, I spend a lot of time learning and observing my new home (well, relatively new since pretty soon it will be a year since I arrived in this narrow land.)

Of particular interest to me is the role of women and perceptions of women's roles here. Heavy, I know but I'm guessing it's due in part to my own generalizations of women, men and traditions apparent here that can't be sawed apart, no matter the force applied. Of course I consulted my friend Google and found a very interesting article from ReVista, The Harvard Review of Latin America on the contradictions apparent in women's lives here in Chile. The very first sentence of this article made me want to pack up my bags and leave the country immediately ... it reads:

"Seven out of every ten Chileans (69%) believe that “Having a job is fine, but what most women really want is a house and children,” according to a July 2003 study by the Santiago-based Centro de Estudios Públicos." In my usual P.I. way, I decided to go straight to the source and actually review this study conducted by the CEP, Centro de Estudios Públicos or in English, Center of Public Studies. The CEP is basically a type of think tank and they perform various kinds of studies on behavior, society and culture in Chile. It has several publications and the one I consulted was Estudios Públicos, (Public Studies) which is a quarterly journal containing essays, studies and commentaries by academics and specialists in various fields of study.

And yes, I found that this study, conducted in December 2002, truly does demonstrate the ideological chasms that exist regarding the subject of women and the workplace, not only between groups of people but within the same person!

The majority 40.7% of those questioned in a survey about Women and the Work Place are relatively CLOSED to the subject of a woman working outside the home and only 12.3% are completely open to the fact. And the thing is, these numbers are pretty evenly divided between men's opinions and women's. Interestingly enough, those that are open to the topic of women working outside the home are between the ages of 18-24 BUT what's MORE interesting is that the second most supportive group are 55 and older! I attribute this to the moms and dads that age who themselves put kids through college and are eager to see them succeed in the workplace.

Here's the picture on the following question: "Taking into account all the good and the bad, family life is negatively affected when the woman works full time."

Do you see that big red line? That's Chile! That's the majority of people agreeing with this statement! The bottom five, those who agree the least, are the U.S., England, Sweden, (East) Germany and Canada.

Here's a picture with the opposite lay out ...

Except the question associated with the graph above is the following: "A woman who works can establish as much of a solid and profound relationship with her kids as a woman who doesn't work." And as you can see, Chile agrees with this statement the least. THE LEAST! Am I in the Twilight Zone, people??!!

Sigh. I might be.

This study goes on for 42 pages and if you're interested in seeing it in all its gory detail, you can download it here. It's presented as a Power Point so it's fabulously easy to read. Not all of it is horrible, but it's insightful and quite a demonstration on the conflicting views that Chileans have on various topics regarding women and her role in the Chilean society.

Another topic, independent of this study (though I'm sure it's covered within a study done by the CEP), is that of maternity leave in Chile and how women are perceived as a result of it. President Piñera has created the Women, Work and Maternity Commission which is made up of men and women tasked with providing recommendations on the following: should Chile allow for longer maternity leaves or should Chile allow for all women the right to maternity leave?

The answer, to me, is obvious. All women should have the right to maternity leave, NOT JUST the 50% who have long-term contracts with their employers. As it stands, women who have temporary contracts or who work seasonal jobs, don't share the same benefits and they can easily be fired once their government backed 18 week maternity leave is up. On the other hand, women who have long-term contracts are protected for ONE YEAR after their maternity leave, in which these women cannot be fired from their on-going, full contract jobs. This discrepancy is ridiculous with obvious favoritism towards those fortunate to have a long-term contract.

Here's what works against women in Chile: Employers are complaining of the numerous costs associated with hiring women of childbearing age (i.e. me, you, many women I know). Examples of such costs include not being able to fire women during maternity leave (that whole year), the need to hire replacements when women abuse medical leaves to care for ill infants, and the loss of productivity for the one hour daily the women are given to feed their children under two years. Can I just toss that last one in the garbage since I can't imagine that a company loses all that much in one hour. But those first two are certainly actively putting up walls around any advancement women may have in the workplace. Why would an employer hire a woman when it's far less risky to hire a man - he's only allowed 5 days maternity leave and will be back at work in no time. Because the government pays for the woman's salary during her maternity leave, the option of working from home isn't really an option. I guess the government wants you suckling your baby or something. Or vice versa. And I'm sorry, I've heard firsthand of how women DO abuse the maternity leave bit and literally FLAUNT their immunity in their boss's faces. Despicable on all fronts but especially for women's strides in the workplace. I wish such women would just quit their jobs like they truly want to and allow the rest of us to work our way up the corporate ladder.

THERE MUST BE room for women like me to move their way up in Chile and allow for perception of women in leadership roles to shift. In a perfect world, the women who want to be at home, full time with their kids, would have the ability to do so. Because in that perfect world, the roles and corporate positions that those women merely take up for the sake of taking up, would be freed for women who are career oriented and ready to dedicate their time to the company.

And perhaps THEN there wouldn't be any room for men and women alike to judge women as incapable of excelling in one role or another. We'd be give a break and allowed to excel in whatever we put our efforts in...

Call me crazy.

No balls

2010-06-20T20:41:00.000-04:00

During a time when the country - no, the world - is obsessed with balls and where they can go (i.e. World Cup fever), I've had a ball-centered weekend myself. Except my weekend has more to do with the REMOVAL of balls. That is, my dog's balls (to my more conservative readers, sorry for such a crude way of putting it!)

Last Friday, G and I had Obi fixed (neutered). While we're completely and totally ok with this decision, it's been a mini ordeal in Chile, a country where neutering a male pet is simply unheard of. Even G wasn't too keen on the idea when we first got Obi so my mission was clear: at least in our home, in our own way, we'd do what we could to be responsible pet owners and do our share to help control the pet population in Chile. It's easy to shrug off the responsibility of helping the pet population (in both dogs and cats) but the reality is that said responsibility starts with each and every pet owner.

So when I set out to "convince" my dear husband that neutering our male pet was the best option, I did my research. According to various reliable, online sources (such as The Humane Society, ASPCA and the likes), these are the most convincing reasons (in my opinion) to fix your pet:

1) Neutering your pet can help it lead a healthier life and in males, eliminates testicular cancer.

2) The female dog won't go into "heat" and the male dog won't feel inclined to wander away from home (in search of said female dog in heat.) The overwhelming sexual urges just don't kick in and your dog is free to be your dear, sweet, family pet. Isn't this the reason you got the dog in the first place?

3) A neutered male dog will be much better behaved because they focus their attention on their human families. On the other hand, unneutered dogs may mark their territory all over the house.

4) Many aggression problems can be avoided by early neutering (Obi was neutered at six months, the earliest recommended age to neuter pets.)

5) Finally, the most important reason: everyday, animals die because there is no one to care for them or are killed by euthanasia because no one wants them. There is simply no excuse for allowing pets to breed unless one is a responsible breeder who knows what he/she is doing!

With all this, G was of course convinced. He let go of the learned reaction he had for so long as a Chilean who grew up in Chile: it has nothing to do with being more manly or less manly. It's a dog, for Pete's sake! We are not removing the MAN'S testicles, we're asking a professional to remove our pet's testicles for the reasons stated above. Further it's not "cruel" of us to "deny" him the experience of a sexual encounter or the experience of being a father. Again, he's a DOG!! He still has his penis and as far as we can tell, it works despite the neutering! Furthermore, having done our research, we know that this particular breed (bulldogs) don't innately pursue procreation. Most female bulldogs needs to be artificially inseminated because it's not part of their DNA to go around shacking up with every dog they see!

My dear husband is a smart guy and with proper research and argument, if someone's right, someone's right. In this case, I was right and once we had this important discussion, not only was he convinced it was the right thing to do with Obi, but he defended (and continues to defend) this decision to every person who has something negative to say about it.

But frankly, I'm SO SICK of the weird looks, shocked questions and concerned expressions some Chileans continue to give me. Today in the elevator my neighbor made a comment about how "particular" Obi was being because he was barking at her. I told her he had just had surgery. When she and her son asked why, I debated on what to say ... finally I just said "I had him castrated." Their looks were priceless. I'm sure that they had a field day forming a very vivid picture of what my family life with G was like ... I was very proud of myself for causing such shock to my fellow (narrow-minded) neighbors but quickly found myself EXPLAINING why I had done it (basically "blamed" it on cultural differences and that where I was from, fixing a dog was considered normal.) In any case, they continue to think I'm a weirdo and I'm sure I didn't help in easing their opinion that my dog is "weird" too.

Just for the record, my fellow Chileans who think this is such a horrible thing to do to a dog, Obi's a-ok. In fact, the only thing that has him feeling less than stellar is the pain medication. We quickly discontinued it, of course and now he's on his favorite rice and chicken diet.

Of course, immediately AFTER the surgery he looked like this:

In his e-cone and doped on his recent dose of anesthesia, he looks like a pot head, druggie dog! He was super uncomfortable and couldn't find any way to sit ... but he's since then conquered the situation and he's looking more like this:

He's laying low, not really going outside and chilling with me and G in-house. AND he's not even noticing the operated area ... some websites indicated that he might lick or scratch the site, but he hasn't and he doesn't seem to be feeling any kind of pain. He's running and jumping and eating (now that he's off the pain meds).

G and I are happy with our decision and we know that in the long run, our little guy will lead a healthier, happier life as our dear family pet. Yeah, I'm still super annoyed with the majority reaction here but it doesn't make what we did less appropriate. We're being responsible and we're assuring our dog's happy life from now on.

The question is: are you doing the same for your pet?

"Clueless" and its effect on my communication skills

2010-06-16T20:35:00.000-04:00

I'm about to go off on a tangent with this blog entry and whenever I'm inclined to feel bad about not discussing topics pertaining to Chile, I'm quick to forgive myself as I'd like to draw the reader's attention to the "Welcome" section of my page. I pretty much included a clause that allows me to write about irrelevant topics. Therefore, I feel satisfied in having warned the reader and ready to dive into my tangent. [Will that disclaimer look good on court transcripts?]

Watching the movie "Clueless" really makes me miss a moment in time when my friends and I basically adopted the language of the movie and injected it into our everyday dialogue, whenever we could and with whomever we could. The movie came out in 1995, when my friends and I were either juniors or seniors in high school (I myself was a senior and incidentally, I went to high school with the lead actress in the movie, Alicia Silverstone) but I don't recall quoting it to a pulp until about 3-5 years after its release. The screenplay was written by Amy Heckerling (of "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" fame), a woman who has a pretty outstanding talent for writing about young adults. I say this because, in my opinion, a marker of said talent is when your writing jumps off the screen and into everyday life as was the case with me and my group of friends AND with subsequent women I met in walks of life thereafter.

All right, so what's my point here? Basically a simple walk down memory lane: recalling certain lines of the movie and when we applied them to our everyday lives. A simple trip that I'll enjoy taking you, the reader, on with me.

The most obvious one being the use of the word "Whatever." We all remember Ambular doing her little whatever sign during her debate with Cher (which I'll get to in a second, by the way.) If not, here's a looksie for reference:

Maybe "whatever" was something kids said in the 70s and 80s but if that's the case, I'm willing to argue that the tone of the word was much more "I'm high" rather than "I'm super annoyed with you." I picked it up in the 90s with the latter pitch and of course, it took us by storm and every other word out of our mouths was "whatever." Oh, you don't have nonfat milk? Whatever. You're charging me for returning the movie I rented five minutes after it was due? Whatever. My car ran out of gas and I am now in a ditch at the side of the road? Whatever. Though now my "Whatever" has since evolved into a tone that sounds more like "I'm bored" or "you bore me" more than it does annoyance as it did in the original debut. Hmmm, incidentally I wonder if this sounds similar to the "I'm high" Whatever from the 70s...

Moving on.

The debate between Amber and Cher during (duh) Debate Class is a really key piece when analyzing the way this movie altered my communication with peers and the world around me. In this scene, the debate is about allowing Haitians to find refuge in the U.S. and what that would mean to America's resources. When Amber's character can't figure out what the hell Cher said in her debate, the following dialogue develops in response to her teacher, Mr. Hall's, request for a rebuttal.

Mr. Hall: .... Uh, Amber, reply?
Amber: Mr. Hall, how can I answer that? The topic is Haiti and she's talking about some little party.
Cher: Hellooooo?! It was his fiftieth birthday!
Amber: [while doing "W" hand motion] Whatever!.... If she doesn't do the assignment, I can't do mine.

Working a little out of order, I'd like to share that I use this version of "hello" on a regular, if not daily, basis. It either means "Helllooooo (you're a total moron)" or it means "Hellooooo (I know you and I love you but you're having a complete and total brain fart right now and I need to draw your attention to it before this conversation goes any further.)" This movie's debate scene really does contain some gems (or so we thought when we adopted their language.)
Now, with - Mr. Hall, how can I answer that? The topic is Haiti and she's talking about some little party - the possibilities are limitless, really. Say someone asks you a question that's loaded, or asks you a question that has 20 possible answers ... this quote totally applies. In fact, I used this just the other day when I was telling a friend of mine that someone had asked me when I thought I'd be ready to have kids. Seriously, Mr. Hall, how CAN I answer that? Who the hell knows?? Is anyone really, truly ready to have kids?
I use - If she doesn't do the assignment, I can't do mine. - when someone doesn't come through on what was promised. For instance,I was promised that we'd get the mock ups of our wedding THANK YOU cards by last week and I certainly did not get them...therefore I'm delayed in sending them out to our guests and those who got us wedding gifts. Do you see how this accurately applies to such a situation? It can also apply when someone doesn't verbally give you the correct facts for any given situation, such as driving directions, steps through bureaucracy and so on.

There's also:

"I have insight, Mr. Hall" - Travis Birkenstock says this in reply to Mr. Hall's question on "futher insight." I use it whenever I have a piece of information to share or when someone has asked my opinion on something.

"Suddenly a dark cloud settled over first period ..." - Cher says this when she discovers she got a C in Debate ... I say this whenever things have taken a turn for the worse or when something unexpected happens. For instance, putting on a shirt only to later realize that it was dirty from the start! (Always an annoying realization and worthy of stating that a dark cloud has settled over first period.)

"Fluke accident during a routine liposuction" - Cher states this when describing how her mother passed away. I say "fluke accident" whenever I've f*cked up in a ridiculous manner.

"I so need lessons from you on being cool...tell me that part about Kenny G again." - Cher says this while making fun of her former stepbrother/future boyfriend. I say this whenever someone is trying to be better than me but failing miserably. As is the case with women who have mullet haircuts. I digress.

"Here's the 4-1-1" - Dionne says this to Cher when giving her the scoop on their teacher, Mr. Hall. 4-1-1 is the three-digit phone number you dial in the U.S. for "Information" on phone numbers, addresses and other details about businesses. One calls "Information" when they want to know the number to the Italian Restaurant in ABC City. Therefore the use of "4-1-1" in daily life is pretty self explanatory.

"He earns minor duckets at a thankless job." - Dionne says this to Cher about Mr. Hall. Since my friends and I started using these phrases right about when we graduated from college, it was pretty applicable to our own situations at the time, earning minor duckets at thankless jobs.

"I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies'." - Cher says this to Mr. Hall in defense of an alleged tardy to class. I use "I had to haul ass to the ladies'" generally speaking when I have to get somewhere STAT. Anywhere, mind you. Not just the bathroom. And just to clarify, the crimson wave has NOTHING to do with my use of the quote. Just so that's clear.

"That doesn't make any sense. I'd have to get off the freeway, I hate that." - Elton says this to Cher when arguing about who will take who home after the Val party. I say "I hate that" when ... I highly dislike or hate something. True, the three words are generic, but in my mind, TRUST ME, I'm giving mad props (or snaps as we're talking about Clueless here) to the movie.

"I-a not a Mexican!" - Cher's housekeeper yells this at her when Cher tells her that she doesn't speak "Mexican" (as opposed to Spanish.) Since the housekeeper is from El Salvador, obviously she flips out. I just used to say this all the time because several times I was met with blank stares when I told people I was from Chile. It was as if being Latin was equal to being Mexican. In fact, my friends used to say this to me all the time, thinking they were being funny.

"That was way harsh, Tai." - Cher says this to her new friend, Tai, when Tai says something really mean to her. It's applicable in real life in similar situations. Not that it necessarily needs to be used when a PERSON is mean, but in general when any given situation is plain whack. It can be shortened to "way harsh Tai." A crowd favorite.

It's crazy to think how certain movies affect individuals. I wonder how many movies have affected entire generations! But I don't think it's unheard of. I am willing to bet that everyone has a movie or two that really speaks his/her language. Or whose language they understand so well, said language is adopted. This was the case for me with Clueless... though some phrases I've dropped, there are many I continue to use. Further, there were terms in the movie I outright refused to adopt as well! "Betty," or "I'm outtie (perhaps Audi like the car, who knows!) and "As if," among others.

Had I studied linguistics as opposed to Communications in college, this would have been a really interesting thesis ... but I digress. I have to haul ass to the ladies.

I'm officially sucked into World Cup fever

2010-06-10T22:10:00.000-04:00

Why in sam hell is soccer not more popular in the U.S.? What's the matter with us? We're the only country that doesn't use the metric system (though we tried) and we're the only country that doesn't really, truly care about soccer.

Let me rephrase. We care about soccer for our kids. We like them to partake in AYSO and all the yuppie moms feel like they're cool and different for having their girls playing soccer alongside the boys. That much I get, and coming from that world, that much I can obviously relate to.

It's true that we're a product of our environment and with that being the case, when I lived in California I was totally in tune with the Super Bowl and the World Series. After all, even for those of us who didn't follow football and baseball during their respective regular seasons, the two championship series were reason enough to paaaartay Lindsay Lohan style. With that, what's not to love about sports in the US?

Truth be told, I do know a thing or two about baseball and had been known to watch entire games all on my own. I can thank an ex-boyfriend who was an obsessive baseball fan for that. But I could never get into football, even though I also ended up having a (different) boyfriend who was ALL about the dumb sport. Frankly, I could never be bothered. It seems so mundane, awkward and ... what's the word I'm looking for ... Neanderthal (ish). Clearly not for me.

Now that I live in Chile, I'm taking note of this fabulous little game called soccer (or "futbol" as it's known everywhere but in the U.S. - go figure.) I don't know much about the sport, really. I know the basics: one team tries to kick the ball into the goal which is protected by the goalie from the other team. You can't use your hands, there's 11 players on the field and halfway through, each team switches sides. Those of you who are experts out there, feel free to correct me and add more insight to my thwarted soccer knowledge.

The real reason I am taking note is because the World Cup starts tomorrow... and starting right now, tonight, the night before, I'm ALL OF A SUDDEN SUPER STOKED on this! Who am I? It's contagious, what else can I say? First of all, more than half of my social media peeps are talking about it nonstop - how can I ignore that? Second of all, Chile apparently has a really, really good team. At least for Chilean standards and considering the history of Chilean World Cup teams. I hear that much of this is thanks to the new coach, which brings me to the next reason I'm particularly keen to the World Cup lately... my brother-in-law works for Bielsa, the Chilean World Cup soccer team's coach and I just think it's SUPER cool to watch the news and catch glimpses of him on tv!

And let's not disregard the media. HOLY sh*tballs the media is having a field day with the World Cup. Each and every television network has a team in South Africa and they do "special reports" everyday about everything under the sun related to South Africa and/or soccer. We're spewing World Cup out of our noses and South Africa out of our rear ends. And the department stores are having a ball with advertisements that speak to the consumer who just "can't possibly watch the games on a small-screen tv." It will be interesting to know just how many tv's have been sold since World Cup fever began ...

Finally, speaking of frenzy and contagion, even the government is helping out! Chilean Labor Minister has said that her Ministry would like employers and employees to reach an agreement so everybody can enjoy the matches of the Chilean team. Is that insane, or what? Trust me, this is NEVER the case in the US with the Super Bowl or the World Series. The rationale behind this request is that workers will be more motivated to work if they are allowed to watch their national team in the most important championship of the sport. The end result? A motivated employee is a productive employee. But it's not just the professional world! The Chilean Education Ministry has authorized elementary schools and high schools to allow their students to watch the matches during school hours. To the point that they even suggested starting the school day at 7:15 am. Wha-wha-what? Higher education isn't about to be left behind either... Most universities have placed big screen tv's throughout campuses so that students can watch the matches. In some universities they even agreed to change class TIMES so that everyone could watch the games!

If this is what's going on with "regular" games, I can't even imagine what Chile will come to if La Roja (what Chileans affectionately call the Chilean soccer team) makes it to the second round!

I'm imagining a "Turn around and go back. We're closed until further notice" sign at the airport and borders for all new arrivals.

Patience in the land of the impatient

2010-06-09T10:48:00.000-04:00

I know I'm going to age myself here yet again, but there's a commercial I remember from 1987 (when I was 10, mind you) for Heinz Ketchup (note that in searching for this video I just now realized that that the actor in it is Matt LeBlanc. Who knew?)

Don't ask me why, but from the first time I ever saw this commercial, I took note of the message and have constantly reminded myself of this tried and true cliche over and over again. Seems rather heavy that a 10-year old would take to heart such a sophisticated message and further, that said 10-year old was able to see past its use in a commercial advertising the thickness of ketchup. I can't say that many things (experiences or people) have truly shaped my life, but believe it or not, as weird as it sounds, this commercial really did shape my ideology, at least in some aspects, and sort of gave me this comforting philosophy I could grab on to whenever I was feeling anxious or desperate for something to happen NOW.

So you can just imagine what it feels like for me to live in a country where it would seem that the general population lives their life going against the grain of this message.

For instance, the manner in which most Chileans drive. I've seen it all, really. Running red lights, swerving around pedestrians crossing the street - so close that the car actually rubs against them, needing to make a right hand turn at the next light but too impatient to wait their turn so they get into the left hand lane to zoom past the line of waiting cars, only to block traffic as they try to turn right FROM THE LEFT HAND LANE. All this sh*t annoys me and I fight with people constantly (from the safety of my car with windows rolled up, naturally). But one of the things that bothers me the most (aside from the 92% of Chileans thinking that turning on their hazard lights all of a sudden gives them the right to stop ANYWHERE on the road), is to see a car that is driving behind me at a comfortable pace, suddenly speed up to go around me only to fit him/herself SNUGLY in front of me and continue driving. WTF? I seriously wish I could ask the person what the motivation is behind doing something so.lame. He didn't gain any distance on me, nor did he find himself with tons of road in front of him giving him a chance to gun it down the road. All I can conclude is that, to him, it's all about doing things quickly, getting sh*t done, no matter how he goes about it. Therefore, shaving the four seconds he gained by going around me, makes him feel like king of the world. If he's in such a hurry, how 'bout leaving the house earlier, buddy? Novel thought. So as you can imagine, I end up driving behind this dumb a** a pretty long while... until he decides he needs to make a right hand turn so he gets into the left hand lane in order to get there sooner.

Also, there's the quick fixes applied to any and all things. If something breaks around the house, a heater, a lamp, the tv - what have you, the first part of the solution doesn't involve taking it in for repair, or even considering buying a new item. The first option, because it's the quickest, is to try to fix it yourself. Duct tape here, a nail and hammer there, a little rewiring here and pretty soon the thing is "as good as new." Of course this comes with a price, such as only being able to plug it in to the wall from the outlet in the bathroom ("the electrical current in there is lighter" - probably from a fix-it job on the light fixture back in the day), or the having to watch tv at an angle or something because the pressure to left helps align the collapsed tube inside. The same item will probably go through about two to three rounds of home fixes before its decided that it was too old anyway and that a new one is in order. In my world, the moral of this story is that sacrificing a little time at home without the broken item and allowing someone more qualified to actually take a looskie and fix it, would probably have resulted in quicker turn-around AND money saved. But, that's just me.

Yesterday after class, when I arrived at my parked car in the school's parking lot, I realized that the person who parked next to me had parked at an angle, completely blocking my entrance into the car. You know, so that I had to open the passenger door and climb in that way. No, he/she hadn't scraped my car or even remotely touched it, but in a technique I'll never truly grasp, he/she managed to park the dumb car about an inch away from mine. I'm not even going to try and assemble the math involved with accomplishing such a feat, but it REALLY.PISSED.ME.OFF. But let me tell you why ... this person, like me, had class on Tuesday mornings, maybe even had class all day long. Like me, this person had to get up super early, fight traffic, fight the crazies who make right hand turns from the left hand lane, dodge pedestrians, go around the hazard-light-using lame-O's who stop in the middle of a busy intersection, and all the countless things that make driving in Chile hazardous to one's health. So what gives? Running late I guess and in running late, arriving to find that the parking lot closest to campus is full, except for this one, teeny, tiny, cramped spot next to my car. ANY NORMAL person who wouldn't mind parking just a little further away would rationalize that in parking their car in this teeny, tiny spot, the person next to them (me, in this case) wouldn't be able to get out. Of course we now know that this f*cktard didn't rationalize and parked there anyway. I can forgive that he/she might have overslept and because of this was running late. I can understand that he/she might have been faced with a nana who also arrived late at home and couldn't leave the baby alone until she arrived. I can relate to a car that didn't start until about the 5th attempt. WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND and what I CAN'T FORGIVE is the imprudence and stupidity that erupts from being impatient! Because this person was late and couldn't be bothered with taking an additional 30 seconds to park just a little farther where there were more spots available, he/she decided to remain close, park in the glove-compartment of a spot which left me crawling through my car to reach the driver's seat. God forbid he/she actually walked through the scenario.

Naturally, I left them a note on the windshield. It read:

"Hey Partner,
Did you bother to see how you parked? You left me with no room to get into my car and I have to now crawl in through the passenger side. What's the matter with you? Where did you learn to drive? Iraq?
You're about as ridiculous as they come."

Here's what went through my mind right before writing this note. "It's almost 2 pm. I'm really hungry. The drive to my house will take about 40 minutes and I have to go to the ATM first. I should hurry up because I need to get to work AND I need to take my dog out. Plus I have a test on Tuesday and I'm so behind on reading. I should really get going."
However, I decided to take the two minutes it took me to open my notebook, find a blank sheet, whip out the writing instrument, write this note in ALL ITS GLORY, rip the sheet out and place it on his/her windshield; put everything away, close my school bag, walk around the car, crawl into my seat and drive off.

Smug? Yes. Unnecessary? Maybe. Satisfying? Hell yeah.

Constant highs

2010-05-30T20:33:00.001-04:00

There are a few things in life that give me that all time, happy, elated feeling. The "I'm-so-hiiiiigh" happy feeling that can only be equated to that moment when a long, hard, belly laugh suddenly becomes just a small chuckle that escapes once every 30 seconds.

This weekend I've been reacquainted with a few of those things, moments, tastes. Things like playing "Clue" (the boardgame) and slipping the cards that determine "whodunnit" into the little yellow manila envelope marked "Confidential." There's a technique to doing that, you know. It involves putting your entire hand over the card being inserted and dragging it face-down along the table so no one else even THINKS about peeking, then, inserting it into the envelope and hiding the envelope beneath something else. I love that sense of anxiety as you start eliminating the elements of the whodunnit as each person started to share their hand (of cards). Clue is an oldie but goodie and though it wouldn't dawn on most of us to whip a board game out to play, I did so this weekend, and suddenly remembered how awesome it was to just sit around and play a game with people. This is what the original board game looked like when I used to play. The image alone brings back great memories. I was always, and continue to be, Mrs. White.

Another thing that I recalled this weekend is how much I enjoyed going to the mountains and being in the snow. Now, mind you, by NO MEANS am I a snow bunny in any way, shape or form and I can hardly ski and am a joke on a snowboard. Regardless, having lived in California, I made the trek to Lake Tahoe on MANY occasions and I always had a fantastic time. There's an electric energy in the snow that only multiplies when you're surrounded by like-minded people who enjoy getting "out there" and doing their thing. While I still have high hopes to make it past the bunny slopes on a snowboard, I'm certainly not there yet, and I'm COMPLETELY and TOTALLY motivated to continue to make the best of my life here in Chile and that means, in my mind, taking advantage of the Andes mountains and the snow life it can provide! With that, I've succeeded in motivating G's kids to go and try either skiing or snowboarding (their leaning towards snowboarding - good kids!) and even G himself is loving the idea of a family-style vacay to the snow. I used to just sit at the lodge (or at home) and drink warm drinks, bake sweet things and watch 80s movies - all of which just the memories alone make me happy... and I'm not about to let that one go. In fact, I'm going to take it up a notch and I'm going to learn to snowboard well enough to graduate to the next level. The all-around goodness that brims inside me being on the snow, with the sun shining overhead, is priceless and hardly comparable to anything else.

Then there's just your basic, all-around, brilliant comedian. When was the last time you just sat and watched a comedian do his/her thing? In fact, who's "in" when it comes to comedians now a days? (I've always thought this was a hard gig!) Whoever it is, old or new, this weekend I once again became reacquainted with a routine by Eddie Izzard and his take on the "Death Star" (i.e. Star Wars) and what the everyday in's and out's where like on there. The routine is brilliant enough, especially for someone like me who quite enjoys all things Star Wars (hello, my bulldog's name is Obi-wan Kenobi). But when someone (who knows now who!) sent me this routine with a homemade Star Wars Lego video animated to it, I just about died and went to heaven. If you haven't seen it, prepare to have your life changed. If you have, prepare to remember that moment in time when your life changed. Let's all take a minute for that.

"This is not a game of who the f*ck are you."

Eddie Izzard and your "Death Star Canteen" ... all I can say is, I'm eternally indebted to you. No matter what, you bring that high roaring back time and time again.

Finally, sweet, chocolate-covered, awkward David Sedaris. Have you read his books? If not, I'll slap you silly until you run out and buy any one of his many published works. In fact, if you live close enough to me, I'll even lend it to you. That's how much I feel this person needs to affect your life in some way. Forget Elizabeth Gilbert and her IMMENSELY unrelatable memoir "Eat, Pray, Love" (seriously who has the time or money to get up and leave their life in order to travel to Italy, India and Bali?? Puh-lease.) David Sedaris is priceless and he writes to you in a manner that's equatable to a friend sitting across from you at the kitchen table. I'll humor you with some excerpts that might tweak your curiosity. If they don't, and you don't find yourself typing in the words of 'amazon' on a computer keyboard, something's wrong with your brain.

Taken from "Me Talk Pretty One Day":
"Over the coming years I would find a crack in each of the therapists sent to train what Miss Samson now defined as my lazy tongue. "That's its problem," she said. "It's just plain lazy."

My sisters Amy and Gretchen were, at the time, undergoing therapy for their lazy eyes, while my older sister, Lisa, had been born with a lazy leg that had refused to grow at the same rate as its twin. She'd worn a corrective brace for the first two years of her life, and wherever she roamed she left a trail of scratch marks in the soft pine floor. I liked the idea that a part of one's body might be thought of as lazy — not thoughtless or hostile, just unwilling to extend itself for the betterment of the team. My father often accused my mother of having a lazy mind, while she in turn accused him of having a lazy index finger, unable to dial the phone when he knew damn well he was going to be late."

From "Dress Your Family in Courdory and Denim":
"Out in the hallway I could hear my mother straining for something to talk about. "A boat!" she said. "That sounds marvelous. Can you just drive it right into the water?"

"Actually, we have a trailer," Mr. Tomkey said. "So what we do is back it into the lake."

"Oh, a trailer. What kind is it?"

"Well, it’s a boat trailer," Mr. Tomkey said.

"Right, but is it wooden or, you know . . . I guess what I’m asking is what style trailer do you have?"

Behind my mother’s words were two messages. The first and most obvious was "Yes, I am talking about boat trailers, but also I am dying." The second, meant only for my sisters and me, was "If you do not immediately step forward with that candy, you will never again experience freedom, happiness, or the possibility of my warm embrace."

By the way, not that it had anything to do with this past weekend, but speaking of David Sedaris, if you happen to be a fan, I highly suggest his wicked, twisted sister Amy Sedaris. She's probably known by the mainstream as one of Carrie Bradshaw's book publishers in SATC (alongside Molly Shannon), but really, I believe her claim to fame is the all-too-genius "Strangers With Candy," which ran on Comedy Central for three seasons in the late 90s. Basically, each show is a parody on an after school special told from the perspective of a middle aged high school student who used to be a crack whore. I mean, how do all those elements NOT spell success??

I don't know. I feel like I've given you some really valuable gems here, dear blog readers. I can't tell you how happy all of these things in life make me and more so when I can share each and every one with others.

So go ahead, take a gander at all of the above. Go skiing, make snow angels, watch "Strangers With Candy" then read a book by David Sedaris and make your own conclusions as to why that family so JUST.SO.WEIRD. After that, take a look back at your favorite comedy routines and watch them while playing a good board game brought to you by the former Parker Brothers.

Down a little vino, do a little dance, make a little love and get down tonight.

The good Chile

2010-05-24T20:36:00.001-04:00

The other day, I received a pep talk from two sources: my dear husband and a friend here in Chile. Both made their points well and I heart them both for taking the time to break it down for me. Without getting into specifics, both gave me some perspective on different things I was worrying and/or complaining about and basically allowing said worry to surrender me into the 'woe-is-me' mentality.

It's not my intention to constantly throw myself a pity party at every last thing that goes wrong in my life because in comparison to a large percentage of the world, I have many things to be grateful for in life. I'm not going to list them since that's what my Thanksgiving post was about. Instead, I've decided to showcase the things that make Chile a pretty cool country. After all, it's not like I'm living in Afghanistan or in some obscure country village of China (though I'm sure both have their charms). Believe it or not, there ARE things I do like about Chile and some things that used to bother me now have become part of my norm (i.e. weighing the vegetables in the supermarket BEFORE arriving at the check out stand).

In fact, here's a short list for you to ponder and do what you will with:

Chilean seafood: Call me crazy but Chile has got some of THE BEST seafood I've ever eaten. It's fresh, it's tasty and it doesn't matter if you go to an expensive restaurant or a "picada" (some hole-in-the-wall restaurant), the seafood is fresh and tasty almost all of the time. My favorites are ceviche, reineta, machas a la parmeseana and ...

locos (Chilean abalone) with mayonnaise

and Centolla (King Crab)

Chilean wine: When I was single, living alone in my tiny (but cute!) apartment in Northern California, I never purchased CA wine ... reason being is that I like white wines as opposed to reds and in CA, only the Chardonnays (not a fan) and Zinfandels are worth the buck (in my humble opinion). As such, I purchased a lot of wine from Australia and New Zealand. Why? They made better Sauvignon Blanc - within my price range of $8 - $12USD and available at the local Trader Joe's. In Chile all that changed ... for someone who loves Sauvignon Blanc as I do, Chile is a wine-lover's heaven! Some of my favorites include Casas del Bosque Reserva (where we got married!)

Casillero del Diablo Sauvignon Blanc (the wine of choice on the catamaran in Mexico when G proposed) and Santa Ema's Merlot Reserva. Granted this last one isn't a white but my WORD is it a tasty piece of processed grape! The first two are definitely available in the U.S. from what I hear and so I highly recommend them!

There are of course all the destinations and the amazing geography (Atacama Desert, the Lake Region and Patagonia to name a few). None of which I've visited but have heard amazing things about all and more! But the great thing is that there's pretty much something for everyone in Chile with regards to leisure. Granted, I'd argue that we don't really have amazing beaches here but then again, I'm from San Francisco where the beaches were also non-existent and cold.

I also like the tomatoes here. I wasn't such a huge fan of tomatoes when I lived back home, but would dabble in them with the occasional lettuce here and there. Since I've moved to Chile this has completely changed! I eat tomatoes, literally, on a daily basis. They're sweet and have a very distinct tomato smell and taste. Never grainy and always juicy (but not too ripe.) Just perfect. Ahhh, the perfect tomato!

In general, people here are friendly, even if (in my opinion and for what THAT'S worth) there's too much predictability among the GENERAL public. But even this lends itself to a pleasant surprise when you do meet people that are more out-of-the-box than the norm, such is the case with many of the people with whom I attend school. I was relieved to speak with women who were career focused, not family focused (yet) and who are all pretty much close to my age. I continue to find similar things in common with people there and it truly does give a feeling of not being alone in this big, bad, less developed world. Also, the people are more "en confianza" (trusting, comfortable in knowing you) and when you do spark a conversation with them more than once, eventually they'll open up a much deeper side of their lives than their counterparts would in the U.S. Sure it might seem inappropriate at times, but mostly it's engaging. After all, if some little old lady is telling me that romaine lettuce gives her awful gas, I can't help but laugh!

Also, people here just like to hang out and talk about whatever. There need not be an agenda on topics, they'll talk to you about the stop light and how it hasn't worked in three weeks. Some of these people like to ask about your entire lineage - how are they? Did your aunt get over that hip issue? did the dog recover? Can you believe she's pregnant? And so on. You gotta love the openness in sharing everything AND the constant desire to interact.

And the little old ladies here are a hoot for the most part. No, they shouldn't be driving, but then again they shouldn't be driving anywhere ... but her old school views on the world, her knit sweaters and the way she truly believes that her dog (a poodle, naturally) will get "jealous" if she is seen petting another dog (ie Obi) is really endearing. Plus, you gotta love the fact that they wear "medias" (stockings) even on warm days.

Chile is actually really modern and considering how small it is, I find it to be quite globalized. I've noticed that there's all kind of restaurants out there and even all kinds of ingredients to make the most far out recipes you can think of... or that might just be my experience since I'm not that daring in the kitchen in the first place. And modern - the fact that one can get on the bus and metro by simply placing a card against a sensor that "beeps" and deducts your money, to me, is brilliant. Considering that Caltrain and Muni back home are still working off a system that was surely invented in the 80s. Meaning, I still have to count change in order to pay for tickets on both. The retailers issue credit cards, with VISA logos, on the spot. There's no waiting for the bank to send it to you in the mail in 5-7 business days. And when you pay at a restaurant, they don't take your credit card to the machine to swipe and then bring back your receipt... no no... they use these nifty machines which they bring right to your table

Where you can add tip, confirm the amount and wa-la! Receipt prints out and you're good to go! Maybe this exists in the US already ... but I've never seen it so I think it's brilliant of Chile. Granted, the reason this is done is safety. It wasn't and isn't considered 'safe' to let your cards out of your sight. Where once it was offered as more of an added-value, I think later it turned into the norm it is now.

And finally, I'll add that one more good thing about Chile is how the little carts at the airport are free. In the US, you have to pay $5 bucks for them! What a rip off!!

So there you have it, my short, though not all-inclusive, list of what makes Chile cool. There is more, of course, lots more. But I think the other stuff warrant exclusive posts.

But more importantly, what do you think? What makes Chile cool? Talk to me, goose.

I'm all growns up

2010-05-19T15:04:00.001-04:00

Being a grown up is hard. This coupled with the fact that I can no longer take comfort in the phrase, NOR THE MERE IDEA of, "When I grow up..."

Too late! Adulthood, here I am. I got here a while ago I guess but when you're single it's so much easier to pretend there's a point in time somewhere in the future when you're going to be all growns up. Looking back, when one is single, it's really much easier to accept being down or having things go completely awry. You still have the future, some point in time when you'll be married and run a home and have a dog, share debt with your sig other and hell, maybe even have offspring.

I look around and confirm that yes, I'm already there, minus the the kid part. So it makes it that much harder when things aren't going well in a particular area in life because I tend to be pretty hard on myself and I wonder, "Where is the baller lifestyle I once dreamed I'd have?" This notion has nothing to do with not being grateful for what I have: my lovely husband, my wonderfully cozy apartment, my cute albeit high maintenance dog, my health, that of my family's etc. These are all things I'm particularly happy to have going well. In fact, so much goes well, I often feel bad for wanting more in other areas.

I'm stuck somewhere in the middle of the life I willingly and wholeheartedly chose (here in Chile with all that it implies) and the life I thought I'd have given the people I know and where I grew up. Something is just not adding up.

I wanted to be a relatively young, hip mom. The kind who does yoga, cares about what she wears and always leaves the house with little heels on. The kind of tells her kid to question the status quo and who dresses her girls in black vs the typical boring pink so many moms choose. In my head this mom has most avenues of her life in line which is the main reason the kid exists in the first place. In my mind, this could have been me if only certain things would have worked out a little bit better than they have thus far ...

The older I get, the more I fear that opportunities are farther from my reach. There's challenges in both being old and young, but here in Chile the challenge is more with those of us who are old. Unfortunately here in Chile, my age is considered middle age... adult, old, kind of over, where you are is where you'll be, kind of thing. There's more to why I feel this way but those thoughts will remain offline ... Unlike CA where this same age means prime time of life. It's a little weird to adjust to that. Everyone I know socially in Chile is younger than me. My uncle always tells me that this is the best thing, associating one's self with younger people as this too keeps one young. I definitely agree. But I look at them in wonder at how the pages of their lives aren't yet written because they're young. If they stay here, they have an advantage. If they leave, they have time to get their act together back in the US so as to be in tip top shape for their prime time 30s. What a win-win situation, I think.

On a nostalgic note, I used to want to be a writer. In fact it used to be one of my life's goals, the idea of writing a novel. I used to really like to write and imagined I'd one day be the next Isabel Allende. Obviously that didn't happen and the writing is now limited to this blog, which of course, is better than no writing. I once had this idea to write about an airport and everything that happens there. The different stories behind why each person is there. I thought it to be quite interesting since some people go to see their kid's off to college; some go to see their lost love's leave; some go because of work; some because they're trying to find their path somewhere else. So many stories that I thought for sure it would make for a good novel. Then I thought it would be really cool to write about my family's story with the idea being to go back about two generations. You might not believe the story of my family and all I can equate it to is Isabel Allende's "The House of the Spirits."

I once thought I'd be a journalist too. This was the reason I studied Communications in the first place. Lo and behold I come to find out that such a degree means nothing here in Chile and it's as if I merely graduated from high school. This is the main motivator behind deciding to go back to school again for a graduate degree. Maybe it would have been easier to have just kept on with the Journalism bit back in the day. Now of course, I'm too old.

I'm an adult and in Chile, I'm a middle aged adult. This is the hand I've dealt myself and I'm learning to adjust. I say this because in my head I feel like I'm still young and on top of the world. IN MY HEAD. Outside my head the reality is different.It would make it far easier for me to have certain things work out in a slightly more positive manner but I'll remain hopeful that this will soon be the case. Absolutely nothing in Chile is easy and I was delusional for thinking it might be.

But don't mind me ... right now I'm just a little scared of having arrived at the Adult phase without all of my equipment.

Fast forward to minute 1:15. This sums it up.

Date on, evil woman! Date on!

2010-05-14T16:08:00.001-04:00

I know a lot of you have been wondering about a certain element in our lives - a plague, a tumor, a zit on the face of humanity ...how's it been since the wedding, you ask? Not that G shares any kind of insight on that dark side of existence but I'm happy to share something that's becoming more and more evident as days pass:

It would seem b*tch face has a boyfriend.

Since this blog is relatively public and whatever I write can (and would) be used against me (or G) by said b*tch face, I'm going to have to leave it at that. If you know who I'm talking about and what it means for there to be a sad little man in her life right now, join me in a happy dance!

Happy, happy, joy, joy. Happy, happy, joy! Second verse, same as the first!

Oh but I do feel sorry for said sad little man, for he knows not what's to come if he stays. Though, for our sake, I do hope she's charming enough, for long enough, to nail him down. And I hope he's stupid and tolerant enough to propose marriage. Don't get me wrong, I wish them a lifetime of everlasting love but the reality is that SOMEONE'S true colors are going to come flying out. I just hope she keeps a lid on them long enough for them to make the thing LEGIT. I'm not gonna lie.

That's my news - short, sweet and totally vague. Let's pop some bubbly to that, mkay?

And happy dance!

The recession's a b*tch

2010-05-11T19:07:00.001-04:00

Today it officially "went public" that my current employer laid off 40% of its workforce yesterday in an attempt to respond to the financial crisis surrounding most businesses in these times. In a sweeping motion, about 55 people lost their jobs ... and I gotta say, it's a sad, sad day for us all, even if these cuts don't necessarily affect me.

I currently work for this company as an independent, so I'm not technically on their roster of employees and of course, I'm not included in the overhead of additional costs such as insurance, medical, etc. I began working for this company in January 2004 so I've seen it through it's highs and lows and even barely survived previous lows when lay offs were necessary. All in all, I've been nothing but grateful for my chance to continue to work with them even from afar. I've commented on this a few times on my blog, actually.

It's sad to watch this company go through another set of lows, this one by far the lowest valley it's walked across since I've been involved with them. I know it's not a matter of the company itself but more so, the company's reaction to its environment. In fact, article after business article seem to echo the sentiment that things are going to get worse before they get better. There's even an entire website dedicated to listing which companies have laid people off and how many were laid off. Check it out for some depressing statistics.

I remember my company's highest high (that I've witnessed anyway) and it was in 2005 or 2006, I believe. We had just merged with another company and to commemorate that, a huge party was thrown for all of our partners during one of the biggest conventions our industry holds. To this day partners still talk about that party - the location (NYC), the food, the drinks - it was really memorable. Following that, we acquired one of the most popular brands to come out of Japan - EVER - and with that came a roller coaster ride of success. Those were good times. Because we had this NEW BRAND in our portfolio, we rubbed elbows with big wig companies in our field and were wined and dined by many just so that they could be a part of the NEW BRAND team. I look back with nostalgia because at that moment in time, it seemed we could accomplish anything (dare say, could we be the Disney of Japanese animation?) Our reality was big enough to hold our dreams.

2009 and 2010 have brought on a completely different reality that folds both the economic environment and the declining sales of our products into a burrito called LAY OFFs.

My company had a cool working environment because the people were from different walks and so many of them were these brilliant, creative minds. The people made the company brew with life. And I imagine that those who didn't return to the office today are going to miss that the most. I know because I went through that too. Nostalgia kicks in, you feel medicated with it and for a second, you just remember all the good times, all the everyday crap you used to take for granted and even all the annoying walls you'd hit working with the bureaucracy that surrounded us. And even those who do return to the office today (aside from lucky them for having jobs) it's a b*tch to return and see your colleagues gone. It kind of makes your heart sink, actually. Again, I know because I've been at both ends. I've had to walk away from the company, the comfort of the everyday gig, the joy of the weirdo people and I've also had to go into the office and look around me only to find empty seats of the former team members who once occupied them. There's such a weird, emotional, sad and depressing feeling about layoffs and I think that it's not about the money lost or the hassle of paperwork. If you've been there long enough, being removed for whatever reason, feels like being kicked out of your home. Or like someone broke up with you.

But I guess I'm looking at it through my experience and trying to understand the whole landscape of what just went down. I truly believe the people who run the company are good people and I am willing to bet that the decision to make such a drastic move didn't come easy. For those who today are at home, searching employment websites, I offer this: the upgrade is inevitable. I hope that all those who are no longer with the company do find that moment when they look back and think "I'm glad that happened, otherwise I wouldn't be here." [wherever 'here' happens to be.]

And if I knew you, my personal sentiment to you is this: whatever comes next, will be amazing.
(Now, if you happen to be stoked on all that went down, then my message to you is: carry on. Drink a beer and be on your merry way!)